h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oooh... Well, the most common Norwegian name would have to be Olsen or Nilsen or something... Boring names, really...

*Yes, something from TG, Mattias had this anime music video with Aerosmith... *Yes it does. You know it does. *Acourse. We've got the school drama-room, though. I suppose that could work... *Chaos. Nope, I wouldn't want to do that. *They don't believe in them over here. *Nope, but it was the overall impression that mattered. Naw, it's not that important, really. *A new concept, eh? *Yes, I won't show you my horrible judo techniques when you're on the other side of the Atlantic. **********

Yes. Well, you're still above average, aren't you? Anyway, you could retake the test to get in where you want to go...

Well, then don't do it.

Yes, that would be about when I woke up, too, ten o' clock. I was awake before that, and couldn't sleep...

I've met a few of both. I think Smith, Brown, Green, and Jones are some of the most common. Bigger country, lotsa immigrants, more variety, I suppose.

*That is incredible. *Okay, so it does. The devils have hurt me on more than one occasion. How do I know it's the same goose? I don't; I'm seeking vengence on the entire species. *Depends on how good the auditorium is. It's worth a try, trust me. *Aww, come on... *Lucky you. They go on sprees over here. One decade they believe that tests are bad, and the next they believe that they're a godsend. *You sure? *No, not really. *You could. *tittertittertitterfallsoutofchairtittering**************

My percentiles are pretty good, but my score SUCKS. I really don't think anyone looks at anything other than the score. I'm not retaking the damned test especially after it dropped this time. I can just see getting my scores back with me in the 900s. Aarghity, aargh, aargh.

At the time, I had a reason to snort, but I don't recall why I snorted now.

*sigh* Are you sure you're perfectly alright?

Yeah, that would be it. I've met more than a few, though.

*Incredible, yes. Very odd, too... *Thought so. I don't like the species either, but I've got a mental block when it comes to harming creatures physically. *I believe you, I will now have to figure out a way of doing it, though.... *Nope, you've got enough weird pictures of me for now, though more are bound to come when I get the ones from Kristian's birthday. *Indeed. I think the whole idea of MEASURING things like that is absurd. It's so completely ignorant of individuality. *No, never sure. At least not now. *What were we talking about here? *But I won't. Anyways, I don't do it a lot these days. I had one round of Judo/TKD with Aleks about a month ago, but nobody photographed/filmed it. *******

Too bad. Does this mean you can't get in where you want to go?

Well, I don't see what the reason was, and don't go for the "you know what you did"-approach this time!

Nope.

I've met Olsens by the dozen, but I haven't met very many Nilsens. A lot of Neilsons, Nealsons, and names that are probably derivatives, but not very many Nilsens have I met. Oh, I meant to ask you if there was any diminutive for your name.

*I can only imagine. *So do I, which is why I only go after peacocks who don't mind how many feathers you pull out of their fan as long as you don't pull too many or pull their wings. *You mean, find a way without looking like a complete and total loon. *Actually, yours aren't too weird. Did anyone take a picture of your two-in-the-morn serenade? I'm sure you'll get plenty of strange ones from prom. There's no telling what will come out of three girls doing hair, makeup, wearing dresses, watching Happy Tree Friends, and eating Laughing Cow Cheese. Muahaha, I can't WAIT! *I think it's a good idea, but I'm not sure that stardardized tests can accurately measure your intelligence. Well, when the world is striving for conformity, what more can you expect? *Not sure of anything at the moment, are you? I'm sure not. *Haven't you given up trying to figure out what we talk about? *I think it's fascinating. Like dancing in its own way. I've watched my friend Jake compete and it's amazing.**********

I can get in to almost institution in the country, but AARGH I wanted a good score. *pout*

How did you know I'd try and pull that? I try and reserve that for things that are incredibly important or things that are incredibly trivial. I think I snorted because you said 'indeed' and it seemed entirely too predictable and funny in context with everything else. *shrugs* Who knows?

