h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>>The thing bothering me the most right now is that I hadn't caught this sooner. I know, I can't change that. But it still hurts that I didn't.<<

az - I am going through that feeling every minute of every day. I tell myself there's nothing I could have done. I tell myself that had I known what would I have done about it and could I have possibly loved him any more than I did. He was loved and treated like a king every day of his life - I couldn't have stopped the inevitable - just delayed it and that would have been even harder.

You have a very difficult decision to make. Believe me I know. But when the time comes you will find the right decision comes to your heart immediately. You will know what to do. Listen to your vet and take his lead. He knows best. Listen to your heart because you know better than anyone what it would mean to Lua.

Be strong for her. It's not easy and it hurts like hell. It still hurts and nobody can tell me when it will stop.

all my - Lady. (Debs)

Az, that is one of my favourite riojas . Next time I get a bottle, I'll raise a glass to Lua.

Of course you will make the right decision and you love Lua too much not to make an uninformed one. I didn't mean to imply otherwise.

I hope today is a little easier, Lady in a Tree, for you and Charlie.

Caerwynn

A little easier. I got a lovely card sent to me in the post today from my vets surgery saying how they were sorry that they couldn't do any more for Jake and that they will miss him too. I thought that was a beautiful thing to do. The picture on the front of the card looked just like him. They are very thoughtful there.

Charlie is being very clingy. He comes to me wherever I go - except here, at my desk. He will not come onto the desk at all. I think he still senses it was Jakes place. It will be a breakthrough when he forgets and jumps up to lie next to me like he used to.

Lady,
I think that Jake is looking from his garden cloud on you and feels very loved.

I had heard of this poem called Rainbow Bridge so I went onto the web to find it.

I did find it 20 minutes ago and it has taken me this long to stop the tears (again) and copy it to here.


Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends, so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigour; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. The bright eyes are intent; the eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to break away from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...

She may be a grumpy old thing but I shall certainly be very upset if she's not there when I come back in July...

I shall keep my fingers crossed for you both.

Just heard "jimmy cliff" many rivers to cross .Powerfull voice,fingers still crossed

hi Blues,

She *may* be a grumpy old thing? I know, it wouldn't be the same without chubby Lua totally ignoring you and going 'ack' and otherwise being a weirdo. It quite amazing how she charms people without even trying.

You're the only one here who has heard her 'ack'. I liken it to the sound a baby pterodactyl might make if you squeezed it.

There is definitely only one Lua!

az

Here is something (okay, a few things) for those who have lost a doggie friend....

http://www.dogheaven.com/
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0590417010/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-3629667-7207058#reader-page
http://lighthousedogs.com/heaven.html

"Angel Dogs"

When dogs go to heaven, they don't need wings because God knows that dogs love running best. He gives them fields. Fields and fields and fields.

When a dog first arrives in heaven, he just runs. Dog heaven has clear, wide lakes filled with geese that honk and flap and tease. The dogs love this. They run beside the water and bark and bark and God watches them from behind a tree and smiles.

There are children. Of course. Angel children. God knows that dogs love children more than anything else in the world, so he fills Dog Heaven with plenty of them. There are children on bikes and children on sleds. There are Children throwing red rubber balls and children pulling kites through the clouds. The dogs are there, and the children love them dearly.

And, oh, the dog biscuits. Biscuits and biscuits as far as the eye can see. God has a sense of humor, so He makes His biscuits in funny shapes for His dogs. There are kitty-cat biscuits and squirrel biscuits. Ice-cream biscuits and ham-sandwich biscuits. Every angel who passes by has a biscuit for a dog.

And, of course, all God's dogs sit when the angels say "sit." Every dog becomes a good dog in Dog Heaven.

God turns clouds inside out to make fluffy beds for the dogs in Dog Heaven, and when they are tired from running and barking and eating ham-sandwich biscuits, the dogs find a cloud bed for sleeping. They turn around and around in the cloud... until it feels just right, and then they curl up and they sleep. God watches over each one of them. And there are no bad dreams.

Dogs in Dog Heaven have almost always belonged to somebody on Earth and, of course, the dogs remember this. Heaven is full of memories. So sometimes an angel will walk a dog back to Earth for a little visit and quietly, invisibly, the dog will sniff about his old backyard, will investigate the cat next door, will follow the child to school, will sit on the front porch and wait for the mail. When he is satisfied that all is well, the dog will return to Heaven with the angel. It is where dogs belong, near God who made them.

