h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Trin?


My...what long hair you have dear Trin.


My...what a high pitched grunt you have this evening dear Trin.


My...you errr...seem to have a couple of things stuffed down your jumper dear Trin

Oh, yes. I almost forgot about those. Better hurry before they melt.



There we go, two chocolate donuts.

Ahem - are you aware of the penalties for impersonating a Tragula in the lawful pursuit of 'is duties, miss?

Or of a-tryin' to circumvent the doughnut tax? (Currently 50%)

Is the penalty death by donuts?

Because I'm fine with that.

Death by donuts? Ha ha ha ha ha HAAA!!!

*Checks rules and regs*

Er ... yes it is

Right - there's your first fifty. See how you get one with those and give me a shout when you're finished.

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*



Have you got any jam donuts for the next stage of the punishment?

Were those not jam? Well, they don't count, I'm afraid - we'll have to start again.

Right *Plunges into enormous skip o'donuts* Let's see: custard, apple, chocolate, chocolate chip, mint, marmite ... ah, here we go, jam!

Aaaaand - go!

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*



Ach! No more! No more!

Hang on, did you say custard?

Certainly ...

Only forty of those I'm afraid. But if we go for lucky dip with the rest *picks ten donuts at random* I think that will be appropriately punishy.

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*

*Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch**Munch*




That's it then?







*Grunty noises*

You're not going to eat Mrs B, surely?

Are you feeling close to 'death by donuts' by the way? As punishments go, we were never too sure about it ...

I was hoping for more donuts, but if you're all out then Mrs B will do.

I've got a slightly swollen stomach, but I can't see any bright lights yet.

Have you tried death by muffins yet?

Mmmmmm...donuts

Death by Mrs B!

You'll have to be quick though

*THWACK*

How has Excalibag disappointed you that he deserves to be whacked against that tree?

*thud*

Ah - squirrel.

My aim isn't what it used to be

Don't know if that squirrel would agree with you ...

Unless he's acting as a decoy of some sort. What do you make of that idea, Foot-'Friend o'Squirrels'-Bacon?

Where'd she go?

*Takes off squirrel disguise*

*Pops head out of tree*



I'm here.

Well, if you stood still and took the like a man, the poor squirrel wouldn't be where he is now...or as squishey.