Journal Entries
Phat Tuesday
Posted Apr 11, 2000
So far today has been one of the best Tuesdays I've had in a while.
I got plenty of sleep last night, had my favorite cereal for breakfast, had very little work in school, got compliments on my newest song (the first serious song I've written that I'm really satisfied with), got to go to my favorite teacher's study hall during one of my least favorite teacher's class, got my scores from the proficiency test and found out I passed all 5 parts and got honors in 3, and finally upon going home I got some long awaited mail that I am very excited about.
All before dinner time! 
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Latest reply: Apr 11, 2000
One Day of Glory
Posted Apr 10, 2000
It's about time! I finally got my first article approved! I'm a little disappointed in some of the changes the editor made, but for now I'm just going to bask in the glow of recognition. The next article up for consideration will be the one on Brian Boru, and I wrote that about 20 weeks later, so don't expect to see it on the front page anytime soon.
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Latest reply: Apr 10, 2000
From High School to High Class
Posted Apr 7, 2000
Got fitted for my tux today! The jacket and pants are solid black, and the vest and bowtie are a nice silver pattern to match her dress. I'm starting to get excited. It's gonna be so cool.
Too bad prom costs so much though. Today she asked me if I was going to pay for the whole ticket or if we would each pay half. Now I've had enough experience with women to know a trick question when I see one. I gave the right (and the expensive) answer. So that's $84 for the tux and shoes, $45 for my share of the limo, and I haven't even thought about flowers and stuff. And then there's afterprom: I'll probably have to shell out some outrageous price for the privelidge of standing in line for an hour to get jostled around on a roller coaster. Something tells me I won't be going very many places for a while after that.
I wish I could convince my best friend to go. He says he can't afford it, can't dance, can't get a date, and hates dressing up. I guess he's right, but I still wish he would go. Oh well.
I'm mad that one of my other friends, who was planning to go to Kent next year, decided they just couldn't afford it. Now there will only be two freshman from Campbell there, myself included. The other guy is going to play baseball, and they put the atheletes in a different (and probably much nicer) building, so I can't room with him. I hope I get along with my roomate; I'm a little worried about how that will go. I heard that some colleges have you fill out a personality questionaire and match up the closest ones. I think that's a good idea, but the only thing Kent does is make sure smokers and nonsmokers don't room together.
Anyways, looking forward to prom; and wow! Only 34 more school days until graduation! I just can't believe it!
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Latest reply: Apr 7, 2000
Moving On
Posted Apr 5, 2000
Two days ago I decided to leave Floor 42. I have been a member of Floor 42 for over a year, almost from the begining, but I've been having a lot of issues in my personal life, and lately I've been very easily provoked. It was just too difficult to get along with the various personalities of the other members. With much regret, I chose to leave that community until I sort things out. I don't know how I'm going to live without it; I've gone on that forum almost every day since Feburary of last year. But it's time to move on, and that's what I'm doing.
My prom date has finally picked a dress; I was afraid I was going to have to get my tux before she made up her mind, and rent four different ties so one would match her dress. 
It's going to be silver, which is good because I could definitely see myself wearing a silver tie, but I wish she had picked a black one: she may not be a supermodel, but something about her in a jet black dress drives me out of my mind. 
I'm feeling pretty good right now, compared to last weekend when I was hit with the worst depression I've ever experienced. It's so weird; most of the time I feel fine, happy even, but every once in a while--usually when I'm alone--I get in this mood where all the demons in my life suddenly unite and hit me with an atomic explosion of negative emotions. If it gets much worse or more frequent I don't know how I'll be able to handle it. I'll only resort to medication if it gets to a point where it's really interfering with my every day life, because the idea of depending on a pill for emotional well-being horrifies me. I have an alternative mood stabilizer: Queen. I bought the CD "Classic Queen" a couple weeks ago and I love it. They are my knew favorite band. I'm listening to it right now, and I've been listening to it at least twice a day every day since I got it. Some of the songs like the one I'm listening to right now, "The Show Must Go On" are really inspiring to me. I just can't get enough.
That's all for now.
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Latest reply: Apr 5, 2000
Beginings and Endings
Posted Apr 1, 2000
Only 9 more weeks till graduation! It's just not possible. School years have always dragged on and on for me, but this year has gone by in a flash. So much has happened. The football team going from 4-6 last year to 10-0 this year, my first time being drunk (and my first hangover), and countless other memories.
Ever since grade school I've counted the years till "freedom", but now I just don't want it to end. My life is far from perfect; between my family life and the self-torment of my own confused psyche, it can be quite trying some days. But I really don't see my life ever getting better than it is right now.
Sure I'm excited to go on to college and shape my own life, but I don't know how I'm going to be able to bear being forever seperated from my old life. It's not as big of a deal for most of my class because they will still be here in Campbell and hang out with each other. But I feel the call of the larger world, and I just can't stay in Nowhereville USA all my life.
So many wonderful people that I will rarely or never see again. I never felt a strong sense of community before, because I always stayed out of the mainstream group until recently, but everything changed this year. I feel a sense of unity with my graduating class that I never thought was possible. I know in my heart that I will get over this train of thought eventually, but for now I'm going to make the most of every moment I have left with my classmates.
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Latest reply: Apr 1, 2000
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Wolfman, Zaphodista :X (soon to be Zarquon again, or maybe not)
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