h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wow how sh!t was town on fri-nite!!!!!!!
it was totally dead,so crap...

and i went out tonight,,had a good night with the girls,,but then at the end of the night ,some southern guy started trying to cause crap...giving me crap for no reason really,but he sooooooo picked on the wrong big gob... effin weirdo...
anyway hope you had a good night...i bet you had a lazy night sittin in a van all night,like most of them i seen tonight....

Dear Em, sorry I've not replied for a couple of days but I've just been working and sleeping this weekend.

Didn't get to town on Friday night too busy dealing with domestics and a couple of scouse thieves. I'll give you 'lazy shift' young lady, I'm always busy at work, don't even get time to oogle the girls round town these days.

Out round town on Friday and Saturday night!, you must be a glutton for punishment.I did end up in one of those vans on Saturday night at about 1.30. and yes I did do a bit of blimping at the women. I kept my eyes open for you but not knowing what you look like it's a bit difficult. I did see a group of loud girls fall out of Panama Joe's all drinking bottles of water and being generally rowdy, they were all hugging each other so I thought one of them may have been you. But probably not.

I had a run in with a cockney on Saturday night might have been the same bloke, him and his mate were a couple of Spurs fans who had come up to watch a football match in Liverpool. They were just being dick heads and if it had not been near to going home time they may have been locked up.

Hope you made it to your bed and did not wake up on the bathroom floor again.

Speak soon. Love David.

Hiya David..

yeah well that gang of girls you seencoming out of pans,may well have been us lot...
I know i had a bottle of water and so did a couple mates,,yep i needed it too,i was erm just ever so slightly drunk,as were all my mates..
When i was in pans tho i waas sat upstairs by the window,there was a van outside,and one drunken lad trying to have a drink in the street,there was 4police round him at one time.was you one of them??..
i reckon you could have been the one that was stood to the side,sortta walking off,but thats without knowing if it was or what you look like coz you haven't told me,if that one was you,i think i'll remember you again if i seen you,if it wasn't then i don't know what you look like.
and it didn't look like you were doin much work then....>>>>
awwww *young lady*,awww thanks
And no i didn't fall asleep on my bathroom floor or fall asleep on the food i may be eating at the time,yep have woke up and found pizza stuck to my arse,,and only last week found a cheese bun stuck to my elbow when i woke up the next day,,
..i'm not always like that tho,i think its when the aftershots/sambuca start going round that i end up in a state,,when i stay on me double vodkas all night i'm fine..

awwww one of my mates brought some photos out of us gang of girlies ,taken about 13yrs ago,god ive aged...thats what kids do to ya,i looked ever so sweet and innocent,,its good tho were all still in contact ...have you ever been to Edinburagh,(god i cant even spell it)..scotland..,me and the mates normally go to Blackpool every year,we go sat morn,come home sun tea ..it is absolutly superb,but somebody mentioned..Edinb..erm scotland for a change,and ive gotta organise it,i was volenteered by the gang,nice of um,so have you any ideas what its like..or should we stick to good ole Blackpool.



Em..xxXXxx

No it was not me, I didn't get out of the van so, you still don't know what I look like. You will have to imagine me as tall dark and handsome, well I may be tall and what hair I have is dark but as for handsome, lets just say I have an interesting face.

If you were one of them girls, the only one I can remember was a blonde dressed all in black I think, definately had black boots on, I notice that kind of thing, a bit of a goth perhaps?. Was that you...

Most girls I know say that when they eat a pizza it goes straight to their arse, but you don't even have to eat one for it to go there, How do you get a pizza stuck to your bum!!

As for Edinburgh I have been there once but only during the day, it is a beautiful city but I don't know what the night life is like, it should be good though and a change from Blackpool. What you should do is get a cheap flight abroad, me and some mates went to Madrid last year on Easy Jet, now that is a great place and it didn't cost too much.

Love, From David (tall, dark and interesting)

heeheee...yeah that was moi with the black boots on n long skirt,big belt n low cut top...probably looking rough as feck by that time tho,and yeah i tend to wear black alot..or jeans..
you didn't get out the van,you lazy sod..,was you the driver then??,but no i still don't know what you look like..

well one night after maaaaaannny vodkas,came home with me pizza,must have eaten some of it,next thing i know its morning..and i'm peeling a slice of pizza from off me arse n leg,how it got there remains a mystery..

Em, I only got a glimpse of you but I remeber thinking that you were a BABE!!, a bit of all right, don't think I would recognise you again though, but I know what to look out for in future.

