h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm now going to bump this thread to the top of my userpage, where I can see it...

Ah, well.

*I suppose we're a bit different on a good many things. Maybe so, maybe no. Damn, now I'm singing. *I know you didn't so stop apologizing! *waitsforpredictedresponse* MYST I've beaten several times, but I'm still working on the others. *Because I love to knead, very soothing, and I thought it was like bread. It's not, and my mother didn't know any better. *Is it? I'd try it, but I have enough luck trying to self-destruct as it is. *I don't have a problem with the calculation parts, no worries, it's just what to convert to that confuses me. *Woops, I forgot all about that one...*Want another? Sure ya do! Two muffins are in an oven together. One looks at the other and says, 'Boy, it's hot in here!' The other gasps and cries out, 'Agh! A talking MUFFIN!' *collapsesinmirth* *Quantum mechanics. Dorothy wrote on your picture today referring to you as the 'Norwegian bastard' and the 'sickeningly smart one', so I'll agree. ********

It seemed like the thing to say at the time, I'm sure.

Bad time for this, bad time. There never is a good time, though, is there?

Theoretically, you should.

I feel so bad, but she's just as bouncy and dumb as ever. Gee willikers, her eye looks awful.

Yes. Damn it.

*I would think so. It's highly probable, no? Why? *Alright (HAH, you thought I was going to say "sorry", didn't you?). The others... would that be Riven and MYST 3? *Ah, yes. That would explain it. *It is. The only one who actually suffers directly because of it is you, and you are the cause of it in the first place. I'd prefer it if you didn't self-destruct just yet. *Ah, yes, I suppose I get that for free, since I've been taught the metric system in the first place. *Did you, now? *Ah, but they're so fun. Completely chaotic and nonsensical. How can one not love them? Why on earth did she write that? She's barely talked to me, and already she calls me a bastard?********

Hehe. No reason, but you didn't want to be the one to kill the sentence.

No, there's never a good time for it, but I suppose that's just the way it is. So much for being cool and rational, eh?

No, I like you. If I disliked you, I wouldn't be talking to you.

Well, that's good. Is her eye getting any better?

Trying to get the last word, are you?

*Yes, it is, isn't it? Because a song reminds me of that. *You would have had I not have said that I was waiting for it, wouldn't you? Yeppers. Riven has me entirely stumped, but I'm too stubborn to get the cheats for it. *And then there was the 'boil it until it's jerky' routine. That didn't work out too well. *I figured as much. I do try, I do. *They introduce it to us in about...eighth grade. The useless system is exactly that, and you're the lucky ones. *Apparently so. *They're terrific. Almost as good as the morbid ones... They're not choatic and they make sense. Hmph, he dares to insult the silly jokes. It's not an insult, dearheart.*************

Was that it? I don't even remember.

I guess not and it makes me entirely too frustrated for reasons that I'm not even completely aware of. You're better than I am, at least. *shrugs*

I talk to people I dislike every day, but I know you don't dislike me. I was just saying that, theoretically, you shouldn't.

It's just bruised. *coversface* Oh, my poor little baby. *laughs* I feel awful about it.

Just keeping it alive for as long as possible. Call it an experiment in mindless chit-chat.

*Yup. Naha... What song is that? *Not really, I had seen the error of my ways. Ah, yes, that would be typical, it's the same with me. If you can't solve the game, then it's your problem. *That is also the sort of thing I haven't tried... *Yes, well, do you agree, or do we agree to disagree yet again? I know you do. *How extremely odd tradition is, eh? *I would've thought that it was such a major character trait in me you couldn't possibly forget it... *Exactly. They're sort of sensical, yet they defy normal reasoning, which is what i love about them. Did I insult them? Alright, hmmm... I wonder what the context was. ********

I don't know. It's lost in the mists of the previous page.

It's a bit of the same with me, but I can still manage it, by convincing myself that we will meet at some point. Maybe so, yes, but perhaps not in all situations?

Yeah, well, I'm different from most people both in theory and real life.

Awww. You feel awful about it, yet you laugh?

