h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ali,

Brad only ever "posts and runs", I've noticed. He'll probably re-appear as someone else in a minute. Mind you, "Brad" and Bushwhack'd are a bit similar, aren't they? Both thick northerners, both sad communists, both unemployed, both highly self-opinionated... I think they're the same person. Some saddo, sat in a council flat in Bingley, typing with one hand and enjoying a hand shandy as he goes...

Brad, have you noticed they are taking longer and longer to type any replies... Mind you it is quite difficult to type when your eyes are stung with tears isn't it? Poor lambies!!

ROFL!!

Couldn't find his @rse cos there's too many shoes in the way. Why don't you just queen down to 'Harvey Nicks' BushMod and leave us alone? Haven't you got some posts to be pulling over on the MBs?

HAh!

says Ali - the poster from MC-H - the lace doily of the BBC message boards

V Lax, has AW got "BIG EARS"?

When you walk, you sound like a childs bike!

Why don't you 2 p8ss off to the 'Sexual health' board? They're probably talking about naughty stuff there, and you'll get to use your jizz rags sooner.

You're one to mention "pulling" Pen!!

You're a veritable champion at "pulling" aren't you? Why did you send a picture of your knob to Reader's Wives by the way you self-obsessed "ragular poster" ... If ian johnston works in the car park at Buyrite you must be his understudy!

"jizz" ... coming from you, the man that has to logoff every 10 mins, for "clean-up Kleenex" breaks that's really funny!

ha ha "big ears"


nice one Bushy

At least mine's big enough to show up in a photo: what did your (fictional, I'll bet) missus do? Just send a full length picture of you entitled 'My Knob'?

...And your misses just photographed "her" own REAL knob I suppose Pen?

"ha ha "big ears"
nice one Bushy"

Is that the best you can do, stand around congratulating another numpty on his pointless existence? It'll be 'hear hear, good shot' in a minute. Ever had an original thought (or can't you afford one), or do you just ride around on other people's coattails?

Dishcloth'd,

The tears in my eyes are due to reading your risible drivel, and that of your clone, Sad Slovan. You should try going out and meeting some women. Not northern ones, though (You can spot them at a distance - they're the ones with moustaches). The problem is, if you try to chat up a proper, southern bird:

1) She'll laugh at your clothes

2) She'll laugh at your gormless accent

3) When you can't afford to buy a drink, she'll laugh at your poverty.

Anyway, why would I be working on a science project - I let idiots like you toil away for the minimum wage to do that sort of stuff for me.

At least we're not wondering around going 'no, don't take a photo of me, it'll steal my soul'.

Seeing as you can't read or write, who's doing your typing? Or is it just the special voices in your pumpkin head?

Pat Pending gets accused to never writing anything original and comes steaming back with ... an accusation of never being original!

You're too thick words!!

Thick Pat McClot strikes again ... Bravo!

What's the matter whack'd? Use up all the words you know have you? I've got plenty left: you can borrow some if you like. How about prat, git, grim, clueless, gimp to start with?

Sorry Knobstrok'd: I forgot 'Irony' hadn't reached the North yet (something to with it having 3 sylabbles I think).

Pat,

You don't need to lend him anything. He's a northerner after all. He'll just go out and steal some.

isn't it time you 3 trotted off to some girly posters for an ego rub ?

with your little pink bag of effeminate coy innuendo

or perhaps you only have the courage virtually, I bet you'vee got more plum in your voice than Sainsburys

you wouldn't know what to do with a real one if you ever had the balls to meet one - you'd face them the wrong way round for a start

I'd sooner laughed at me accent that the fuppin' bell on me hat V Minus!

Minimum wage? Well you're the expert there aren't you? Don't tell you are on another "conference" call now to the States!

Here is your typical w**king day:

4:00am Wake up set off for w**k!
4:15am Go back to house take off night gown and cap and get shower
4:16am Put on "Noddy Outfit" and tip-toe past sleeping Misses and 10 kids in same room but wake them up with constant ringing anyway.

4:20am Get in car and "toot" horn on way to w**k early to miss traffic.
4:25am Get stuck in traffic jam
7:05am Get to w**k and begin "conference" call to States.
9:30pm Leave office and get stuck in traffic jam.
1:12am Notice loads of rain-coated men, some with video cameras waving to your Misses and wonder who they are again outside your dustbin.
1:13am Go to bed
1:14am Get up, take off Noddy outfit and put on Night gown and cap, sleep ...

Admit it V Minus, that's the truth isn't it?