And no I was not the driver I was not even in the van when that incident happened, they drove into the police station to pick me up shortly after that. The bloke who they were talking to was an off duty police man who would not give a glass over and who caused a few problems.

We are all out again this Friday on a leaving do just hope I don't get as drunk as last time. I don't mind the getting drunk bit, but its those hangovers. Took me two days to recover last time, but I was very very drunk.

Well off to make Helen's tea now, speak later(you foxy chick!)


David

*foxy chick*....are you sure you didn't have beer-goggles yourself..


what a pr!ck that off-duty one was..,anyway i won't say what i really think otherwise i'll get done myself..

okay chat later,,i'll probably be here usual time...10-10:30ish,depending whats on the telly..,may see you then if your on..

So my dear, are you doing the karaoke bit tomorrow at the Shaggy Rock ?, I admire you for getting up and singing in front of strangers, must take some courage, or is it the vodka. There again I expect if you can sing like you can, it must be a great feeling to stand up and sing and get applause. I wish perhaps more than anything, that I could sing. Music is very important to me and to sing or play an instrument would be great.

A quick list of my favourite singers, Sinatra, Bjork, Joe Strummer,Morrisey, Tom Jones, Kate Bush and Judy Garland. These are the first that came to mind not a definetive list.

And no I did not have beer googles on, there you go again putting yourself down, you Are a good looking gel, babe, chick, that knight in shinning armour can't be far away, just make sure he is good enough for you, and don't take no shit


Love David

Good evening..

well i'm supposed to be going tommorow,and probably will,but as for singing i don't know if i'll be getting up,due to my sore throat,i won't be able to get high notes in songs,or even sing,but i'll see tomorrow.but i'll defo be there.

yeah i love music too,no-matter where i am,i'm always listening to it,..tv music channels are normally on continuous in my house,then in the car,even at work,but i will listen to most things..

as for my knight in shining armour,,if he comes....he comes,if he doesn't,then thats fine too..nah i don't take shit from anyone,especially no bloke i'm with,plus i don't go for knobheads...
anyway just thinking it might not even have been me you seen,coz there was another girl in pans wearing same sortta stuff i was..,but were my skirt was long,hers was quite short,she also had all black on,boots and long blonde haair &pretty,it could have been her you seen,but she was with 2lads,1girl..

..

No I think it will have been you, long black skirt short ankle type boots drinking water from a bottle being loud and hugging everyone, long blonde hair, built for comfort not speed!!, I mean that in the best possible way, you looked great even at that time of night. So whoever this other girl was, I did not see her.

Please accept a well intentioned compliment, it was you who I saw and you are very attractive, it was not anyone else. . I am not trying to bullshit you or anything


Do you listen to music while you are on the computer, at present I am listening to Mr Brightside by The Killers, very good.


My mum has been taken ill by all accounts, she has not spoken to me for 5 years so I donot really want to go and see her, but she is getting old, what should I do?. Do you get on with your parents?, mine have disowned me

DavidXxX

Hey they were cowboy boot,not flippin ankle boots,come on get with the fashion..

*built for comfort not speed*...hahahahaha,don't worry you wouldn't offend me.and i can take a joke aswell as critism.,,and speeding round isn't my thing,especially with thing called a chest,and the size it is...but thanks for the compliments.

Yeah always have music on,...Mr Bightside,what a cd that is,i normally have that blasting in my car,with me and little one singing along ..loudly

well sorry to hear your mums not too good,,,...erm well my dad died 4yrs ago,which really has affected me emotionally.....and i speak to my mum everyday,she minds my child alot,and is the only person i would look up to in life...
as i say and have said to many people,you only get one mam & dad,treasure them while there still here,coz they could be gone in a tick,and then you'll have a lifetime of regrets and what if's....but obviously i don't know the story,and everybodys situations are different..
have you got any family you could ask to see how she is,or even if she wants to see you..

Yeah I have a brother who keeps me informed and although he has not said she doesn't want to see me, I know she doesn't.

To cut a long story short she did not agree with me getting divorced from my ex, she is very old fashioned and thought it brought shame on the family. But the worse part was that when I left, the girl I was(and still am) seeing got pregnant almost straight away. So 9 months after I left my wife, Helen was born. Thats bad enough but when I left I did not tell anyone that I was seeing another girl.(Do I sound like a real bastard?). In fact I did not leave my wife to live with this girl, I got my own place and did not move in with her til 18 months later.