I think this is the line that we discuss experimentation on. I can handle mindless chit-chat. I'm down and funky with that. Tubular, gee. *nodshead*

*I think it was an old Billy Joel song. I'm not quite sure. *Good, good, it was getting annoying. It takes the fun out of it if you use the cheats. Then again, I enjoy racking up $75 bazillion in Civilization, turning off the cheats, and beating the game in two minutes. *It is. I'm not sure why we even use the useless system, because we only use it home life. *I agree...this time. *Well, I forget because it's so prevalent in myself. Or have you forgotten as well?? *Okay, I forgive you. You'll find out soon enough, I'm sure. As soon as I finish coloring and decide if I'm going to write a follow-up to the letter I wrote Sunday...then again, maybe I should just write a follow-up and skip the first one?**********

I can deal with that. CAKE sure uses the vibraslap a lot, don't they? I've been listening to every album and am amazed.

We've got time, right? That's quite possible as I'm sure we each have our own stregths.

Well, it's a laugh of relief. I thought I'd permanently damaged her eye, and I'm so glad it's not that I laugh. It's kind of like crying because you're so happy. I also tend to laugh when I'm scared spitless.

You THINK it's the line we discuss experimentation on? It's lovely, when there's something you wish to be distracted from.

*I certainly don't know. *"yeah, sorry" Nah, I won't apolgize, then. It does. Well, it's sort of amusing, but it's more fun to build yourself up gradually in the long run. It just takes a lot more work and thinking. *Did you just kill the sentence about pasta? I had pasta today... Mmmmmm *I think it's just a remnant of something old that you can't get rid of because people are scared of changes. *Do you, now? Amazing! *I haven't forgotten that, no. *Thank you. Hehe, well, good luck in deciding. Why can't you post the letter now, though? Is it essential that you have to wait until the other letter arrives? ********

It's the sort of thing one doesn't notice until one sits down and really _listens_ for it. It's amazing, and I do love that instrument.

In a way, we do, yes. That's the good thing about life.

I see... Well, that's good, at least.

Well, I do think I remember us discussing my social experiments, but I'm not 100% sure. Yes, I actually think...even though my little brain is mush. What do you want to be distracted from?

*Never heard of Billy Joel? Had a splendid voice before drugs and booze. *Bite me. Agreed, then you can actually be proud that you kicked the arse of sixteen computerized countries. *I didn't intentionally. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention? Did you? What type? *Change is good; the useless system is exactly that. REFORM!!! *For once, I agree, yes. *There you have it. We're both so close to perfect that it's frightening. *I can post the letter now, but I haven't finished coloring your last picture. I'd imagine that the blasted thing isn't going to arrive if it hasn't arrived by now and that makes me mad. Well, which do you want? I've decided. Is the anticipation getting to you?? **********

It's pretty nifty. I do have a question about the thing, however. You hold it by the metal loop that holds the little ball part and the little flattened cone thing, right? What do you hit?

In a way we do?! What? We have time.

What's good? That I'm not laughing in sick satisfaction that I hurt one of my children?

Yes, that's right, we've done that before on this sentence. Nothing, really. I'm perfectly happy at the moment, but mindless drivel is comfy, nonetheless.

*Of course I've heard of Billy Joel. I just can't tell you which of his songs those lyrics came from. *See, this is the sort of situation where I would have pounced on you and tickled you to death. Precisely, it's rather satisfying, in a very sad way. *Well, it just disappeared, all of a sudden. Yes, I had pasta wit a lovely cheese and pesto sauce. I think it was penne, but I can't remember *It is, but people are very reluctant to give up old standards. Such as the qwerty keyboard... **eyeswidewithwonder* *Hmmm... I'm not even close to perfect, and the concept of being perfect is extremely scary. *I see. It's kinda annoying yes, it's not supposed to take this long, but my postcard took a while too, 'member? Yes, well, I'm quite annoyed about that first letter going off on a trip of its own without telling me, to be honest. ********

There are two ways of making it play, you either hit the ball, or you can put two fingers inside the cone, and put your palm over the ball, push them towards each other, and then quickly pull your hand out. The last method makes the longest and most lasting sound.