The dogs in Dog Heaven who had no real homes on Earth are given one in Heaven. The homes have yards and porches and there are couches to lie on and tables to sit under while angels eat their dinners. There are special bowls with the dogs' names on them. And each dog is petted and reminded how good he is, all day long.

Dogs in Dog Heaven may stay as long as they like and this can mean forever. They will be there when old friends show up. They will be there at the door. Angel dogs.

By, Cynthia Rylant

To be honest, the 'animal heaven' stuff doesn't really work for me. I'm not religious in any way. I don't believe in either God or heaven. But I can see how it might offer comfort to others.

For the moment, Lua is still here with me. I'm putting lots of extra love and energy into enjoying her right now. No matter what happens I know she is going to live with me always but I *will* miss her sleeping on my head and all that other stuff.

She just got into a hissy fit with Azar, so she can't be feeling too badly. And as I said, she is totally loving the paté. Really, if not for knowing that huge lump was there now, I would never think anything was wrong with her.

What I need now is information to help me make my decision about whether to operate or not. And I hope to be able to do that in the next couple of days. Financial constraints mean I can't take her to other vet's for a second and third opinion. Three human doctors have so far given me contradictory advice.

Anyhow, while Lua is still here I just want to enjoy her as much as I can.

az

Az have you tried animal charities following the links i stuck on thread earlier.Several "teaching vetinarys" do arrange subsidised ops with some of the more "reguler surgical procedures" as well.

Az behaviour will give you better indication of Lua true condition,and some "Cat leukimias" if that is indeed what it is can be managed with "pills" also not all growths are painfull, i have known some cats to live five or more years with these growths of course a lot depends on what its attatched to also.

Sadly no one can advise you what to do for the best ,but lets hope you dont have to make it to soon.

Logicus,

I can borrow the money for the operation. What I can't do is get more money to maybe get an ultrasound done to see if any other tumours are there already. Or to visit another vet for a second opinion.

Perhaps removing the tumour *is* an easy-recovery op as I was told - I don't know for sure yet, will have to ask around. What I really need to know is *if* the tumour is indeed malignant and if so, has it already spread. And it seems the only way to find that out is to operate. Catch-22.

az

I hope you get some good advice az, that gives you a clear indication of what to do. for you and for Lady in a tree.

Az http://www.fabcats.org/ try a visit here for info not wanting to deluge you with useless links but this looks interesting

I have my fingers crossed, hoping that there's good news...

The hardest thing is not knowing what to do. What I know for sure is that I don't want her to die on the operating table and I think if they find her full of cancer when they open her up then they will let her go there and then. More and more it's beginning to look like that would be the case.

The nipple was bleeding again this morning. Both my nuclear medicine doctors told me that (in humans) this is a sign of a very aggressive cancer.

If I could be sure the op would be worth it, would add another year or two to Lua's life, then of course I would do it. And if I could be sure that by not operating I am also not signing her death sentence then I would feel less horrid about choosing that option. So I am still undecided.

If I decide against the operation then Lua is not going back to the vet's ever. In the best case scenario she will die peacefully in her sleep. But if it becomes apparent she is suffering too much with pain then I will have the vet come here to give her the injection, while she is asleep on her favourite cushioned stool (where she is right now).

I wish I knew what to do.

az

Its sounds as though you already know what to do, and its sounds very humane to me. Go with your gut feeling, so long as Lua isn't in pain, keep her with you.

Kaz,

Yeah, but what if? You know? What if by some chance the operation would get rid of all the cancer and then she would live for a few more years?

My heart is telling me to keep her home with me. My mind is telling me I don't have enough facts to make the right decision.

az

Hi big sis.

I wish I knew what to do to make you happy. Like you wish you could change things. I think you're dilema comes from not knowing how to make things better. Truth is you probably can't but still wish you could.

Like Kaz says you do know what to do. "For all the points on the compass there is but one direction" It is how we travel that counts.

I trust you have all the strenght and resolve to make the best of a very sad situation.

You know my thoughts are with you and Iknow you will do whatever is best for Lua because you love her.

one love