h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

az

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and Lua - it sounds more positive than negative at least.

Enjoy your "vet-break" while you can.

As for how I'm doing...I'm coping. It gets a little easier every day but it still hurts like hell every night when I turn out the light and everything is quiet. I think about him as often as I can - but as time goes on I find that sometimes I haven't thought about him for a while, like during a 30 minute tv show or something. Then I feel sad, and a little guilty about that - I know I mustn't.

Charlie is still quite clingy - and still won't come onto my desk. He went out into the garden today and just sat on the path and miaowed. I think he was calling for Jake. It was heartbreaking. I went and called him in and he literally ran back to the house and up the stairs to hide under the bed. He wouldn't come out for hours. When he did come out he was very subdued - until we gave him some chicken...he perked up a bit then. We take each day at a time with him - see what his reaction is and act accordingly. I've heard it can take a couple of weeks for them to get back to normal.

We will get Jakes ashes back some time next week and I still can't decide what to do. I have a large ornamental cat collection and some of them are hollow. I was thinking of putting his ashes in one of them and sealing it up. I might scatter some in the garden - in the places he used to like to lay in the summer. That's another thing I'll decide on when the time comes.

Meanwhile - have a happy weekend.

Lady

There are urns available for pets, some quite lovely. Here are some links in the UK:

http://www.perfectpeturn.com/index.html
http://www.dignitypetcrem.co.uk/
http://www.pcsonline.org.uk/acatalog/Online_Catalogue_Caskets___Urns__1.html

I think if the ultrasound shows no other tumours I might go with the op, although my main fear there is that Lua might not survive it. Also, some small metastasis that didn't show up on the tests might become tumours within a very short time. In which case, since she is not suffering at the moment, is eating well, looks happy (well, for her anyhow ) perhaps it would be kinder not to put her through an op, even though that would mean deciding her death for sure.

That is the hard part. As long as there is a bit of hope then I'd hate to just let her die. But it may turn out the op and what happens afterwards (if she survives it) would be much worse for her. I'm trying to think of what would be best for Lua, not about how much I want her to stay around for as long as possible. It's really a question of deciding quality of life for her, which is very hard to do.

For example, I have no idea how much pain she is in with her hip. She does limp and at least to me it looks quite painful some days. She is quite overweight, which is something I've never understood because she actually doesn't over-eat. Meaning that she seldom eats the daily recommended amount of her Hill's senior food. But after she was sterilized she just blew up like a balloon.

The x-ray yesterday evening showed her stomach was still full even though she hadn't eaten since the morning. So maybe she just doesn't digest her food well? Also there was a lot of liquid in her abdomonal cavity (???) I've put her on Hill's RD for her to lose weight a couple of times but there has never been any change. So, being almost 14 years old, overweight with an arthritic hip and now a tumour . . . am I being unrealistic in trying to prolong her life? Would I just be doing it for myself?

Well, as you can see, still going around in circles. Though it could turn out that the ultrasound results wil make my decision for me.

We shall see . . .

az

hi Lady,

I guess it's too soon to think about getting a companion for Charlie, but it might be something to consider in future. Especially as he is not used to being the only cat in the house. And no, not as a 'replacement' for Jake - just so Charlie doesn't feel alone and has someone to play with. You never know, some little beast might end up finding you!

That's really how I got all my cats - they just sort of 'happened' to me. I wasn't actually looking for a cat when friends first told me about Lua. I mean, I had only been living in Spain a couple of months and I hadn't had cats for about twenty years. Then I heard that Lua had been given away by her owners (because the woman got pregnant and was unrealistically worried about having both a cat and a baby - whatever). They gave her to other friends in the country who had a lot of other cats - though not indoor cats. And Lua was so terrified after being a total house cat for two years that she wouldn't come out of her box and barely ate for two weeks. These other friends asked me if I would take her because they were afraid that she might just die of fright and starvation. And so I did.

