h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why would we disagree with you? You might hit me : There is, as horrible as it can* be agency work... A friend did it for a while, during all his summer vaccations from university, and then when he finished he did it for nearly a year, whilst looking for a job he'd like* to do... A lot was working in really s***t jobs; chicken factory etc... But he did a big spell at a job where they had to cut flowers if you like that kind of thing I guess.. must admitt it all sounds horrid to me... So I don't even know why I bothered suggesting it... Well, cause I'm stupid is the obvious answer as to why I suggested it

Well at least I'm not normally one for cliches. I'm a bizarre mixture of idealist and realist. So I might tell you how it should be, but also admit that it isn't and what to do about it in practice.

I've done some "temp"ing - it can be tedious but survivable (I got some really weird ones because of my qualifications). Have you considered tutoring in any subjects? You do have to put up with meeting people for both of these but for the latter they usually come to you.

After I moved away from home, I had a few weeks signing on and did have physical problems with actually doing it (allergies and asthma) - as well as moral objections to remaining in that state. One funny thing was that they like to drop by on you and check you're actually looking for work and not living it up. When they finally got round to ringing on my doorbell, I happened to be on the phone accepting a job while sitting in a room almost completely devoid of furniture or any luxuries. The inspector chap didn't stay long, need to ask anything or even have much to say! The only other time I was on benefit payments was because I was chronically ill and the doctors were refusing to fix me. I finally conned them into giving me the correct treatment. Normally I object to underhand tactics but, with my health at stake and their stupidity in the way, it was absolutely necessary in this case.

I can't give you a job, Saturnine. I don't really have anything which needs doing that I would want anyone else to do - except a little building work. I'm already getting CVs from strange Indians for some inexplicable reason. I blame Yahoo. They probably think I'm someone else.

Not helpful.

It hard to be odd.. (and I mean odd in the best, superior-to-normal sense possible)

If you can raise a few hundred quid, you always have the offer open to come hang out with me for a few months - I feed and nurture and pet you and you can be cranky and go climb trees and write sh*t . What writer *wouldn't* want the american trailer trash experience?

OK, now we know what you aren't and what you are, but mostly what you can't do. What can you do? Well, you must type at a fair speed since you post rapidly. You are knowledgeable about quite a few things you are interested in. You like people and seem to get on with them fairly well (well, mostly!).

I think the job agency idea is a good one, especially if they test you for skills. You may not get your dream job but at least it's a start.

Well y'see, that's all I want to do really. Get plane tickets, go stay places, write stuff.

*is at least thinking of the temping idea, which she has no clue about*

Ah. Constructiveness. *thinks*

*still though*

Well what do you think might be helpful? I can't go back and change your parents for you. There's never a functional TARDIS around when you need one (the dimensional stabiliser on mine is stuck in the pencil box size so I can't get in). Is there a specific problem with the signing on thing? Have you considered asking the local Citizen's Advice Bureau (CAB) for help? They tend to be better at knowing the benefits system and more helpful than many of the DSS officials. They are less good at actually finding work for people, but can sort out work related forms, loans and benefits too (eg getting a car for someone who couldn't take a job he'd been offered without having one).

Another unhelpful comment is that in many places there is very little unemployment at the moment. So it ought to be easier to get a job than at many other times. However, employers are often entirely unreasonable about the qualifications/experience an employee should have and unwilling to train them. How low are you prepared to set your standards in order to have a job, any job, just to get started? NB this sometimes causes problems with benefits - which is another reason to consult the CAB.

Well personally I think those of us with net access might be able to help. Even me thousands of miles away. If you would like I could do a search for agencies in Bristol.

It sounds almost as though you want to be a travel writer, or even a holiday rep. - although you might hate that.

I think having saturnine coming to live with u.. I mean, go to live with nyssa is a good idea. *nod*.. especially if it's sometime in the future longer than three months away.

Maybe you could pick up on the backpacker thing - there are plenty of books that describe how to move about cheaply and freely. If you're ready for that kind of independence, now might be the perfect time in your life to do so. . I think our very own Xanatic is doing much the same thing; you might chat with him. With Hootoo, I imagine that if you were down and out, there are enough people scattered about that *somebody* could harbor you for a bit, get your showered and fed and renewed. An idea anyway, and with spring just around the corner (i.e. fair weather for sleeping outside if you have to , you might give it some thought.

Bristol Citizens Advice Bureau, 12 Broad St, Bristol BS1 2HL (0117 9211664)

tempz.com (0870 160 1230) claim to have jobs in Bristol - latest is a receptionist one. They also cover telesales and accountancy judging by the other ones, so it is probably general clerical stuff. You are supposed to register online but you can also phone in your information (what you've got and what you want) and they'll email/phone/txt-msg you when they find a suitable job.

WARNING: if you do any work for a temp agency, you MUST keep your own copies of what work you do and what you are paid (eg payslips) including the NI and Tax information.

It turned out that one of the agencies I worked for was dodgy and had not returned this information to the Inland Revenue themselves. The IRS demanded my original payslips, which I took in by hand, but they then promptly lost them and later demanded originals again. Naturally I hadn't got them the second time round. If I ever got stuck doing this again, I would refuse to hand over my originals to such incompetent government officials and instead stand over them while they made photocopies! Anyhow the result of all this was that my NI record has a big hole in it but I got some tax back from other jobs because they didn't believe I had had the previous jobs and money. Since my retirement plan didn't include relying on NI anyway, you could call that a net financial gain.

I think the Nyssa thing is a great idea! Very thoughtful and kind of her to offer. Perhaps she would let you use her web access a little and you could look for work that way too!

And when you get tired of Nyssa, you can always come hang out with me. I might not be as much fun as Nyssa, but I'll wager that you can find something in Southern California to amuse yourself with. If you can weird-out my roommates, so much the better.

Can I refer you to the first post in this thread, and remind you that I'm not exactly feeling 100% mentally competent as of this moment. I would love to visit you all but I have not the means right now. Be it financially or mentally.

I know what you mean about signing on...I chickened out, the job centre is intimidating enough as it is...as for convincing someone to give you cash.

If you just want some cash for a job that wont take up all of your day and one that wont stress you out...have you considered cleaning? I know it sounds a bit crap...and it is, but the money is quite good (Bristol Uni is advertising for a part time cleaner for a hall of residence at just over £5 an hour...works out at £100 a week minus tax for 4 hours work a day emptying bins, wiping down cookers and hoovering). It's not glamourous but its no strings attached cash...you're not afraid of hard work (or at least thats the impression you give when talking about your last job) and for the most part you will be working on your own so there is no pressure to socialise if you don't want to.

Temping can be great (all though I ended up staying in my first assignment for 9 months) but the constant change can be a bit depressing - starting again every week when you don't know the ropes and always having to fit in with a new group of people...I don't think I could have done the multiple assignments jobby...It takes me long enough to learn peoples names and do more than smile hello in the mornings.

My last job *was* cleaning