Yes, we do, I'd just wish we didn't have to wait. Ah, well. Life, eh?

Good to hear that she's alright again. Were you laughing in sick satisfaction.

Yes, that's what I just said, but I'll let you say it, too. I like mindless drivel and we both seem to be stupendous at it.

*I don't know, really. I'm glad to hear you've heard of him. I just had a blow out with homonyms so I'm kind of scrambled. *I would have thought so. You are ticklish, right? I'm glad you added that 'in a very sad way'...I'm still laughing about it. *Oh, well, it appears to be back. Mmmmm, sounds absolutely lovely. I had some alfredo the other day, but I added too much flour to it because I wanted to eat it hot. *Hey! Whassamattawit the qwerty keyboard? *You're going to be in for a hell of a lot of tickling eventually. *Here he goes off on his literal tour. On your right you have the... *Well, your letter is sealed and ready to go. It's not very long, but you'll at least be able to say you got mail. Yes, but if we both sent them out at around the same time, they should arrive within a week of each other. I'm thinking that that stupid woman told me the wrong postage amount. She didn't even consult a chart or anything and I *know* she can't have many people sending letters to Norway. Really, I would like to take a cross-Atlantic tour for the price of postage once in awhile. What's with letters this day? No respect, I tell you. ********

Hmmm, most curious. I've never paid much attention to it, but now I'm going to do nothing but watch people play the vibraslap. *groans* I forgot all about a jazz concert tonight.

Well, think of it this way: if we meet and don't like each other, then we'll regret ever meeting. If we end up enjoying each other, then it'll have been worth waiting. Fun stuff, isn't it?

I wasn't and you know it, you twit.

bump.

Yes, I was confirming it. Yes, most people fall asleep when I do that, but you, for some reason, don't.

*I wonder... I can be ignorant, but not THAT ignorant. *Yes, I'm ticklish, and I'm hoping you are too. People who aren't ticklish are so boring. Entertainment... just the way we want it. *It does indeed. I revived it. It was very good, yes. Pesto is my absolute favourite pasta sauce. *It's designed to be ineffective. Which is why they designed the dvorak keyboard standard (and to think that Dvorak got a keyboard named after him!!!), but it didn't go down well with most people, because they were already used to qwerty. *As are you... *Huh? *Well, your fare was similar to what I paid. Well, your father works with the airforce, right? Doesn't he get cheap flights? Anyway, I suppose the time it takes to send it depends on flight times, delays in different centrals, and so on. One should still think that the letter should arrive BEFORE the dancing mats that reached the country two days ago... ********

It's an interesting device, yes. Plus, you don't have to worry about the rhythm or the pitch of it... Awww...

I suppose you're right. I don't think we could really dislike each other, could we? I don't find it very likely, at least. Extremely amusing, yes.

Yes, I know it, and I know you know it, so I figured I could still say it for the sake of teasing you.

That's confirmed then. Well, I enjoy it. I'm actually surprised you put up with my chatter.

That's confirmed then. Well, I enjoy it. I'm actually surprised you put up with my chatter.

*I wasn't saying you were ignorant, but one never knows, do they? *I'm devilishly ticklish. People who aren't ticklish are missing out on a lot of fun, though I hate being tickled. My father is providing the entertainment of the day. He just defied gravity and every law of inertia. *I don't think I have a favorite pasta sauce, but I do dearly love pesto. Wow, somehow that got the Eagles' 'Take it Easy' stuck in my head. *Are the keys on a Dvorak keyboard arranged the same as a qwerty keyboard? *I'd tickle myself, but that'd be really too weird. *You took the joke literally...and I think on purpose. *I think we'll have to wait and see. The air travel offered to civilians is not government run, and Daddy travels on government planes for TDYs. What type of shipping did you get for the dancing mats, though? I did standard delivery, not overnight.*********

I now want one. I'd even practice it. Stupid outfit must be completely dedoghaired. I hate wearing black and marroon. I think it'll be pretty good because Big Mike and the Bootie-poppa's will be there.

