Journal Entries
updates..
Posted Feb 1, 2004
..for those who care, i've changed my email contact info on my uspace since my old one isn't working due to technical difficulties with jeremiad. (
) also, nyssabird is no longer my handle for aol messenging. i never really did like nyssabird in the first place. when i bought a computer a few years ago, i got a year of free aol, and, stupid me, i signed up. virtually every nyssa related name was taken (nyssa having been my alternate name for everything since i was little and watched doctor who on PBS 
). finally nyssabird came up as free and a snagged it because i abhor email addresses like nyssa173987234absexykitty at whateverwhatever. even something semi-reasonable like nyssa_1978 seems too cheesy to me 
. mner. anyway, same went for hootoo, and nyssabird was free so i took it. it being a bbc, i.e. british site, i figured that nyssa would have been already taken as a title handle as well. oddly enough, in the year and a bit that i've been here, i've not run across a nyssa...
anyway, handle ponderation is trying. i thought about being something like Ichthyssa because ichthys is fish, of course, and i belong to jamie-fish ..problem is, it sounds stupid. too bad that i dislike my real name as well. Lanna is just so...mner. noncommittal as i am about most things, this should come as no surprise. i guess my best other idea was to just call myself Isis, after that cool-*ss bob dylan song. but then that smacks of spirituality that i just don't have. i don't want to come across new agey of all things 
.
work has been less painfully annoying than usual, mostly because i don't work mornings anymore. and sometimes funny thoughts do occur..like today i noticed a new book called 'Bush's Brain.' Wow, I thought, if someone has found his brain, they had better let him know, because he could really use it! mnerherher. 
In other news, james is stanky!! stanky, stanky!! 
Discuss this Journal entry [16]
Latest reply: Feb 1, 2004
Salvame..
Posted Jan 29, 2004
Hmm..the word salve is much like the word salvation. I wonder which I need .
Things are not going well. Noooootttt wellll..... If any of you are hiding super hero powers, let me know. Though you can't email me, because our webhost went bunk 
. Well, that's not true..I can be mailed at my old university account..assuming that doesn't get deleted soon. James and Mom aren't talking, the kids are freaking out, James and I keep arguing about Javascript, which I'm sure hides the real undertones, though I must stress that we are still getting along. We have to ...we're in survival mode! 
I have no energy and waste the little I have coding a new page. Which still sucks, needless to say.
OK, the thing is...normally, I have a backup plan emergency override thing in place for when the situation is too fubr-ed to salvage (ooOOoo..another word like save). Things is..now I don't. I let it all go to the wind - I have no car, I have no home, no money to speak of...my only lifeline is that hardly tolerable job. That would be ok except we won't survive the 6 months requisite for us to save enough to move to england..and I..can't..fix..it. I don't know what to do. I feel worse than out of control - I feel responsible for *as well as* in control of a ship that looks like it will sink - and my hands are tied around the mast so I can't fix anything nor can I escape. James feels similarly. The big feersum variable is how long we'll stay afloat. Given data I have already, I give us two weeks . Mner..life is funny. It's when you know you can't run away that you suddenly become a flight risk. And break your neck pulling at the leash .
Discuss this Journal entry [17]
Latest reply: Jan 29, 2004
Yes yes ohhhhh yes
Posted Jan 23, 2004
I like codeine. Bless mom for blessing me with codeine.
So...I've been coding a new website..my latest trick is superpimposing divs on each other ooOOooOOoo . Problem is, it looks like CR*P. Yeesh. And not just in the usual Lanna self-deprecatory manner - it seriously does look sehr crappig. And I don't know why.... Speaking of webby things, f*cking endore hasn't had our site up for like a week. Has dude just not noticed? So all those reams of email I know you've all been sending me 
, alas, have not arrived. Reams...email. Funny.
Also...work is such an interesting study in white-trash psychology. My favorite so far is the lady from the sticks who came in with a basket of like 40 cds to sell (yes..we buy used CDs ) that someone had left in her barn (barn?!?!). I take one look at the raggie collection and remind her gently that we only take CDs that have all their original cover art, cases in good condition, and unscratched CDs. In their basket were CDs without cover art - marginally understandable, but they also had CDs in thing plastic covers, and even cases with cover art - with no CDs in them!! I'm really hoping they had just not bothered to look rather than really expected us to buy an empty case. Anyway, they set themselves to sorting them. After about 15 minutes they were ready and I resorted them. If you know me, you know I can't stand having dusty fingers. Well, for this woman's music melange, I had to go to the sink and get wet paper towels to clean the barn muck off her CD cases! Out of all those CDs, maybe 10 were passable enough to look up in the computer. Of those, which were terribly obscure and I had to search extensively for each separately (
..incidentally, this only happens when the store is hopping - I think they can smell when you're busy and aggravated) only one was in the system, for which we could give her....$1.00!!!! She thought that was a bunch of crap, and decided not to sell it after all. For *her* trouble, I offered her a free movie rental (american trash loves to be soothed with freebies), but she said she wouldn't be in..I certainly hope she didn't drive in all the way from the boondocks just to make some CD profit. This all took about..oh..45 minutes.
