h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, tomorrow my son and his friend will eventually get the keys for, and access to, their new flat. It was planned for Monday last week but had been postponed.

This wasn't too bad, because son #2 was on a school trip for the week, so son #1 had the room (and his brother's PC) to himself until his brother's return on Friday night.
However, he did all he could to make his parting easy for me: he was totally uncooperative. I know this was a reaction to the knowledge that his presence here was unwanted by his dad and brother, but it was me who had to bear the consequences.
It was small things, like when I asked him to bring the waste down (we live on the second floor), or not to drink so much milk because I couldn't buy as much as he was used to due to not using the car, which he refused to do. Or when he got up this morning, he decided that bread was 'nothing to eat' and fried chicken fillets for himself - leaving the kitchen a complete mess. His standard reply was: I don't care, I don't live here anymore.
Trouble is, neither his dad nor his brother care, it's not them who do the shopping/cleaning etc, but me.
Yes, I have to admit that I sighed a breath of relief when he told me that they would definitely get the keys for the flat tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I wouldn't want him here, but I really can do without this behaviour.

On the other hand, we spent a really nice couple of hours playing scrabble yesterday. I haven't played the German version for ages, and I was surprised to see that it contains umlauts. To my relief it didn't contain any ß.

Right from the start, I was stuck with on Ö and a C. Now I'm not too bad at scrabble in English, but my mind went completely blank for German words.
Unsurprisingly, my son won the game.
We had a good time, sitting here with the Duden (our equivalent to the OED), looking up words.
I'm certainly going to miss moments like this.

Maybe I can get son #2 to play a board game with his old mum every now and then.

Oh, Bel,

How sad. You know I had a real bust up with my eldest when he moved out. Like yours, totally unco-operative and he was prepared to leave our house in a total shambles, knowing I had no-one to help me straighten up and move furniture etc. as my other half was very unwell at the time.

It was most upsetting, but it passed, and this will I am sure. He will probably be totally different when he realises he hasn't got a built in skivvy to look after him any more

I hope Monday goes according to plan, and things go smoothly. It will make such a difference.

Take care

Websailor

Thank you, Webbie. It is somehow comforting to see that others went through the same or similar.

I have offered to help with the move tomorrow, as it's my day off anyway. There isn't much in the way of furniture to move anyway, so it should all go well.

Oh, I think it is part of the process of growing up and leaving the 'nest' - after all if they were all sweet and loving it would break our hearts wouldn't it whereas it they argue and turn awkward or indifferent we breathe a sigh of relief instead

Perhaps life at home will be easier too. Husbands see sons as 'competition' for your attention and they get jealous, though they would never admit it in a million years

In the animal world parents kick their offspring out quite unceremoniously so I guess we are too soft!



Websailor

You're probably right, but I guess I'll have forgotten the negative aspects all too soon when he's no longer around - it's like this our memory works for some odd reason.

Hmmm, that kind of behaviour got my sister a bowl of gooseberries on the head

Did it help any?

Briefly, yes

I only moved out when my parents moved and I was in my 3rd semester at Uni, but I was paying them rent and mostly coming and going as I pleased by then anyway.

Well, he was coming and going as he pleased, too. But he always left a mess on going.

i never tolerated my sons to behave the way i behaved when i was their age - so they didn't

which only goes to show, that hypocrisy is not as bad as people usually make it

I wish my son would behave the way I behaved when I was his age.

Oh dear - I am sorry for you. All I can say is that memory IS kind and I am sure that it won't seem so traumatic in a while.

Look on the positive side as well. One source of conflict has been removed and your relationship with your son will doubtless improve with being away from it.

This reminds me of me being the horrid teenager I was, I was selfish, obstreperous, very messy and not only thought I knew everything, I *knew* I did and I could certainly have been an awful lot kinder to my mum who didn't deserve the contempt I treated her with at times.

Funnily enough, living on my own and doing a serious amount of growing up more or less cured me of this...and you know the rest.

It'll all come good, you set them free so's they can come back again

I'd appreciate you reminding me of this in a couple of years from now when I'll no doubt have my own son in a strangle hold

Mrs Bojangles,

I think many of us could make a similar confession, though in my case it was six of one and half a dozen of the other!

What a nice, generous post

Websailor

Thank you.

My relationship with my son hasn't suffered - yet, but it probably would have had this gone on for much longer.

Don't worry, Bo, I will remind you in a few years to come.

Hehe, well, obviously it wasn't *all* my fault

What do you mean: it wasn't *all* your fault? Do you blame 2legs?

Damn straight!

Actually, I dread to think what might have become of me had I known 2legs when I was a teen

personally i have kept his existence a secret for my kids

2legs wasn't yet born when you were a teen.