We could dislike each other, but I certainly hope not. I don't exactly put up a facade for this type of thing, so I wouldn't think so.

Twit.

Why shouldn't I? It's highly entertaining, and you're one of the few people I know of who enjoys this sort of thing.

*Hard to tell some times, I'll admit that, yes. *Yes! Thank god. I don't particularly enjoy being tickled, but it's a great ice breaker. Yes, I saw that. It was absolutely incredible. *Pesto is lovely. Any other beloved sauces? How you managed that, I've got no idea, *Nope. Have you wondered why we call it 'qwerty'? Have a good look at the first line of letters on your keyboard. Dvorak was named in a similar way. *No, it doesn't work too well either. *Ah, yes. Well, I like doing that from time to time. *Alright. Ah, yes, of course, I should've thought of that. Standard UPS. We don't get overnight shipping to Norway.********

It's not too expensive, and it's so ridiculously useless and fun. Awww. Ah, well, have fun!

I would hope not too. Neither do I. I am myself, in all ways I can think of.

Oh, so offended...

Well, I can get very irritating if I get into hyper-chipmunk mode and no one decides to stop me. I guess I'll say the same thing for you. I chatter to Eric, but I'm usually telling him what an idiot he is. It's nice to be able to blather to someone smarter than I am.

*I didn't intend it as an insult, but you never know. *I shouldn't have told you that. It's a great icebreaker? Don't tell me that when you first meet someone and they won't talk you tickle them... I'll have to take a picture of his...shop for you. He's got over 200 casters in a drawer that he'll never ever use but that he'll never ever throw away. *Pesto is lovely. Hmm, I'm thinking. I don't really have a favorite, but I do hate that awful white sauce that tastes like scalded milk. I've had it at several different places and I can't remember the name. I'm not sure how I got the Eagle's out of pesto, either. *Yes, dear, I know why it's called a qwerty keyboard. I think they teach you that in even the most basic computer classes. I thought you said the Dvorak was named after someone? Or did the guy make a keyboard with his name in a line so that he could have it named after him? *I've never tried, but that's kind of creepy, even for me. *I don't think you realize you did it this time, however. *titter* *Standard UPS or USPS? Surely you do? If I can ship something overnight to Malaysia that gets there two days late, you can get overnight to Norway.************

I'll have to look into getting one of me little own. Actually, I had a blast. I got to play Save Every Band Director's Ass three times. I'm blaming all of the fun I had on you.

*slam* I'm going to start singing Avenue Q songs shortly if I'm not careful. Did you read that sentence before you wrote it? It came out sounding so incredibly cute that I won't even bother to say anything...oh, wait, I just did. *sigh*

As you rightfully should be. Hmph.

Ha! Now this is so cool that I'm going to put on my glasses to watch. There are bugs hovering around and crawling upon my windows at night when I haven't bothered to close the drapes because of the light, right? Well, now that the temperatures are up, treefrogs are also on them eating the insects. There are about four on the window closest to my desk and only one on the other window in my room and I'm watching them eat all of the little critters. I'll have to set up a camera and slow-mo them. Daddy and I did that with hummingbirds so we could see their tongues.

Hehe, well, I still haven't fully experienced that, but from my eperience, I think I could manage it. At lesat you're down-to-earth. Smarter than you are? Hmmm, I actually thought it was the other way around.

*I figured you didn't, and I'll admit that I might come across as extremely ignorant at times... *No, you shouldn't. Well, in a way, but only with certain people. It depends on the situation, but it's great for waking up tired and grumpy people... Well, you have to see what kind of a person you're dealing with, of course. Then he's even worse than me at not throwing away stuff... *Would that be carbonara? No, probably not. Doesn't sound very nice, but I don't think I've tried it. I'm amazed by that ability. *Hehe, alright, just had to check. Well, dvorak is named after the first line of the keyboard, I believe. At pure coincidence, this is also the name of well-known a russian composer. *Sounds a bit sad, yes... *No, you could perhaps say that. I sort of saw the joke, but then forgot that I had taken it literally... *UPS. Is your normal postal service called USPS? Well, I didn't get to choose, really. I suppose I could have, but the webshop wouldn't allow me. Have you got friends in Malaysia? ********

Have a look at the web. I suppose you could find webshops on your own, but most Norwegian percussionites order from something called "lone star percussion". Great! Yeah, I saw you've sent me a long email about it, so I'll just read that.

