h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Whenever I get called to the bar, I always try to speak english as clearly as my numb lips will allow. And, knowing me, as you do, I'm sure you have some idea of the philososphy I get around to.

See, there Lady Scott. I jusss knew you'd enjoy that!

Oooooo wave action! You sly girl you! AR1

...*three tanned...musclebound Chippendale Dancers pop along side AR1...as they dance around her...the waves arn't the only thing getting some action...if ya' know what I mean...*
You go with you're bad ole' self!WHHOO-HOO!

...*sets trays along all sides of the pool with a variety of warm and cool beverages...and fresh strawberries...*

*stops swimming in mid-stroke*


Did someone say ?

...*kicks the jukebox and Glen Miller's 'In The Mood' plays...*

Ooooooooh, *and* a little Glen Miller...

Lady Scott, may I ask you a question<?> It has to do with my afternoon naps....*shuffels her shoulders to Glen Miller...has just returned from a wedding celebreation-inebreation...*I had shoooow
mussh fun.pardon-thehell-outta' me.

Very dear Pandora, big

Chippendales??!!! But can they swim?
Perhaps on the other hand we won't have waves in the pool. It will disturb the party snakcs and drinks which you are so carefully putting out. They sound grand, and I am enjoying them.
It is so hot that I am starting with a long coooold beer. werhen I think I shall hav a glorious Pimms No. 1. with a blue borage flour to top it.

It is fun that we are on line at the same time. It is 20 past seven in the evening here in Sevenoaks Kent U.k. What time is it with you?

Lady Scott come and join us at the poolside bar won't you? How is your daughter?She must be enjoing the heat in the UK.
With to all

AR1

...*looks at the clock...* I never understood if the BIG hand was the long one or the short FAT one.

It's 2:43 p.m. No, it's 2:44 p.m. I could go on like this all night. But I won't

Who give a care if the Chiipy's can swim?!...*passes AR1 a lipstick...*Why do you think they call it 'the kiss of life'?

Oh dear !! I never realised that was the reason. !! How stupid can one be.

If it were not for you dear pandora I would die as innocent as the day I was born!!. But please do not watch the big hand and the little hand all night You will ne I only wanted one time. Now I know the time difference between there and here - or here and there. Whichever you prefer!!.

With much affection

AR1

Yes, Amy+ is enjoying her visit to England. Clive took her to see York, including the Minster and the Roman fortifications on Doobry, and they had a very good time.


*backstrokes for a bit*

Ya' know, AR1. I think some people are a bit off put by the way I do not change my speaker-izims when speaking to you.
I would jusss like to take this oppurtunity to tell those
caring souls to BITEME!

BTW,that shade of lip-stuff looks mavalous dahlink.

Don't you worry Hon, I'm gonna' get you into this mae-liniuminunim
dragged kicking and screaming if necessary.
'Course, it'll probably be the gents who get in *our* way who'll
be doing the kicking as well as the screaming.

Anything to put a smile on your golden face and a bubble
of laughter in you heart. Lord knows we don't want an ACTUAL bubbly in your !!

Much affection in your direction!

...*pssstt...*think we outta' tell Lady Scott one of her *ahem*
"girls" have popped out of her garment whilst doing the backstroke?
Or jusss let her be?

*flips over and remedies the situation*

It was AR1's fault! All that talking about waves!
The first time I spent any time at the Ocean, that would have been
the night after graduating from H.S.....I hopped into a car with some frieds who were heading to Camp LeJune N.C. Marine Corps.
I stayed in off base housing with a few friends.
The very first day I spent at the beachI was wearing clothes. As the trip was a surprise. My friend Janet had me walk backwards so she could take a picture of me. She kept saying turn this way, turn that way, etc.. Little did I know that a HUGE wave was building behind me.

She took a picture of me standing there...before the wave...going under...during the wave...and sitting there...after the wave!
She knew what a strong swimmer I was, so she wasn't concerned when the second wave hit either.
...*whispers...*it knocked my peasany shirt right off of me, and me having nothing under said shirt...I fell face first into the sand
as not to show myto all those big hunky Marines.
As Janet laughed herself to the ground...on of those big fella's
came to rescue me!...I kept crawling backward...telling him to,
"Go AWAY!"...the waves kept knocking my shirt about until one of the
Marines picked it up and with a huge smile on his face, walked into
the surf and handed me my shirt!
...*hears Andrew Loyd Webber's: 'Memories'...*

Oh my dear Pandora

Every time I read your post you make me laugh!!. You have ever since I found you under the table at the Harvest Festival last year looking like the Queen Mum with black tresses!!.

Now, Lady Scott you must have done a VERY quick flip over to get it back in!!. Fortunately the pool was relatively quiet at the time.

The story of the wave, your friend Janet and the Marines was hilarious. Some friend my dear.!! But at least she knew that you could be knocked sideways by a couple of waves and not drown in the process. It is very frightening. I am so glad that it was a nice Marine who brought you your blouse. Howe on earth did you lose that? Or perhaps I should'nt ask.

It reminds me of about 58 years ago when my sister and I had a party at home and we were playing a game called Donkey round the table tennis table. One had to hit the ball, and then run round to the other side and hit it again if possible. On the way round I lost my knickers. I was Soooooooo and humiliated and felt so I did not know what to d. I had to pick them up and walk out. I do not think that my current boyfriend dropped me. I think he laughed about it. But I still remember my shame!!.

Oh well. You always make me remember the happy laughing times.

With fond to you both. I am so pleased that the two are enjoying themselves in the UK. The weather has been very warm.

AR1

Lost your knockers hey? I find that's best remedied by not wearing any.

AR1, I do believe I was put on the to make people laugh.
I was the only one, out of 22 grandchidren, who ever made my grandmother laugh. I always told her the truth and I always told it in the most humorous way possible. I was also the only one who was NEVER once clobbered by her and that wooden spoon of hers!

I knew you had exceptionally good taste in comedy the day we met at the Harvest Fest! ...*sees The Queen Mum...curties...offers rose...
waits...waits...sees The Queen Mum holding out a rose...spins around...The Queen Mum spins around...does her best Patty Duke mirrored skit...licks her finger...The Queen Mum licks HER finger...wipes a streak of theatre make-up off face...*Good one!


I shall just be over there building a huge wig-wam so we can all take a steam before the soltice...we shall heat the rocks...smoke the pipe
and go on a dream quest!

I mean 'knickers'...hahaha...

I was wondering... Didn't think knockers could fall off

No, and when they're small enough, it's easy to get them back in the swimsuit... in fact, they don't usually fall out to begin with, unless all the elastic in the swimsuit is shot!

Good--if they fell off, it's make breastfeeding really really difficult...

(Oh, don't look so surprised--I'm getting a bit obsessed... Of course, spending lunchtime looking at baby stuff likely doesn't help any)

Never seen any fall off yet!

Me neither! Although I have seen tissue afloat in a pool.

...*waves at PaperBaby...*