h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do people just surf around looking for suggestive names do you reckon?

No - I have no idea why a load of men would see the name "TartyGirl", who describes herself as being a Flirt and here for Fun, and respond by sending lascivious mail.

Men eh? I'll never understand them

Very weird indeed: liking cakes makes you an object of attention? How does that work then?

I will have a major strop, if you are not nice to me

Oh - Viv Richards....I get it now.

Sorry

Let me in introduce myself....

For I am the famous Maninblue!!

What you mean, never heard of??

And while I'm talking to myself....

Today's colour is BLUE

Today's tart is yummy

Today's weather girl is Ulrika (back by popular demand!)

Today I shall mostly be sat in the chair watching Venus, Justin, Andy, Alex, Tim and other well known Big Brother housemates.

Local weather conditions at the moment suggest MIB that you'll mostly be sat watching old re-runs from tournaments past (or some films).

'Tis true Viv

But....the sun's out in Reading! - no it's started drizzling again...

Dark and drizzly in WC2A at the moment: Tiger Tim might still get through if they have to have a backgammon play-off istead of playing pit-a-pat outdoors.

Mind you, he has got a great back hand cross court pit-a-pat action nowadays.

If this was cr***et, they would have managed to declare the game a draw after all this rain. And then Tim would be the winner because it's his court.

Au contraire: were it cri**et, we would have 5 days set aside to reach a result instead of trying to fit hundreds of matches into only a fortnight: obviously, cri**eters understand the English summer better.

Blimey, is the sports round up, or a meeting of pervs anon?

Todays weather is wet and cold. Vegetable: carrot for all the pervs. Food: fresh pasta (choose your fav) with tomato, parma ham, garlic and basil sauce. Todays regret: well there are two, my name and inviting the monster muncher child home for tea.

I would just like to say...isn't this lovely over here, without that horrible troll I do so hope we are not discovered.

Please don't mention the tr*ll, tg.

I was just managing to forget him, and now all those terrible memories of strawberries and misspelings are flooding back!

Hello everyone. Isn't it lovely here?


Is Wimbledon over yet? I was wondering when the Sun was going to come back......

I'm allergic to both strawberries and trolls anyway. I was intrigued by the banal tale of "Goose cogs" though.

If rain stops a tennis match early they should use the Henman-Wins Method whereby Timbo wins because he is a Plucky Brit.

Hello all. An hour ago I was Byronic but now I have considerably less hair than I did; and I have a copy of a Michael Frayn book (sadly, I have had to order the Doris Lessing novel that I am under orders to read) bought at Scope for 75 of the Queen's pennies.

Sadly, - Peter will be interested to hear - I have also fallen out of love with Helen Willetts and opted for the new weather-girl on BBC South whose name escapes me.

Today, by the way, rosemary holds sway in the herbal stakes.

Is the weathergirl Lara Lewington, by any chance? The rather chesty blonde with a penchant for big, hoop earings?

She was the outstanding memory of my recent stay in the South West-ish area...