h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Homer will write about his odyssey across Scotland chased by women hitting them with their and then still chasing when he escapes to Greece.

It will becalled Homers Obsessive Odyssey to escape from the from Scotland with their mighty heavy .

and the boat! mustn't forget the boat bit. I'm guessing he'll spin some loch-y monsters into his tale

Nee the BAot, Nee nee neep not the boat... Nere neep nee we forget the boat, then we nee neep near forget the nee neeping boat nee neeps, as my Old Aunt Dorris used to say.

if ye tek the high road, an Homer teks the low road, ther boat will be in Greece afore yer
fer you an his true love will ne'er meet again on the bonny bonny banks o' loch uptight

Ner neep nee boat on ye high road; there be dragooons!

The boat will be full of neeps as Homer takes a leap from it as he is chased by the Aye Aye clones of Turnberry the dreaded golfing widows who take out on all unsuspecting men with their deadly .

Homer has had one too many and now he is singing a very weird song.

"Oh my neighbour is such a labour, when she waives her saber.
She bangs her tabor whenever she gets lost in her bedchamber.
And at least four times a day she shouts down her telephone,
to ask the council to send her their engineering clones, that are all called Tone."

Homer's neighbour has flipped she has opened all the windows and has thrown her television out whilst having her radio and cd's both blaring out Lilly Allen and Lady Ga Ga songs.

but she kept her recording of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1htHgwD-Fso

She not only did that but also had a recordings of:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZKiLx9X320

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuwCXo9qcpw

while her partener has http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm6EFaGft5A&feature=related

And they will be eating a full cooked breakfast every morning and they will eat apple pie served with ice cream every night.

And perhaps they will join Homer in their quest to eat as much as possible:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkTQFjpYRA0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLTmWFtqcSo

even this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhHrOgOkXZw is preferable to Homer Simpleton

*looks round for somewhere to put coat before fight*

and now to be sensible

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-IcQSv5Qa4

This what Homer looks like and when he is with my neighbour this is what he gets up to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIaTkB9m0SA

Great !

but why was he impersonaging me?

Because he had one too many as he thought he was holidaying in Ibiza.