h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah! Time travel, that'd be the ticket

Be able to exact a bit of revenge here n' there n'all

Hadn't thought of that!

'course it would only be worth it if we got to go back knowing all we know now - be a bit groundhog day otherwise

Pffft! I ain't going back without hindsight, no point, I'd just be a total arse all over again

Agreed then

*spit and shake*

We go back with hindsight

How many occasions of revenge are we allowed each? I want to make a list so I don't waste any

Oh I think the laws of karmic time travel dictate that it's basically a revengeful act per bad dooers doings.

Blimey, better get myself a roll of paper then - that waxy stuff we had in skool will do

Indeed! This could take a great deal of time, and a couple of rainforest worth of paper.

Ok, I've got as far as the chair pulling away and fall on my bum incident in first year infants How's your list going?

By the boo, can you perchance tell me what the difference is between 'burnout voile' and ordinary voile?

I beat you My first is the pressing iron point first in the skull aged 9months Explains a lot that one, doesn't it?

Err..., d'you mean blackout voile? If so, self-explanatory. Otherwise me dunno. Give me a context, p'raps i can work it out then...

Ah, no, see...I'm going from birth onwards. Already covered being launched from the sledge aged 1, and Timothy Wotsisface from next door making me cry because he snapped my dolly's arm off
Even so, iron incident at 9 months beats me

No, blackout I get...I'm kinda hoping this is just a sort of snazzy name but basically meaning the same thing as blackout, all academic as I've already ordered it...tis a blind. No worries, just thought you'd know about girl stuff like this

Oh, here's summat you might know, actually a couple of summats. I need to drill holes in tiles, to put up a toothypegbrush holder. Now, I know that tiles can crack with drilling, but I also know that there's a way to prevent this...just don't know what. Also, I've decided that to cover up the upside down tiles, using a textured paint might be the ticket aswell as covering all trace of tiles, might look rather spiffy...can I use textured paint on tiles? I've checked a couple of webby pages and they all say that tiles should be sanded and roughed up with a sander machine before any painting, which 1: I don't have and 2: I really can't be arsed going to that amount of trouble. I just want to slap it on and be done with it. Clearly we're talking bodge job here, but I don't care, I just need to know if it'll stay stuck on and not fall off while I'm in the shower. If you don't know, would you mind asking Trog , I know it'll prob offend his perfectionist sensibilities, but, just tell him to put a cowboy hat on

Blimey. Boff alert - or as boff as a neanderthal can get

Right. To avoid a tile rainshower while drilling, drill through an 'X' of masking tape. As for tile paint - Trog says 'noooooo!' not authentic enough apparently *shrug* All I know about that is that there's speshul paint fer tiles and you mustn't use anything else... There's also tile stickers (I think the fancy name forem is appliqué, or summat)

I guess that's a notch too girly for me then, do let me know when you find out, won't you? We need to know these things.

Can I include 4 brothers each holding an appendage at age 6 while the mad jabbed me'arse with a foot long needle full of quinine in Lagos?

You've got me obsessed now...

http://design.hgtv.com/bath/Article_detail.aspx?id=509

Trog says either one'll do the trick (but they smell apparently):

http://www.dulux.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/PracticalitiesProductDetailsControllerCmd?storeId=10752&catalogId=10051&langId=-1&code=RTP
http://www.ronseal.co.uk/products/product.jsp?id=11

I don't know about textured though

Oh testyclays and crudbuckets!

My problemo is that I have, surrounding the bath, squarsey tiles, 4 tiles high, tiled over diagnolly tiles. So just painting over them with tile paint will still show the diagnollyness shape, which quite frankly, looks pants and is one of those things that causes me much mentalness, like a skewiffy picture or other things of uneveness Obviously tiling over would be the thing of preference, but I can't flarkin' reach as high as I need to, nor is there any way of getting contraptions to assist with height enhancement. Same thing with the transfers, diagnolly over squaresy*twitch*



Ask him what abouts artex?Or that wall smootherer type stuff

I've a feeling the blind might be yet another one of my boo boo purchases that won't work and I'll forget to return and be stuck with, still in it's packaging taking up storage space until 5 years later when I have another clear out

Oh indeed, indeed! I've got a separate list for mine, and I've only got the one *spit* brother

Ah, busy ranting when you posted that.

*clicky*

S'not the ugliest bathroom in the world

Ok, so he's still insisting with the tile paint. Godamm professional types Oooh, ok, so hows abouts if I paint over them with tile paint *then* will I be able to slop nuther stuff on top of that

Lookie!

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o123/malevolentlalala_photos/squarseydiagonals.jpg

*twitch*

Masking tape is in readiness for bodgejobbing to commence

You're going to hate me for this - but I've told you before that I actually don't think they're that bad...








Mammmyyyy!!!

You can't possibly be serious.

Whilst I agree, either set of tiles aren't in themselves objectionable, but you cannot, surely, be telling me, there is anything in the least bit aesthetic about two entirely different sets of tiles, one lot white, tiled as square, the other cream with a blue and yellow pattern tiled as diagonal. The hell with aesthetic, how about just downright acceptable to someone with any kind of sense of style and taste.



Maybe I should invest in some flying ducks for the wall and brassware for the fireplace n'all eh?

At least it is not snot green vines all across your ceiling!!!

Listen. What does it say on that site? Work with what you is havin'

Paint them, but you ain't going to be able to disguise the fact that they is skewhiffy, is ya?


I'm not helping, am I?

OK, I can't find a picture, but here's what I thought. You need some sort of border to separate the two. As there isn't enough space for an actual border, yuou'll have to be inventive. Either use a bold colour or - use craftsy bits.

before you do anything though, you have to decide what colour scheme or ambience you want in there. Do you like beach hut design, do you prefer limestoney effects? Is you into cubism or Monet

Once you know the 'look' vous voudrez, then you can start thinking of ways to achieve it.... and I can hewp.

any better?

Refs:

http://www.urbanjunkie.co.uk/shopimages/products/extras/beach%20hut%20toilet%20seat%20500.jpg
http://vinylzart.com/images/ClassicCanvas-ClaudeMonet-MadameMonetandChild(1875).jpg
http://www.bourgetbros.com/flagstone/imagesFS/Wall_Three%20rivers1.jpg
http://www.hiandlomodern.com/IMAGES/ART/harrisstrong3womenfrieze.jpg