h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Geez, I wish I never would have asked. ...oh wait, you're right. I didn't.

Short for 45?! That just makes those moron even lazier and dumber than I thought! That makes mo sense at all.

You've never seen Pulp Fiction? Man, you would make a very poor American college student. There are some circles that only quote that movie.

They are shunned and feared like most of the other circles, but remain one of the cooler circles to get pulled into.

Them and the people who only quote The Simpsons.

Well it's a good thing I'm not an American college student then. Maybe I'll watch it next year sometime. I used to be one of those people who quote the simpsons all the time. It's just that there's a simpsons quote for every given situation!

I watched Crimson Tide while I was in Southampton. Made me think of you. I re-read your bit that was in the UnderGuide about submarine combat when I got back lol. You seen the film? How realistic is it?!

I've been trying to find a job for the summer online. It's such a faff having to fill out endless forms about what skills you have and what grades you got in each subject...! Ah well, suppose I haven't got anything better to do at the moment.

Catch ya later, Ali

Grr. Don't get me started on Crimson Tide.

...too late. WAY too late.

No. Not realistic at all. But you get a good idea of my job. Remember those guys that drown in the bottom of the boat?

That was me.

The guys that fiddle around with the radio yeah, those lazy bastards were ET's.

F**kin' smoothies.

The two main things wrong with the geography of the submarine, to say nothing of how things are actually done there, are the space and the lighting.

The subs we use are actually quite large. None of this "Make a hole" nonsense about having to squirm through tight passageways to get places.

..Don't get me wrong, you couldn't have a picnic on board, but it's not really as cramped as all that.

And it's not some dark dreary gothic cathedral, either. Those things have more lights than a Christmas Tree. You can't be expected to clean all the time if you can't see the dirt.

"If you got time to lean, you got time to clean!"

Good luck with getting yourself a job. I won't ask why you'd ever want to be a cog in a machine someplace. What with, ... well, yeah. Former Navy. No room to talk.

Be good! Watchin' you...

Dang. You were just here, too. Eh, well, if they make you wear a tie, just be careful what you dip it in.

And now you're back!. ...advice still applies.

Dan

Gone again. ...this is kinda fun!

Now it says you're back, again. Are you doing this on purpose?

Wow, we're online at the same time - that doesn't happen often! Guess that means it's time for me to go to bed soon. Ah well, not just yet, it's only just gone 11.

Ok, so we'll drop the whole submarine topic... Except: what do you mean by 'too late'?

What's wrong with being a cog in a machine? It earns a living doesn't it? I'm only gonna be there for 3 months anyway. This is why it's gonna be hard finding a job. I mean, who would want to employ me knowing that I'm not gonna be there for long?

You're not watching me - you would have no idea whether I was good or not! Anyway, by the time I've written this you'll probably not be online any more so it won't make as much sense. Trying to talk to someone else at the same time... sorry.

Arrgh, I took so long writing it I missed all your posts! And I bet now this is gonna be another simulpost now! But I haven't been logging in and out or anything like that. Strange...

Too late in the sense of the guy from "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner"

who every so often runs into someone, and can't rest unti he tells them his story.

You just got the first chapter in

"Dans' guide to Submarine life: Facts and fitions ahoy!"

Better run while you're ahead.

Earn's a living, doesn't it. ...Ali, lot's of things earn a living.

I guess as long as you're fine with doing whatever, then great.

You have to remember that I'm very bitter against the system.

Aye, old salty sea dog like me.

You haven't? ...huh. Because every time (almost) I would post something, you woud be the opposite of what you were. In or out.

How bizarre.

..might just be me, though. Grabbed something to drink on the way over here...

You know how it goes.

Ah, had to study that in english in year 8 (that's like, when you're about 13) so I don't remember it that well.

Lots of things earn a living... so what are you suggesting I do? Sounds a bit dodge to me...

You haven't changed the subject of the convo for a while, that's not like you!

I'm not suggesting anything, just saying, ...well, don't be too wiing to grab the first job that comes your way.

My friend joined the circus once (No joke, he really did!) and they had him do all the bad jobs that no one else would do.

Just read the fine print is all.

There's always fine print.

..yeah, do need a new suject. I've een having a couple convos, going, so haven't really had time.