Ever get really, really frustrated?

Aha. Nope, no such things, I'm afraid.

*I suppose so, yes. But it shouldn't be too hard to imagine. *Aha... I thought all birds hated you? *Yes *Naw, perhaps not, but you have to admit they're not quite normal either. Unfortunately, no-one did... It seems nobody ever bothers with photographing any of the best stunts, I suppose they're too spontaneous for that. Sounds great. So, do you have to bring dates for the prom, or do you just go on your own? *Well, they can ensure you against the human element, but sometimes, that's just cruel, and there are other sides to learning than knowing detailed facts. *Nope, I'm not sure of very much, and it bothers me. *Not really, I suppose I should, but never mind. *It's quite fun, yes. Looks good, too... *******

Ahh, no more than that. I can understand it, but if you can get in where you want to go, then there's no point in worrying about it.

It was just all too predictable (snort?). I don't.

Yes?

No diminutives? Absolutely none?

*Not too difficult. I've also got an overactive imagination. *They do, but old peacocks tend to tolerate me. The peahens always hate me as a rule, however. *I wouldn't try too hard, now... *They're not entirely normal, but they're not all that strange. Well, maybe that's because a lot of mine are similar. I hate how whenever you need a camera, there's never one about. Convention says yes, but I've never been big on conventions so I'm not. I didn't like any of the people who asked me enough to spend three or four hours with, Dorothy just broke up with her boyfriend, no one would ask Jenn, so we're doing a Girls' Club. I'm still getting the guilt treatment from Eric (he's terrible at it and only manages to sound like a sick rat) about not going with him, but there's something about going to two formals that makes me nervous especially when he always manages to pop the 'I love you and you're beautiful' thing at the most inopportune times. *rollseyes**Yes, but other methods of testing an individual's knowledge and intellect that aren't standardized take more money and more time...both of which the government feels it has too little of. Interesting how they always manage to spend it on things of lesser importance. Besides, I can do the detailed facts part, it's just the obscure reasoning. *Well, what are you sure of? *I'm trying to figure out if I've read too deeply into what you've typed sometimes. *It looks good?*************

Well, there is reason to be concerned because they might raise the bar and cut of my chance of being accepted. I really refuse to take the test again, so I shouldn't worry, should I?

*rollseyes* Okay, so what was I thinking of saying here instead of this?

Do you get even more frustrated when you can't figure out why you're frustrated?

None at all, my name is too complicated for that.

*Ah, yes, but imagination is good... *Ah, yes... I wonder why they hat you so. Do you produce some sort of bird-enraging hormone or something? *Why not? *Hehe, yes, you're prolly right about that. They're not really weird, but they give you a hint. Ahh... I thought you said Dot had found the "perfect guy"? Oh God, I hate it when people do that. *You've got a point, but perhaps they should just give up? Or prioritize differently... I don't believe in IQ anyway. The obscure reasoning would be the only real test of intelligence, but it's unsafe too. Obscure facts would only be a test of your aptitude for remembering things *Usually, more or less how I'm feeling about someone or something... That's about it. *Well, you do that some times, yes. And then you mock me, or you go all panicky and devote a page to me in that diary of yours... *It can look good, if you do it in a nice, smooth way. *******

Well, if it can't be solved, then there's no use worrying. You'll get in, I'm sure of it...

I told you I don't know!

Yes?

No name is too complicated for diminutives. In fact, it's the complicated names that need diminutives the most.