Frequently we have snobby teenagers as well. They'll be the ones who call 15 minutes before we're open - at which time I'll answer sweetly 'Hastings Security', i.e. not f*cking open and able to help you - and she'll babble something about 'yeah, could you tell me if you have Jessica Simpson's CD in? Omigod, totally' to which I'll say that if she would call after we're open someone will be happy to help her, to which she replies 'you can't help me now?' . Omigod. I wish I could say things like 'I'm so totally sorry - but our b*tch translator doesn't come on shift 'till 10. Could you, like, call back then?'
The people who generally answer the phones are the people working the registers, and we all say this line - 'Thank you for calling HAstings, this is , how can I *direct* your call?' People invariably will start rattling immediately (remember we're liking in the middle of something) 'yeah I need to you look up my account my name is karen mosey, m-o-s-e...' to which I'm mentally throwing my hands up for her to hold on. Christ, I'm not a soothsayer, and as my computer is busy with a customer who bothered to drag his *ss down here in person, I can't really tell you how much you have in late fees at this precise moment. And these are the people who just can't abide with being put on hold. 
. On the other hand, my very favorite people are those who call, and pleasantly ask to be transferred to the book department. Ah...they deserve an exra jewel in their crown in heaven.
Then other times people are just plain wierd. Like this guy dressed smartly in a business suit one day. I ask how he is, he answers 'spectacular! without a hint of sarcasm, then returns the question. I say something about not spectacular, but certainly ok. He gives a mystical, knowing sort of look and says 'you *could* be, you know.' I quirk an eyebrow and say 'yeah, mind of matter or something, I suppose.' He raises a finger and says 'mind over *mind*.' 
He must be a motivational speaker or something. Or just...odd. But at least he was pleasant..and didn't make me wipe barn muck off of anything.
Discuss this Journal entry [22]
Latest reply: Jan 23, 2004
On doing pills..
Posted Jan 21, 2004
..of the legal sort of course .
I decided that my fatigue had gotten to a point that I needed to do something tangible about it. So..I consulted my sister who is a dietician-to-be about supplements. I know that I'm prone already to anemia, so iron was a concern as was calcium, and whatever I'm missing as a vegetarian.
So..I then found myself going through all the vitamins at the store. Sis said that I shouldn't take calcium with iron as they compete for the same receptors. I also needed to be careful to find a non-heme (animal) iron source. When I do take the iron I should also have a citrus food to help with absorption. Found a multiple but it was lacking zinc. Tried to find calcium with zinc. No dice. The multiple had D so I got plain calcium (carbonate, which means I'll take somewhat more than if it were citrate) and a separate bottle of zinc. Also, got a big bag of walnuts - walnuts are one of the few non-animal sources of omega-3 fatty acids. I think 1/4 cup a day is about right. I will also be force-feeding them to Njan and the kids.
Hopefully I'll start feeling noticeably better. In the meantime, I'm very, very tired. 
Discuss this Journal entry [13]
Latest reply: Jan 21, 2004
In need of some catharsis...
Posted Jan 16, 2004
Just things in the air I guess.
Work is odd. Don't much like it, even though I like it. I wish I had two lives, then I wouldn't feel so bad when Nyssa cries into my lap that she is sad when I leave her to work. It amazes me quite how much it takes from my life to work..focusing my precious, scant energy outside of my little nest, even just having new things i have to think about. I don't mentally multi-task well, to say the least. I'm not cut out for the multiple roles thing. I know what you're thinking. What a wimp. Yeah, but give me a break. I'll eventually get used to it (thought my babies will never be small again, and that's what really bothers me I think.)
Had a near-death experience today of the electronic kind - almost lost the last several years worth of my writing and photos because a hard drive got wiped. Bless James though, the paranoid dear found a panic copy on an old forgotten drive. The only point of great annoyance now is the fact that the new website I coded - which I just finished yesterday! - is bye-bye. Ah well. At least I can consider thoroughly the merits of that particular design (especially since I have no time to recode ).
I hope everyone is well. Can't believe february is almost upon us.
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Jan 16, 2004
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Haylle (Nyssabird) ? mg to recovery
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