h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Leggy, she did. And it was a REAL SWEET lady friend, one of a kind you can say. The bad thing is that I'm moving tomorrow and I might never see her again

Phew...it's hot I need a volunteer to fan my body all night in order to keep me cool. Yes?

Thumbs - you certainly move around a lot! And it's obviously playing havoc with your love-life

MMP - I suggest a nice cold shower, followed by bed with a hot-water-bottle filled with ice-cubes Oh - wasn't that what you had in mind?

Evening all.

I have eight beautiful Filipino concubines who fan cool air all over my body and you cannot even find one person to do it for you, FaF? That's poor.

You'll have to pay someone (my ladies do it for free)

Actually i've really always wanted one of those big ceiling fans like you see in old American movies - I've just never got around to getting one. And I'm sure they can't be as effective as 8 Filipino concubines. I suppose that's one for every day of the week and a special treat on Sunday?

Ceiling fans don't need to be fed and watered, and don't need beds to sleep in, so maybe they are more practical?

You are very kind to let all your concubines sleep in beds Alex...

I am lovely and kind, aren't I?

I expect you cook them lovely meals as well..... and let them telephone their families back home... and play c****et with you and everything...

No, they are not allowed to play cr***et and I do all the cooking in return for their 'fanning' failures...

Actually, Leggy, I am lying. I don't have eight concubines at all. I have one and his name is Norman and he comes from Salford. The Filipino option was too expensive.

I don't believe you Alex. I think you just don't want to share them with the other guys


Too hot to think today....

'fanning failures...' - What a strange typo...it meant to read 'fanning efforts'.

Hello, Leggy. It's a bit quiet here. Shall we start a party and put on loud music so that passers-by hear us and want to join in?

FaF will bring some booze and men, and Thumb Puppet will bring some women...

Yeah! Party time! Let's get Rowdy!

Look! IVAR is already trying to pull someone in the corner and El Bandido is trying to set fire to his pony-tail...

I think he's had too much

Omigod. What on earth is FnF doing with that .... what ever it is and that mate of Thumbs.... Oh. It;s the latest craze - Boot-Only hiking is it?

... and why is Thumbs asking all the women if they'd like to see a big snake?

Oh thank you. I don't mind if I do have a cocktail

Leggy, you'll die if you drink that cocktail.

Boot-only hiking? Where? Is FnF doing it too?

Oops! Too late!

Yes - I think FnF is doing it as well - except she seems to have forgotten her boots....

Yikes. Better hide in the kitchen with those goths I saw earlier.