Then when I wanted to get Lua spayed I was told by the vet it would be better if she had one litter of kittens first, so I mated Lua with a huge gorgeous Birman and she had four kittens. I wasn't really sure about keeping one for myself (and I had plenty of other takers for the kittens) but ended up falling in love with Sunny. Once the kittens started walking I would find this one kitten always sitting in front of the door waiting for me when I came home and one day I finally said to him - 'Oh, I guess this means you're mine, does it?' So the other three kittens went to good homes and I moved from Salamanca to Seville with Lua and Sunny.

About a year later I 'adopted' a beautiful black street cat who I named Cat. Meaning he remained a street cat but I fed him everyday as he seemed to have adopted our street. He became such a favourite with everyone in the street that I ended up leaving a sack of catfood at the bar across from my house and everyone there made sure Cat had food and water as well. He was even allowed to have the run of the bar. It was quite lovely as I could visit with him every day and I knew he was being well looked after by myself and everyone.

Then one day Cat disappeared and a week or so later I found him in a little square not far from here. He had found a girlfriend! So I 'adopted' her as well, named her Holly (Breakfast at Tiffany's - Cat and Holly) and ended up having to go to the square every day to feed them both. It soon became apparent that Holly was pregnant and very soon after than Cat became very ill. I tried helping by feeding him antibiotics every day but then one day he just wasn't there and he never came back again.

Later Holly had six kittens. Two tabbys just like her, two jet black cats just like Cat and two black&white ones from 'that other guy' who had been hanging around. So I continued feeding this cat family. Then one by one the kittens started disappearing and I discovered someone had been killing them off - one day I found a kitten head in the square! It was horrible. And finally only one black kitten remained. Obviously Cat's son. And then one day I found him with his left front leg all broken and bent and bleeding - apparently someone had tried to kill him too but he got away. The leg was a mess and I was sure he was a goner but in the end he survived. I named him Azar which means 'chance' or 'happenstance' in Spanish.

I really had no intention of bringing Azar home because I already had two cats and that felt like quite enough to have in one flat. But the more I got to know Azar I could see that his broken leg left him unable to defend himself and so, when he was five months old, I decided I just couldn't leave the son of Cat out there in the streets. Azar was totally wild and it was very hard to 'capture' him but in the end I managed it and brought him home.

Yet another cat that just 'happened' to me! When I got him home I had to keep him locked in my studio until I got him cleaned up and de-wormed. Once let out of the studio he didn't let me touch him again for almost three months! Though he and Sunny immediately became best mates, which was lovely to see. By this time Lua had long ago forgotten that Sunny was in fact her son and the two of them did not get along at all. She also chose to totally ignore Azar and would just hiss and spit at him if he came near her. Typical. But Sunny is the most laid-back cat ever and, as I say, he and Azar became immediate and inseparable best mates.

Anyhow, I finally got Azar to let me touch him again and since then he has turned into the most affectionate and adorable cat ever. Now he will race around and mieow like crazy until I pick him up and give him a cuddle. And he has the softest fur I have ever felt on a cat. Meanwhile, he still runs away from everyone else and nobody but myself has ever been able to touch him - and this is more than eight years after I first brought him home! Yet he charms almost everyone who sees him, with his incredibly shiny jet black fur, his huge yellow eyes and enormous ears. And that very endearing front leg that looks like a hockey stick. He is also very mischievious and these days I think he just plays at 'being afraid' of other people because he likes the fuss they make over him.

I doubt those two boys would even miss Lua at all, though I might be surprised. I was looking at the three of them here the other night and thought - it just wouldn't 'work' without Lua! Somehow she completes the picture so well. Somehow she provides a sort of balance between the three of them.

Well, a really way-too-long ramble about my cats. But what the hell - it's MY journal!

Anyhow, Lady, feel free to also share my journal if you want to talk more about Jake and Charlie. You are certainly among people who care and understand what you are going through right now.

Like I said before, I cannot believe in a 'cat heaven' but this by no means is to say that I think your belief in that isn't a real one for you. It just doesn't work for me. I think it would be a real comfort for you to have Jake's ashes placed somewhere special and, yes, perhaps have some of them spread about in the garden where he used to play. Whatever works for you. Meanwhile, Jake *is* still there with you and always will be. Just like I know that Lua will be with me for the rest of my life. Heck, twelve years of living with this cranky girl is never to disappear - ever!