*Too much, however, is dangerous. *I think it might be related to the reason I kill electronics, especially watch batteries. *You can't avoid being strange. *She had, but they decided to end the boyfriend/girlfriend titling as he's leaving next year and is very preoccupied. Basically, they decided that they were mutually too busy to have any sort of relationship but that they will remain friends. It was kind of sad, but it'll beat having to worry about it, I'd imagine. Oh, it just makes me want to smack him...a lot. I hate best friends. *Ah, but if they gave up, then there would be anarchy. I honestly don't see how quantitative comparison can be considered intelligence, but 'tever. Besides, everyone would be in college if they let go of testing. *That's it? Hmm, most curious. *I am not really mocking you, I'm teasing you in a...Stacyish way. It's not a diary! Diary brings to mind pink frilly things with brass locks and loopy keys. Icky, icky, icky. Mine are lovely pressboard covers with heavy-duty metal binding covered with a collage of pretty pictures that have been coated with gobs of ModPodge. I resent that; I do NOT get panicky. Hmph. *You really manage to sound incredibly silly sometimes. **********

You also said I'd get my forty points...

You do.

Doesn't it drive you mad?

Yeah, well, mine's an old and complicated name, and has no diminutive.

*Dangerous, but also quite handy. *You are NOT telling me that you think birds and electronics have anything in common? *True, but there's a difference between looking strange and looking like "a complete and total loon" *Ahh. I see... I'm surprised she hasn't harassed me yet...* True, but at the same time, what's the point, anyway? Shouldn't there be a more humane system. It isn't intelligence, it's adaption. *It's the only thing you can really BE certain about, in my opinion. Everything else is sooner or later discovered to be incorrect. It's allright to be 99% certain, but never SURE. *Whatever, is journal allright, then? Hehe, well, what do you call it when you go all fussy, can't sleep, feel that something is dreadfully wrong, and end up writing 27 pages in your journal? *Yes, it's the Norwegianness... You are really the first person who has ever pointed that out to me... ********

Yes, well, that's the sort of thing one says. Perhaps I should just shut up, then?

How should I possibly know without you knowing?

Up to a point, and then I acknowledge it, and it usually calms down.

Hmmm, we'll see about that.

*True, it offers hours of endless amusement. *They ARE. This damned crow has been pecking around outside my windows for the past three days, and it's driving me absolutely MAD! I got my pistol out and was going to kill it, but I found that I...I *couldn't.* I was going to shoot it, but I couldn't! AAGH! I got back inside, sat down at the table and cried. I'm going absolutely crazy. My mother asked me what was wrong and I told her about the freakin' bird. She looked at me and had the gall that it was an admirer trying to communicate with me. She learned this from some guy she lived in during colleges (*rollseyes*), and now I CAN'T kill the damned thing. *poutpoutpout* *Sure there is, but whassa difference? *I'm not. I told her that you are married. *I don't know. I think it sucks. *I'm not sure that everyone can be completely aware of their feelings towards people. *Journal is grand. *narrowseyes* I do NOT get fussy! It's called...er....worrying? *No, it's not the Norwegianness. I'm the first person who's ever pointed out that you can sound extremely silly? Maybe that's because it's terribly rude...*********

Yes, that would be good.

Well, you're supposed to be the rational one.

Hm.

Will we, now?

*Yup, speaking of which, you didn't have a weird hallucination yesterday, did you? * Well, you seem to have inherited some of my pacifism. And admirer... hmm...*slight mockface* *Looking weird is a slightly lighter version. *Why on earth did you tell her that? I was loking forward to winding her up... *There should be. It does, royally. *Nope, they can't but they can at least know a little bit. It's all there to be felt. *Good, journal, then. Yeah, whatever... *I think it is, I'm not as used to the language, so I sound terribly silly. I would've said it differently in Norwegian. Yes, I suppose it is. *******

Well, I won't.

Yes, but I'm not a mind-reader.

Yes, you're right, that didn't make any sense. I dunno, really, perhaps I just ignore it, or deal with it. I know it doesn't usually bother me too much.

Hm, yes. I'd have to hear your name a few more times in order to come up with one. It's going to have to be incredibly silly and childish, methinks. Oh, well, you will cope.