Anyway when Helen was born I thought it would be a good idea to tell everyone that they had a new grand daughter, niece, sister etc. I told my mum and she has not spoke to me since. I have been taken out of her will and disowned. After a year of silence I phoned her up to make peace, but all I got was abuse, so I have not bothered since. She and my dad have never seen or enquired about their own grand daughter and I cannot forgive that. Apparently she calls Helen 'That Child'. So I have no real love for her.

What must you think of me!, but that is a part of my story, I have never tried to hurt anyone but still manage to.

DavidXxX

..well me personally wouldn't give a flying feck about them then..(or is that me just being too harsh &stubborn),my mam fell out with me when i left my ex and said some pretty nasty things to me,even when my dad died a month later,the way she said things it was made out like it was all my fault,but we fell out,but she came to me before i went back to her...she has never said sorry but,maybe in her own way she did..
just a question...has your ex-wife &child forgiven you,,i mean aswell have they moved on with their lives..

Yeah everyone has moved on except my parents. The ex is still in our old house and financialy ok, she is in a steady relationship and I think our splitting up was the best thing for everyone. My son and I still have a good relationship though I don't see him much these days. He is 15 and would rather go out with his mates than see his dad. I don't mind I would be the same in his position. And dispite all my warnings he has got himself a girlfriend, I told him that them girls are nawt but trouble, looks like he is following his dad in that department.

Me and the ex get on fine now, all this though has made me think that if I was to move out of this relationship(the one with my present girlfriend) it would be for the best in the long run.

Time will tell.

Cowboy boots.......... woooow girly,

Love David XxX

Well if they can move on with their lives,then why can't your parents...everybody makes mistakes in life and no-body is perfect,no matter even if they think they are...people just learn from their mistakes and move on...or well sometimes they do..
I can't tell you what to do about your parents,just do what you think is best....



well i'm just a stubborn arse me,and they would come to me before i would go to them...i'm from a big family too,so occasionally we may have a fall out,but still i never back down,give in or go to them first..and if anybody referred to my little one as *that child*,whoahhhh there would be trouble..

As for your lad,try givin him some condoms and a fatherly talk on birds n bees..

hey there was a time when alls i used to wear was long black suade or leather thigh boots,but that was many years ago,when i was 17,18,19,20,,,was a proper rocker back then,calmed down abit now..

My son will know more about the birds and bees than me!. I think I can trust him, he is more sensible than me(not that takes much)

Well I'm going to bed now and I will be dreaming of you in those thigh lenght boots!!!!!.

Goodnight and sweet dreams.

Your friend, DavidXxX

Well goodnight and sleep well,hope you don't have nightmares,but you will if they are about me

night sweetdreams David..
chat soon..
xxXXxx

Hi Em, how are you ?, did you get up at the shaggy rock last night ?.

Another long day at work today, had dealings with a couple of lesbians, and believe me they were soooo not lipstick lesbians, I think I have been put off women for life. They were a couple of bag heads thieves and very smelly.

Anyway got my hair cut today, not that it takes long, I had a number one all over, and he charged me £7.50, I was only in the chair for 5 minutes!, I think I'm in the wrong job, that bloke must earn a fortune.

This talk of shaving this reminds me of a conversation I had yesterday with a bloke at work. He apparently, has a number 3 on his pubes and uses Veet on his dangley bits. He says it makes you feel fresher and more comfortable, and the girls like the stubble, something to do with it being stimulating!. He said I should try it!, well perhaps I will.

There I am getting sordid again,

Hope all is well with you,

Speak soon, Love David XxX

PS how do you get thoes extra smiley icons?

Hiya David..
ooooooeeerrr dangly bits n hair removal stuff,sounds painfull to me...,,doesn't the stuff burn??,don't use it myself,my skin is sensitive enough without that type of stuff...
a groomed bits probably nicer to look at ,aswell as for the mouth,so your not choking on the hair..nudge,nudge,wink,wink....... n all that..
anyway next time i'm out i'll look out for a slap-head then.....
anyway hope your well..
chat soon..

Em, you rude girl !!! , I am sure I don't know what you mean, choking on hair ?. Well that works both ways, I've had to stop what I was doing and pull hairs off my tongue before now.

This slap head will be out tomorrow night and be very drunk. I noticed that you have said that you can't stand drunken slobbering men, so if you are out and you see someone that you think could be me, you better keep away,I would probably be a great disappointment to you! . (I not that bad when I'm drunk really)

Anyway stop showing off with all them icons, I can only access the ones at the bottom of the screen.

etc. etc.

I am well and hope to speak soon

Love David xx