h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We', you left yourself wide open.

Brilliant! Have you been cut out of the wedding pictures? Or your hair has been cut out and replaced with a magazine clipping

I could barely summon up the confidence to squeak hello at school, ne'mind being obnoxious. I'm making up for lost time now.

Me too, again. Might be able to get a bit more kip.

Morning, Mrs B!

Funny you should say that...there are hardly any photos of me from the wedding when Bro showed them.

Yeah...you always got to watch the quiet ones. I was, until I found how good I was at being obnoxious, and well, that was that really.

Toodle pip m'dear.

Everytime I nosy at your PS, it's slightly different.



Do I win a prize? More Flant World tickets?

Yes! I'll try an alternative to the post this time, though ... if only Gerald were ... were ... *sob*

But he's doing well, isn't he? Have you received a postcard yet? Text?

Not for a while, no *sniff*

I think he's probably having far too much fun with his new pigeony friends.

But yes, a text - it's not too much to ask, is it? I'm not being unreasonable, am I?

I could pritt them to a badger and point him in the right direction?

He's not worth the heartache, Trin.

Honestly, all that time you spent together and then as soon as he gets a few new friends, he's off like a slice of toast down a bowling alley.

That should work. (Do you still get visited by the badgers?) Give them a Sat Nav and they'll be fine.

Hang on - a winged Grunty Pig!

Of course!

*Straps tickets to Grunty Pig SB401X*

Right - you know where you're going?

*oink*

3 - 2 - 1 - Go! Fly to Footie! Your Rabbit King commands you!

*Grunty Pig SB401X wheels up into the sky, circles a couple of times, lets out a happy 'oink', then heads off southwards*

Oi! No! That way! That way!

*oink!*

Oh, for the love of ...

*Grunty pig appears at window*

*Oink*

Damn moths trying to get in again.

*Oink!*

Look, it's only a 40 watt bulb, you wouldn't stave off the hunger for long.

*Oink!!!*

You should be in rehab! You don't need the light! Sort yourself out!

*OINK!!!*

*Opens window*

You young moths! Coming round here at all times of night! I know your dad!

Oh!

Ah, the Grunty pig.

Flant World tickets!

Yay!

Ooooh, he made it! Phew!

Who you going to take with you?

*Grunty Pig eyes up the spare ticket meaningfully*

I might take the grunty pig. He has been threatenign me with the apple knife, after all.



Or maybe...

*Paints the fence*

Hunh! Kung foo fighting!

Hah! Footbacon's fast as duvet on elevator! (Have you not heard the new version, that added a few more words.)

*Grunty pig flys away*

And the ticket for Flant World will go to the highest bidder.

Oo! *Pulls out wallet* Let's see ...

There's a note.

"Dear Rabbit King,

"By the time you recieve this note I will have flown the sty and will be in another kingdom entirely. I have taken all your money.

"Yours,

"Grunty Pig SB401X"

*Looks around*

A sock filled mess is a kingdom?

For Grunty Pigs, yes.

Though they prefer mess-filled socks.

*Lurks*

You got Della started.

*Lurks*

It doesn't say 'Post Message' on her screen. It just says 'Flush'

>>I'm starting a sweepstake over how long before the thread offers up postings from the more 'fervent' Hootooers and how many posts get yikes'd. Care to have a flutter?<<

<<An sweepstake? *Looks disapproving*

(Tenner on five yikeses)<<



Give that man.... *drum roll*.... £50, an HMV voucher and a night out with Jeremy Paxman

Does this only work when Trin does it?

*Puts on Trin disguise*

*Grunty noises*