Love to you,

az

"way-too-long ramble"

never...eventho I do not suroundings I can see it!

you should write book.

Dutch saying: you tell a story with colours and smells.

Wow! I was thinking exactly the same thing pheloxi!

az

What you have done - and tried to do - for those cats is a wonderful thing and I enjoyed reading every word of it - even the sad parts because there is so much love and joy to counter-balance them.

I have never understood how our fellow human beings can be so cruel as to harm any defenceless animal - especially such beautiful ones as cats. If I start to think too deeply about that though I will end up feeling sad again and I have been sad enough this week.

We have thought about a new companion for Charlie and we agree that it is a good idea. I'm pretty sure that he will accept a newcomer seeing as every cat in the neighbourhood lets itself into our house at all hours of the day and night and Charlie just sits and watches! I am not sure what age of cat is best though. If I find a kitten that wants to be my new owner will Charlie get jealous and boss it around? If I find one (or - again one finds me) a bit older will it be too set in it's ways? I guess the only way to find out is to give it a try. When the time comes I will get in touch with Cats Protection and see what they say.

Meanwhile, today is the first day that Charlie hasn't been too clingy. He wanted his normal fuss at 5am of course and then again just after breakfast, but really since then he has spent most of the day on the sofa while I've been upstairs in the office. He miaowed a few times but when I called his name he was quiet.
Let's hope this is the beginning of the recovery.

Thank you again for letting me share this part of your journal. It has been a tremendous comfort to me.

to you and Lua and all your boys and girls

pheloxi,

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That is so beautiful! And it reminds me of the spell my witch friend Jez told me to speak about Lua. About her fur, her claws, her spite, her everything.

Lua's colour is blue. Her smile is seldmom seen but is always there if one wants to look for it.

az

Oh sorry pheloxi - you said colour and smells, not colour and smiles!

Well, Lua smells like Lua, which is to say like not much at all. Her fur always smells fresh and clean. I oughtta know since I wake up every morning with her practically on my head! Bless her.

Lady,

I always think it is nicer for cats to be in pairs. Of course you never know how a new cat will fit in. In the end it doesn't really matter. I know that even though Lua treats both Sunny and Azar with total distain that she still enjoys their company. From those few times I have found them all sleeping together when I come home.

I'm glad to hear that both Charlie and you are adjusting to your loss.

az

Lady

you might think of 1 or 2 year old cat from the animal shelter. do not decide at first go, but just go few times. most people will fall in love with a cat they see. that is one to choose.

azahar,
lua may not remember that sunny is her son, but they are acompany each other for long time.

I wish both strength and always remember the good times, because they heal the pain.

pheloxi

pheloxi,

If I were actually looking for a cat I would probably go to an animal shelter place and try to find one there. As I say, all my cats have always 'found me' somehow. A couple of others have come my way over the years and I ended up finding homes for them because I really could NOT have more than three.

Once my friends down the street at the bar (the same ones that once fed and cared for Cat) called to say there was a little black kitten there and they didn't know what to do because it had found its way into the bar and they had to close soon. I told Pepe I couldn't really help. But of course half an hour later there I was at the bar and I took the little thing home overnight. It was so tiny, maybe six weeks old. I kept it in a separate room because I could see it had fleas and I didn't know if it had anything else serious that could infect my cats.

The next day, just by chance, one of my students told me about a friend of hers who had just lost two cats. One had died and shortly afterwards the other one just disappeared. So I said to her - maybe they would like to try this new kitten I just brought in!

So, my student's friend showed up to have a look at the kitten. I had it all ready and said if he decided not to keep it he could bring it back again. And I offered him a couple of tins of cat food and some cat sand. He said he already had cat sand. Then he picked up the kitten and told me - 'I won't take your food thanks, it's not kitten food! I'll pick up some proper kitten food on the way home!' And I knew then and there that he had lost his heart to this little thing and would keep it. He called me a couple of days later to say that he had to give this kitten a proper bath because it was full of fleas and that he and his wife were on their way to the Animal Protection Society to look for a companion for their new cat. Isn't that a lovely story?

