h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's plain daft. We're trying to be sensible here.

(An onion being nibbled at by a small cat).

There's always one that spoils it for the rest.

Nyer diddly nyer nyer.

(Does it have a Post Office?)

Boffy boots trying to get down with the cool kids, ey? Heavens!

(It has a tube of Pringles and three flys).

That's my stylee, sho nuff. I am a dab hand at communicating with *cough* wiv the younguns. Yeeha! Gosh!

(How many Pringles are left? )

(None for you. )

(Got through six tubes in a week and a half. )

()

()

Mrs B? Pringles?

Teenage boys smell of a mix of Wotsits and uncooked Bachelors Savoury Rice.

Not a lot of people know that

Remember when I was jealous of the new Footie at work who was better in every way than the original? Turns out she's insanely boring. She spoke for ten minutes about a text message sent to the wrong person. She didn't even stop when someone told her it was a very very long story.

You seek out and sniff teenage boys?

Yay! I knew she'd be wrong

Couldn't be happier to fall asleep to her boring rambles about dresses and boys.

There's another Footie??

No, they just seem to keep turning up at my house.

Oo! I've got a ramble!

I found one of those cards in my mail today which said they'd brought round a parcel and I wasn't in (even though I was in and if they pushed the buzzer, they hadn't done it very hard )

So I went all the way to the postie place and handed over the card and I was all excited, because I wasn't expecting a parcel and I thought it would be a surprise prezzie or a food hamper from an admirer or somesuch.

Lightbulbs. Economy lightbulbs from my leccie company.

That's it. That's the ramble. Even duller than boys and dresses.

Not a patch on the original.

Does hanging vegetables over the doorway not keep them away?

But if you were to ramble about boys and dresses it'd be interesting.

Oo! Postie came back later and he was wearing a dress.

Very dishy

Trin rambles, always so, illuminating



Heh! Cheesometer says it's time I went to bed...

N'night smells

Did you speak to him?

Night smelly breath.