Huh? Why are you slamming? Hmm, I'm thinking I might not want to know. Ah, well, I can live with cute. I didn't read it before I wrote it, no. Should I have?

I win!

How extremely fascinating. I think I'm moving...

As long as you're smart enough to stop me and calm me down, you'd be fine. Hmm, doubtful that I'm smarter than you.

*As do I. 'Why does it matter if spellcheck is in mandarin?' *Too late now, I surrrpose. It is great for waking up tired and grumpy people. I've tried it with Bonnie and only got scratched three times as opposed to sixteen. I don't think I'd be able to go up and just tickle a person I'd never met. He's awful. Dreadful. *Nope, not that. I wouldn't go out searching for it, that's for certain. Icky. As am I at times. *Ha! That's why it was familiar. Duuurrrrr, to me. *Egads, I'm getting images of someone tickling themselves now...muahahahaha. *No, I could perhaps say that? *Yes, USPS (United States Postal Service) is our government post. UPS (United Postal Service) is above ground delivery that's a private company. They have huge brown trucks and have funny brown coveralls. A girl I was friends with had missionary parents and they lived in Malaysia for about four years.**********

I've heard of that, but a lot of people here order from...Zildijan? I can't spell it. Yes, it is rather long, isn't it?

Frustration. You probably should have, but it was cute, nevertheless.

*sigh*

You don't get treefrogs, do you? They're amazing little critters. They can live in refrigerators for quite awhile.

I will assess the situation, and act accordingly. I think I'll manage. I suppose it doesn't really matter. We get along well, for reasons I have yet to fathom.

*Have I ever said THAT? It doesn't matter, provided that you write perfectly, and don't bother with it. *Yes, you are doomed. Then again, we've both got that hold over each other, haven't we? People love it when they can pretend to be angry at someone. I don't do it to people I've never met, but it depends on the person. Ah, well, sounds like a fascinating person. *I certainly won't try and find it. It must be very entertaining. *Yes, it should be familiar to you... *Damnit, it doesn't work. *You could say that I didn't think of it that time. But it would only be half the truth... *Ah, yes. I've seen them. They send it by the postal service in Norway, though.********

Well, Zildjan is a cymbal producer, and I think they also produce some drumsticks. It's possible that you could order from them, I don't know...

Why? Well, if it was cute, then it doesn't matter too much.

I would start dancing, but that would just make you laugh.

Nope, we don't. I've heard of them, of course. You've TRIED putting them in your fridge? Sheesh!

I'm sure you will. You seem to be very adaptable. I'm not quite sure why we get along so well, but I'm not going to be questioning it.

*No, but *I've* said that. *I can just see it. We meet and spend the first four hours tickling each other. *laughsandlaughsandlaughs* Pretend anger is more fun than most things. He's interesting, to say the least. *I wouldn't. It is, really. You could lock me in a room for hours with nothing and I'd find some way to engage myself. I can provide myself endless hours of entertainment. *I'd snap my teeth at you, but the affect would be lost. *You didn't try, did you? *Bah, you're useless. *Hmm, I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we? Speaking of which, I need to go and post this second letter.***********

Is it? *shrugs* I don't know anything about it. What I'll do is go into the percussion stash tomorrow and look at our selection. I cannot believe that I'm considering buying a vibraslap.

No, but I think we lost the entire idea behind it. Oh, well, it was cute.

Aww, you're supposed to laugh when you dance. If you don't laugh, you should cry and you're not supposed to cry when you're happy.

We've got millions of them. We get green ones with white underbellies and feet and tan ones with yellow underbellies and feet. No, but we have a small drink cooler on our back porch and the critters somehow find ways to get inside.