Journal Entries
New Year
Posted Jan 3, 2005
I am a New Year humbug, as a celebration I find it quite offensive to my intelligence.
New Year is a celebration that is just lazily plonked on the end of December for no other reason than a Roman Emperor thought it looked better there. After doing 30 seconds of research I found the history of New Year, and it seems that originally it was celebrated at the correct time of year i.e. the beginning of spring. This was the work of the Babylonians in about 2000BC, who celebrated New Year on the first crescent of the New Moon after the Vernal (spring) Equinox.
I think after 4000 years of ballooning around and clearly celebrating New Year at the wrong time, it’s time it was restored to a sensible place in the calendar. The fact that people see it as a time to get drunk is irrelevant; you can do that just as well in the beginning of spring 
Obviously there is not going to be such a major change in the calendar at my say so, at the end of the day I do not control one of the most powerful empires in history. However this year I may well celebrate New Year when we see the moon for the first time in spring and dream of a world where people don’t just do something because that’s how it’s always been done.
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Latest reply: Jan 3, 2005
Finally There!
Posted Dec 11, 2004
Just a quick message to say...
I passed my Black Belt!!!
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Latest reply: Dec 11, 2004
I have the bruises to show for this week
Posted Dec 4, 2004
AKA This is like talking to nobody and talking to everybody
Again I find myself here, drunk, having been to karate and in full flow on the philosophical side.
I'm on holiday this week and I don't know what i'm doing anymore. My life has changed so much I couldn't possibly begin to do it justice here.
The journey starts 2 years ago when I started at PC World, I took the job cos I couldn't stay unemployed. On the good side of it I made some really good friends that I have been lucky to share their company and I hope they've enjoyed mine. Also it started a downward spiral. Over the past 2 years I have taken myself to pieces, I had to, I didn't know who I was, I couldn't stand it anymore. The low point must've been about spring last year, i'd just moved jobs and just started back at karate. I didn't feel worthy of the new job and I wasn't fit enough to be at karate, I train in front of mirrors and I was disgusted with the image I saw.
However the upturn is just the most amazing thing to happen to me, I discovered Bu-Do (way of the warrior) and I could be good at this new job I found myself in.
I don't feel like going into specifics, but I feel like I'm nearly there, I feel like I'm begining to really enjoy what I'm doing, I'm happy with the direction my life is going. In short I've stopped existing and started living again.
The next week off sees me looking to the future, I now have to look forward, I have to tell the people that can enhance me what I want to do. I have no idea of the future but I know I can know face it with my whole heart on my sleave.
Life, here I am, I know how annoying you can be, but I don't care give it me with both barrels.
I'm ready now, I've fought for this, I've done it myself, and I'm going to burst forwards.
I've lived a quarter of a century and I feel like I've got my ducks in a row. All I wanted was stability a year ago, now I have it, I know I can do anything I want.
As for the title of this post, I have bruises both physically and mentally from this week, but I'll push back.
One. To seek the perfection of character.
I'm not going away.
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Latest reply: Dec 4, 2004
Funakoshi's Way
Posted Jun 4, 2004
In the past I have writen some really drunken ramblings about how I feel and how I feel those around me should re-act. Tonight it all becomes a little clearer, tonight I would like to share with you the truth. The reason we are here, and my believes.
Master Gichin Funakoshi is the founder of modern day karate-do. His life was that of a karateka. Although not perfect, as anyone's life rarely is, He is the guiding light. Master Funakoshi developed a way of life using the religon of the Buhdists, the techniques and culture of the Chinise and his own morale compass, which as far as I am concerned is perfect.
The man practiced humility and courage, strength and weakness, life and death. He understood them implicitly.
Humility: The way a pupil shall never be called such, for a pupil may teach his master.
Courage: Driving the force of karate-do ever-forward, to new lands and to new people.
Strength: The physical and mental strength to go through the barriers that man has set himself.
Weakness: To display weakness is to feign true strength.
Life: How to respect others and conduct oneself properly.
Death: The most severe, how to fight for one's life when the time arises.
People do not think about how their actions affect others, more to point, they do what they want. The lack of respect for one and other is amazing. Most of the time I can't stand to be on the same planet as most of you.
The energy you create is just vectors, I am learning to control these, although I will never be perfect I am striving for perfection. This is my way of understanding the world around me.
Kara-te: Kara = Empty; te = hand.
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Latest reply: Jun 4, 2004
The way it is
Posted Nov 16, 2003
Life, as we know it has it's ultimate answer, and indeed question (which was wrong, so we have to go back to the start, which I may go into someother time)
But, what about the process that gives us those ultimate answers (and questions). Here is a little perspective...
Tonight, on the way home from the pub, I stepped in the end process of a dog's processes. Now normally this should be a case of wipe off and start again. However, it's not always that simple. At the end of a week where I had a weird time with the former love if my life. I am far too tired (even to be writing this) to make sense, but please bare with me.
Sometimes my frustrations build up and fall out. I'm sure any one else that reads this will be the same. But my fall outs are always public. It all just seems to be the way I am. for the 99 times out of 100 I control myself sometimes it all gets too much, and that 1% just happens when, on reflection, it shouldn't do.
I have views on the way people should live their life. One such view is social responsibility. Most of that is simple things, such as not letting your dog foul a pavement, others go on to things like being a good customer. Where you treat no-one in a position of servitute badly. If you don't believe that last one, all you need is a little humility, remember your P's and Q's, and trust me, you will get what you want quicker and with a higher quality delivery.
I'm currently in the position of proving myself, and it's really difficult. I'm in an office where I am effectively the youngest by 10 years, I also have no knowledge of the industry i've found myself in, but a decent understanding of the tools (so to speak) around me. However, I feel I am being judged for things things that contribute to my job at the moment, but will not contribute later on in my career.
I have Faith in my own ability, but I don't feel I can trust the world around me. There are people who have this the other way round, the one's who 'land on their feet'. I have close friends that are like this, and that too can be frustrating.
I try to do myself justice, but I can't help these 1%'s
I know the only answer good enough is Tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes.
Eternally trying MoL
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Latest reply: Nov 16, 2003
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