h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, what happened to the hordes of attractive women that were falling at your feet that you felt you had to, in your words not mine, 'settle for second best'.

I moved to a place where all the atractive women are taken.

I'll move there then.

Look, I know you want me desperately, your lust me driving you crazy with desire, but wouldn't it be better if we got to know each other a little better first before you do something so drastic?

Nah, it'll be much more comedic if I did it that way!

Well then, I'll have to get some super-mega-large prophylactics from somewhere

Why? Do you think I'm going to suck your blood?

No, I meant prophylactic in the sense of contraceptive devices.

Oh and not in the context of malaria tablets. Shame really...

of course if you're into biting..well I'll try most things.

Well extend that view to doing the laundry and refraining sexist comments and we might get somewhere.

Aww, you know my sexist comments are all in good fun.

Meh...either way fine!

here, have some

Unless it's a Bing Bang or a Silverqueen, I'm not interested!

Unless it's who or the what now?

Well Bing Bang's are really cheap chocolate that comes in box of twenty decent sized bars for about £1.20. Silverqueens have cashew nuts in 'em!

Eugh! Cashews? I do not buy such filth!!!!!

But cashew nuts, I've seen them, there the future!

I thought that was oranges