Pull up a chair, put up your feet and enjoy a jynnan tonnyx
I have returned...
Although no one is going to notice that I was ever away, since I didn't make any impact the first time round (unlike a certain short-lived sperm whale I could mention)
Basically, I registered the day h2g2 was launched and then promptly lost contact. I suspect I was sent overseas with work for an extended period.
(And I'm still popping in and out occasionally, generally lurking and keeping a low profile to this very day... I should apply for a job in MI5 or something!)
Overseas
Ah, 'Overseas' - conjures a lovely image of basking on a tropical beach in Barbados with a laptop and a broadband net connection so I can continue my exciting life as a computer programmer (well, it conjures that to me as I sit listening to the rain on the roof)
Sadly, as with so much in life, reality doesn't live up to the much more attractive fantasy (unless your fantasies involve rain, huge car insurance bills, staggering amounts of tax removed from your monthly pay packet and COBOL programming... in which case you need some help, and an imagination transplant!)
No, for me, living as I do in Northern Ireland, overseas usually means somewhere in England, which is sometimes marginally more sunny, but ain't no beach in Barbados...
Some of the exciting1 places I have worked in include Corby, Daventry, Doncaster, Wimbledon & Brentwood. It must be said that Doncaster was the most fun, which was lucky, since I was there for six months. (If anyone knows the Regent Hotel, someone2 there may remember me as the bloke who drank all3 the Jamesons!) Brentwood of course being where DNA attended school, although I think he had long since moved on by the time I got there, unfortunately.
A long overdue update: I recently spent a whizzo week in Bucharest (working!) and spent a staggering amount of money on imported Scotch whisky in the English Bar in the Hilton Hotel... I heartily recommend it, especially the 30 year old Glenlivet. If you find yourself in that fine establishment, tell Daniela that I'm sorry I never got a chance to return with the bottle of Bushmills I promised. 
The English Bar has the best bar staff I have ever met, and I've met a lot! 
(Big "Hello" to Daniela 
and Liliana )
Who the heck am I anyway?
Good question...
It probably deserves a good answer...
...but I have no idea what it might be!!
I made my debut appearance in May of 1968, in Portadown, County Armagh, Northern Ireland, about 10 miles down the road from where I now live. I survived the following 30 odd years physically unscathed, but who's to say who I would be now if things here had been different? Still, that is a moot point, and not one I dwell on too much4.
While a reasonably outgoing youngster (or so I'm told) I'm afraid once I discovered Rubik's Cubes, personal computers (blame Sir Clive Sinclair for the ZX815, and Atari for their 8-bit6 home computers) and to some extent The Hitchhiker's Guide, I realised that reality wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and retreated into a little dark room where I could indulge these new hobbies... I became... Teenage Geek Boy!
After planning a glittering career at the cutting edge of the computer industry, the reality again ultimately disappointed, and I ended up in a job that a) kept me in beer money, b) put petrol in the car, and c) paid the phone bill so I could 'surf the net'. I have recently shaken off the spectre of COBOL (touch wood) and am enjoying work slightly better these days, so there is yet hope.
The rest of my life has been classified 'Top Secret' by the government, and I am not permitted to speak of it in any great detail... Suffice to say you would be horribly envious if you knew the half of it... Then again, I may be a colossal liar, making up a lot of rubbish for a page I am sure no-one may ever read!! You decide...
Recently unclassified information (under the 30 year rule) includes the fact that my favourite tipple is whiskey or whisky (depending whether I'm in the mood for Irish or Scotch) including (but not limited to) Jamesons, Bushmills7, Famous Grouse, Glenfiddich, Glenmorangie, and Laphroaig - and heaven help you if you try to put anything in it... well, maybe a little ice!
I am also pathologically drawn to sentences containing lots of parentheses, ellipsis and exclamation marks. (I try to hold back, but I seem unable to stop myself!!)
If I didn't live where I do now, I would probably be in Vancouver, drinking expensive 18-year-old Scotch on top of Grouse Mountain, or scaring people by bouncing across the Capilano Suspension Bridge!8
...and the rest can wait for another time
My sad return to h2g2
Sadly, my return to h2g2 was prompted by the sudden and untimely passing of DNA, a man whose humour and imagination enriched my life from my teenage years until the present, and whose influence will never be lost as long as we have the written word.
A toast...
So, I ask you to charge your glasses with a pan-galactic gargle blaster9, (or a jynnan tonnyx or ouisghian zodah, if you intend doing anything else later10...) and join me in a toast to Douglas, and drink... but... very carefully...
Latest Messages
| Messages left for this Researcher | Posted |
|---|---|
| hi | Mar 9, 2007 |
| Welcome back, again . . . . | Sep 22, 2005 |
| Bout ye! | Sep 1, 2003 |
| are you there? | May 28, 2001 |
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| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
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| This story brightened up a dull week in the office! | Jun 16, 2004 | Apr 28, 2007 |
| Guess who...? | Feb 9, 2007 | No Replies |
| Another Christmas racked up | Dec 30, 2005 | No Replies |
| Welcome back, again . . . . | Sep 21, 2005 | Sep 22, 2005 |
| As if going to the dentist wasn't stressful enough... | Sep 22, 2005 | No Replies |
Jynnan Tonnyx (-2+7-9+0!+invtan(1) =42)
Researcher U27901
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