Meanwhile I said to Pepe at the bar - don't you EVER EVER call me about stray kittens again!

az

Once Lua has had the ultrasound, you may well have a better idea of what is going on, az. I do hope it helps to make things a bit easier for you.

I am glad things are a little easier for you today, Lady in a Tree.

s to you both.

Caerwynn,

It's a tough call. On the one hand of course I hope the ultrasound shows that she has no other tumours happening. On the other hand, if it did, it would make my decision much easier.

So, while I don't want Lua to have metastasis going on, if she doesn't then it makes the final decision mine. Aaaaargh.

Can a cat her age survive having all four breasts removed? Would this add more time to her life? And more importantly, would this add quality time to whatever time she has left?

She is so happily sitting next to me right now. I don't even want to have to take her for the ultrasound because I know that will be so stressful for her. F**k.

az

I do understand the dilemma you are in, if I had a £1 for all the attempts I make at write postings here before deleting, swinging one way or the other, op or no op, I could spend the rest of my life swanning around living the life of Riley

Try not to think of the decision facing you until you know the results of the ultra sound. Cosset Lua and spoil the boys too over the weekend.

hi Caerwynn,

Well, happily, since this is my journal I reckon I can write whatever I like and no one has to read it unless they want to. But I know what you mean. Normally I write and edit and edit and edit again before posting stuff on most other threads.

Thank you for caring so much. I'm cosseting and spoiling everyone like mad this weekend, including myself.

az

Hi Az
most cats can live quite happilly following a op like that ,also a lot of that "liqiud" will be "puss" sound to me like better to have
all four removed.Are they all on the same branch,dont forget that this op is only simuler to a mascetomy !isnt it.
a puss filled puss,
will look full even if not eaten a lot,also some of that would be hair from grooming dont forget.

Forget who was thinking of adophting cat ,as company for "jack?" try not to go for to big a age difference,allthough most cats accept kittens ,but that doesnt mean there life long bossem budies, just allies .Several multi cat householders will know what i mean battle lines drawn ,bedroom belongs to one cat another room to other ,kitchen being neutral teritory.

On obtaining kitten or adult it is best to alter diet slowly ,that is to give mixed 90/10 75/25 changeing diet over a couple of weeks.This will help stop the squits which most cats get when diet changes to suddenly,it affects kitten worst as cannot take enough water on board and get dehydrated.

Also spare a though for those older cats ,a 12 year old cat has a good chance of liveing another ten years also tend to be quiker at resettleing haveing done it all before

logicus,

You are making all this both easier and harder! And I think you know what I mean.

Thanks.

az

Lady,

I think logicus is right that there is no 'right age' for bringing a second cat into a home. For example *no* cat at *any* age would have been acceptable for Lua. But bringing Azar in at five months when Sunny was three years old turned out to be a perfect match. But that was more a match of personalities. As you said, you'll just have to try and see. And really, even if the cats don't seem to hit if off they are probably still enjoying each other's company. I know Lua does enjoy having the boys around even though she acts as though she doesn't.

Hey, have you had a look at my cat photos? If not, you can see everyone here: http://public.fotki.com/azahar/gatitos

az

Dont mean to,but ten years with CPL tend to "bias" me, but only you can know ,allthough i have had to make "heart rendering" decisions many time for "strays" luckly not for my own cats.

Lua "should" stand a very good chance, also the extra weight will hopefully be less.Mind you a lot of older cats do carry "padding" like us!

logicus,

I meant that in a very nice way - that you are being so optimistic because of all your experiences that it makes it harder for me to *not* be so optimistic at times. You keep adding a very positive side to things which helps a lot and then also makes it harder to have to decide when I am looking at all the other side of things.

I appreciate all of your caring and opinions and input - really! Also, I know you have had a lot of experience with cats so this is quite valuable - to hear about all that.

I'm just trying to decide about Lua now . . . dammit, I actually didn't even know how much I loved her until it came to this. I mean, I have always loved her (though she has never made it easy!) but I never expected this heart-being-ripped-to-shreds, all-day-crying stuff.

It's very exhausting.

az

s are like kids, it's never a good age to introduce another one But after a bit of sibling rivalry they tolerate each other!

We can offer advice till the cows come home, az. You know we are here to support what ever decision you make