That better?

that's don't be too 'willing'...

and stuff.

Yeah, much better. The circus... well I don't think I'm that desperate... yet. I've got the plague of the '...'s again! Not quite sure why!

Funny how it took us about half a year to get through the past page of postings and this one's gonna take us about an hour at this rate!

Hey Dan, how's it going?

Wimbledon was cool on Monday. Didn't see anyone that famous, and everyone we saw went out before the third round! We think we'd better stay away in future cos we're clearly bad luck! But yeah, it was fun.

Then I went back up to uni for a week and did some more data collection for my project. That wasn't so much fun but at least I got it all done. I have to start writing it up now, not looking forward to that particularly.

What have you been up to recently, anything fun? It's been so hot this week, like Monday when we were at Wimbledon was absolutely sweltering! I mean we were melting just sitting, I dread to think what the players were going through! But the weather's broken now and it's actually kinda cold. That's britain for ya. Anyway, take care,

Ali

What have I been up to? Holy crap. I'm in shock right now.

Seattle just got through with it's annual gay pride weekend. They just had a three and a half hour parade featuring things I have never even imagined, let alone wanted to see.

But I'm a sucker for parades, so had a good time.

...It's really odd how often straight girls will flash gay guys.

So confused right now. And disturbed. Nothing like a seven foot tall, 300 pound drag queen blowing you a kiss to really shake up your day.

Weather has been great. Cloudy, but warm. No rain all weekend, which was odd.

Anyway, glad to hear the tennis thingy went okay. Well, except for jinxing all the players! Way to go.

*****

So your data telling you anything? Bad water, or what? ..I'm only interested due to the "My dog drinks this water" angle. Still think you should contact the local vet.

One mans' opinion. One scared man.

Take it easy! Dan

Hiya,

Recovered from the scary gay parade yet?! Sounds like fun...

Well I've been up to quite a bit recently. Been catching up with friends who are back from university anyway. Played a bit of tennis last week (although I'm not very good), then played mini golf the next day, that was fun. Never been to that one before even though it's about a 15 minute walk from my house and was only £1.70 each!

Then it was my friend's birthday so we went over to his house for dinner and watched some of the Live8 concert. And I went to see War of the Worlds yesterday. Thought it was quite good. Haven't been doing any worthwhile today though. Alas.

Take care, Ali

Hey, Ali!

Haven't been doing anything worthwhile today? Sounds like the definition of a worthwhile day.

It's frickin' SUMMER! Kick back.

I love mini golf. There used to be a course at the Seattle Center. I used to skip school to catch the boat across and mini golf all day long.

If I ever go to Holland, I'm probably gonna freak out and start having flashbacks, as soon as I see all the windmills.

But the course is gone, now, and I haven't done it in years. ...way too long.

As for me, hehe, had Beerfest over the weekend. Went fantastic. I was working in the Beergarden, serving drinks out of a keg, and everyone loved me. Laughed at my jokes. It was like I was a hero, or something. Then all the kegs ran out of beer, so I started drinking (gotta make up for lost time...) and everyone recognized me as the cool guy who was giving them beer, so they all started buying me beers.

I have never had so many in my life. Had a blast.

That was Sunday. Then on Monday it was the Fourth of July. Which is really big over here.

Got something to do with beating the hell out of the British, or something like that.

...What?! Don't look at me like that. It was a long time ago. Sheesh.

Anyway, nowadays, it's pretty much just an excuse to drink beer, have a barbeque, and light stuff on fire and blow it up.

Which is why it remains my favorite holiday EVER.

So I'm doing good. Crap. My idiot friend just showed up, so I gotta go. Have a great day!

Dan - god of Beer.

Hiya,

Glad you enjoyed the Beerfest last week, sounds like fun. I went down to an event called Music on the Moor on Saturday, it's just a little local thing where bands from local schools and some professional bands play. It was cool.

The mini golf we played didn't have any windmills or anything, each hole was in the shape of that number (1-9), it's pretty simple really but still good fun.

I'm going down to southampton tomorrow to spend the summer there staying with my boyfriend. They don't have the internet in their house so I might not be in touch for a while. They are planning on getting it put in but who knows whether they'll actually get it organised or not! So I may not speak to you for a while and if not, have a good summer.

Talk to you when I can, Ali