*I had this really weird...thing. Not hallucination, but just weird. I was sitting in math and had this weird *thing.* I was blue and talking in red. It wasn't a hallucination because I've had those before. It was just incredibly WEIRD with a capital K. *No, it's the way the damned crow looked at me. You have no idea how incredibly frustrating that was. Crying for two hours because my mother comes up with some crazy nonsense that some Greek guy told her when they lived together does NOT sound reasonable. I do, however, feel a lot better today. *Okay. *smirks* *She's really mellow and doesn't wind very much. *Royally. I love royal icing. *Or thought. I think half of the time you desire yourself to feel a certain way. *Yes. I am not fussy! I'd always be primping and fluttering if I were fussy. I do not primp and I flitter. Hmph, yet again. *No, I think you'd sound silly if you said it in Norwegian. It's not a bad thing, it's just a silly thing. I am rude. **********

I know, that's what's so sad. *rollseyes*

There wouldn't be anything in my mind to read, anyway, have no fear.

Actually, it made sense, that was just a thinking hm. Really the only times I cry are when I'm intensely frustrated or angry. Weird.

*wail* It's back.

Allright, we'll have a voice convo on MSN...

*I had a hallucination somewhat along the same lines, but mine was a hallucination. How's that for weird? *Ahh, the lovely innocent look, was it? That's good. I'm feeling a bit odd right now, for no reason at all... *Was that an "agreed" or an "I'll just say okay and let you keep your illusions"? *Damn. Ah, well... *What on earth is royal icing? *That could be true. But then you usually end up feeling that way, at least for a while. *Then what are you? *I don't think it would sound that silly in Norwegian, to be honest. It's all about the choice of words, not to mention who you're talking to. Yeah, well, so am I. *******

Get used to it!

Indeed. So what were you going to write here?

It didn't make sense to me in retrospect. I think it's mostly true, but I can't always do it. Well, it's there, what can one do but accept it and hope in time to find out what's causing it?

The crow, or the icky feeling?

This'll be fun.

*That's incredibly weird. I enjoyed mine and I had it again last night, except it was longer. I find it fascinating that I was blue and communicating through red. *No, it was that evil 'haha, you can't get me' look. Blasted thing looked so smug! No reason? *The latter, of course. *You get a point for thinking of it. *It's that lovely hard icing that is soooooooo sweet. *Kind of like lying to yourself. *Stacy? *Maybe so, maybe no. It made sense, it just was so...simple and clean sounding. 'Snot a bad thing, mind you, just different. So we agree that rude can be a good thing. **********



Want the truth?

Throw tantrums?

Both. *pouts*

Indeed...

*Yup. That was indeed extremely weird. Just too weird. *Sheesh, why couldn't you shoot it, then? You haven't been infected by my pacifistic tendencies, have you? Not that I could see, no. *Then you're now going to have to provide a convincing counter argument... *Thank you, O great master of the talliy boards... *Never even heard of it. *Tricking yourself/willing yourself into feeling it. *I was referring to something more specific about your character. Does the question mark mean that you're not sure if you're Stacy anymore? *Ahh, well, that's definately something about the Norwegianishness... Rude makes you grow. *******

Aww, for pete's sake!

Yup.

I don't do that. Leastways not unless it's absolutely neccesary.

Awww...

Hmph.

*Aww, you didn't enjoy it even a wee bittie? *I couldn't and I don't know why. My mother's newest theory is that it's my grandfather watching over the spot where my grandmother is going to be living. That should give me incentive to shoot it. I haven't! I'm American, and we're all warmongers...grr. *I have to provide a convincing counter argument that you're entirely idealistic in a sweet, worldly way? Nah. *You're welcome, though I wish that you would keep my points because I can never remember them. *Never? It's mmm-mm good. *Sounds like stupidity, but that's me. *I am Stacy; I didn't drink enough of the punch to forget that. Hmm, specific about my character. I'd say brooding, but that'd place me on the too emo end of the spectrum. I'd say that I am eggish. *No, language barrier is not an excuse. I think you just manage to sound silly. Now, THAT's a new one!**********

I win.

I don't remember.

So the truth is revealed: he throws tantrums.