h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

not to worry mate, I'll take care of you and will watch your back

Good Morning Ledgers-Dont worry when el Hombres after me i always keep my back to the wall..thanks for the back-up me owld mate.I've just had me fried egg sarnie and me mug of Earl Gray and i've just opened the owld bed room window and shouted as loud as i can GOOOD MORNING WOOOORLD!!! a couple of guys passin' made the 2 fingered victory sign at me and shouted summit about OFF!! but i could not hear them properly.Yep,Ledgers i'm as happy as a pig in sh.t this morning weather great everythings great.OOOOOOH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MOOOOORNING OOOOOOH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAAAAY yep Ledgers its a great day for stickin' a cucumber through the owld Vicars letterbox and SHOUTIN' THE MARTIANS HAVE LANDED!! must see yeh.

sweet dude IT dies seems like a fun day for ya. I'll have one tomorrow, going to the zooo with a pretty lady. Should be one of the best days this week.

Hope you have a good day out dude....dont stand to near the chimps dude because theres always one dude with bad eyesight and he could start slingin' bananas in your direction.And keep an eye on them there Baboons becauses them spam @rses do give a sh.t where they sh.t.

dude, it was fun. Polar bears kicked ass but for some reason they seemed hot. As for baboons, they were over fed by the visitors. Those "No Feeding" signs never work.

Hi Dude-Pleased to hear you enjoyed yehself them polar bears stoick out like a sore thumb with a bandage on it you can see them polar bears c.ming a mile away except in the arctic of course.The reckon that nlion sh.ts good for the garden because it keeps the dogs and cats off it..well i suppose thats right in a way cos you never see dogs and cats hanging with the lions on the discovery channel do yeh. Hell dude theres that again

what sup with you and them spiders? got a fobia?

Morning Dude-I got kinda p.ssed off with them in Kenya..so what i generally do is stomp onum...but the guys here play h.ll they reckon they're good for the owld garden.Weather here great Dude ...just bl..dy great so i'm whippin' down to Redcar for sum Ice cream and cotton candy..see yeh later dude.

you can't kill spyders, they bring luck. Get some strawberry icecream

Ok i'll luck out for them.

good job

Yep your write Ledgers-old chap

me write? about what? For the past week I've been drunk only once, played strip billiard only once, and street raced only once also. So nothing much there is to talk about here dude

Nope Ledgers-You lead a boring life old chap i think the best thing you can do Legers-old chap move somewhere were you see a bit of life.Get out of the sticks and into the bricks..i'm giving you that advice Ledgers-old chap and i've done the opposite i moved to the sticks.But i like this deliverence sorta life..just a pickin' and a grinnin' that owld cadjo music sure gets yer foot tappin.YAHOOOO MISS ELLE-YOU SURE CAN MOVE.

hehe. Sorry to say this, but I got two words for ya: old chap I love the energy and hopes of a city life. Can't wait until I'll move somewhere big" Moscow, London, New York, Tokyo. By the age of 50 I might move back to the suburbs and start building motorcycles

Good idea old chap i mean at 50 you have to do something with your hands besides the obvious.I'm pleased to see you've got your life mapped out there old timer...you keep up the good work and tell me when your sellin' your first bike and i'll buy it off yeh.

are you calling me old? I was refering to you my friend I'm 20 and still kicking. As for my bike, you can have my as soon as I'll get one

Not me Ledgers-Old chap its your imagination workin' overtime yeh know i would not insult yeh.Hey!Legders-I gotta tell yeh this i took this bird out lastnight..y'know to make i good impression i took her to this new Chinese restaurant.A proper place y'know what i mean so we sits down..er i'd booked the table anyway the guys gives me the menu and everythings written in Chinese.So she's lookin' at the menu with a puzzled look on her face and she said,"Douglas-I dont know what to order i cant understant it" so i said," let me order for the two of us"and she said,"ok Douglas".So i called this Chinese waiter over and said,Could we have two portions of Qing Yuan,please",well this guy looked at me and said,"Sir!Thats the Manager".Ledgers i didn't know where to put meself....but i think i got out of the situation well because i said "i'm only kidding you fool".Anyway ledgers old chap we still managed to have a goonight.

Good job dude Something of that kind happened to a friend of my. He was out on a first date with this pretty lady and they went to a comedy club. Everything went well until the napkin, by and accident, was placed on top of the candle (they had little candles on each table). Of course the napkin went up in flames, and my friend in panic took the first liquid thing and splashed it on the napkin. That liquid turned out to be some good ol' hard drink, and the flame just bursted out. Fortunately, he also had a water glass so everything turned out ok

Yep Ledgers-Old Chap its what we call here Murphys Law (what can go wrong will go wrong).Weather here kinda crap dull but warm..theres about fifty Blackbirds sat on the owld phone wire outside just givin' me the stare waitin' for me to go to the owld car so i reckon i will have to do a quick sprint because here they dive at yeh and let loose with a load of that white crap and i dont want to turn up at graft as if i've just whitewashed the owld ceilin'.well here goes Ledgers-old chap