Journal Entries
Carp
Posted Nov 29, 2009
Well.
SAD is hitting, alive and well. I'm trying to get on with stuff, like prep for christmas, write a paper and generally do school work, but instead find myself not really budging from the sofa, which just upsets me further. Am back on antibiotics again as I seem to have a mystery infection in armpit / lymph nodes on the right, but no other symptoms, which is slightly freaky and worrying.
Don't sleep through the night at the moment. Border on panic attacks for no reason and feel rather fragile most of the time. Worst of all though is picking apart my marriage, which is fine and healthy and just normal if only I'd leave it alone. I found myself lying in bed last night with DT peacefully asleep next to me, mind whirling and wondering who would get the dog if we got divorced! So not going to happen and I know it, but the prodding isn't helping.
DT has kindly offered to buy me a few month membership to the gym. My favourite ways of exercising are running and swimming, but I find that running in winter makes my toes go all arthritis-y and painful and so I do this yo-yo of getting up to speed and distance and then toesies kick in and I'm back to square one. And we don't have room for a treadmill in the house at this stage - so gym it is instead.
This is both very sweet of him and also something that is getting me slightly excited and positive and anyone of those is a good thing.
Sorry. This place seems to be where I vent. As you were.
Discuss this Journal entry [22]
Latest reply: Nov 29, 2009
A little advice please!
Posted Oct 18, 2009
Post blob-ectomy I've been trying to increase my exercise with the aim of getting fitter and more able to do physical activities in June when we next go on holiday. I'm really into snorkelling, kayaking and would like to try some surfing as well, all of which require a more lithe / fit body than I currently possess.
Obviously, 'dieting' would help to some extent and I know the formula = eat less, exercise more.
But that's where I have a problem. My chosen forms of exercise are running and yoga, on alternate days. As I am still getting used to the changed workload at school from last year, this is currently the target and is not often met. I haven't given up on it yet though and will continue to refine my schedule until it is routine, like breathing!
However, when it comes to what I eat, I'm more confused and don't really know where I should cut down / reduce things. I know that I don't cope well with feeling hungry and that smaller more frequent meals make me feel better than three squares.
But what can I cut down? What should I eat more of? What less?
To give you an idea:
I can't eat apples, pears, cherries, strawberries, peaches, hazelnuts, peanuts, or any other kind of nut. I don't drink tea or coffee or alcohol or generally speaking, sugared sodas.
I don't eat red meat, generally speaking, and nothing I cook is ever deep fried. Mostly, I boil, bake, grill or fry in sunflower oil (about a spoonful at a time).
Where I know I'm doing the wrong thing to lose weight:
I eat too much cheese (my biggest fat intake comes from cheese, daily) and quite regular ice cream. I eat chocolate sometimes. I eat baked crisps sometimes. I eat pastries sometimes. (by sometimes, I mean about once a week, truly.)
I mainly drink water, orange juice and Pepsi max.
DT makes a packed lunch for me to take with me - usually involves a carton of orange juice and a breakfast bar, a sandwich, some baked crisps, a can of pepsi max, and sometimes a little treat. I also usually pick up a bottle of water during the day.
A typical menu for us in a week:
baked potatoes (mine usually with tuna mayo and cheese, or baked beans and cheese)
chicken fajitas (1 chicken breast for 2, onion, pepper, tortillas, cheese, creme fraiche)
spaghetti bolognaise (with soy mince)
sweet & sour stir fry (ready vegetables, fresh noodles, 1 chicken breast for 2)
bean burritos (refried beans, rice, onion, pepper, tomato, cheese, tortillas, creme fraiche)
chicken burger & chips (1 chicken breast for 2, the usual trimmings, oven-baked low fat chips)
and usually one night a week where we have no clue what to make and end up having a sandwich, or beans on toast, or soup, or an omelette, or a takeaway.
We don't eat fast food. We cook. We plan our meals in advance on a calendar. We've gotten better at portion sizes although they are still somewhat generous on occasion. Our biggest meal is in the evening, usually between 8-9pm.
So, you beautiful & clever people, what can you advise?
Have I answered my own questions? Am I missing some amazing trick?
Discuss this Journal entry [20]
Latest reply: Oct 18, 2009
I do what I want to because...
Posted Sep 23, 2009
I wear what I want to wear and I feel comfortable in, as if I let other people's opinion stop me, I'd have to walk around naked.
I eat what I want to eat because my mother is not here to make me eat meat / greens / fish (insert own pet peeve food here).
I do what I want to do because it makes me happier than doing what others want me to do.
I try everything and try to regret nothing.
You?
Discuss this Journal entry [19]
Latest reply: Sep 23, 2009
I Finish
Posted May 8, 2009
As of today in theory my first whole year at university is complete.
In reality I have to pop in first thing Monday morning with my plinth as one was not provided for me and I have to build it myself over the weekend and set everything up then.
Then it's a tense wait until the following week when our show starts off with a private view and then continues for 2 weeks.
The day after the private view we will have our results, at which point we will also get our results. If successful in obtaining a Level 3 grade we're sorted, otherwise we have to do a referral task to improve our grade.
Then we have to invigilate our show and then we take it all down after two weeks and this whole year is done.
It's been quite a hard one actually - around half the group that started in September has dropped out - so it feels like even more of an accomplishment to have done this.
Discuss this Journal entry [35]
Latest reply: May 8, 2009
A Difficult Choice - Women Specific
Posted Nov 15, 2008
Right, here goes:
If you in your body etc. were found to be incapable of carrying a child to term for your health or the child's, what would your personal Plan B consist of?
Obvious choices are:
to put up with it
- pets
- other activities
adoption
- from your own country
- from overseas
fostering
surrogacy
- direct
- host
- stranger
- familial
In this instance I'm not talking about difficulty conceiving, where IVF would be of help, but of physical reasons why you might be unable to safely carry a healthy child to term.
Obviously, this is all meant in the hypothetical but I figure there are some very clever people on here and surely some of you will have great ideas about this sort of thing, same as every other thing.
Discuss this Journal entry [47]
Latest reply: Nov 15, 2008
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