h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

They are now drinking more with the shouting in the bar as they become legless.

'Ah hinny will you get me my pinny, I left it in the bar '. 'I cannae get the bar, as me legs won't let me as I have been struck down by cramp in my feet, legs, arms, shoulders, hands and mouth, but I won't have it any other way.' 'Aye, yer a martyr to the cause, oor Ashley was the same and spent most of her days nattering to herself in technobabble. And no-one understood whoot she was saying at the end. What was worse is when she got cramp on the brain and told everyone of her glorious cramp attaccks in great detail.' 'Aye she even tried putting corks at the end of the bed to give her more cramp, but nothing worked.' 'Aye, she'd natter away to herself on her magic course in and I heard that she made up spells to give herself more wonderful cramp, did work for a while and she got cramp even in her nose, ears, lps, tongue, teeth and gums, but she enjoyed it.'

Banned from that boat, she is !

They ended up dancing on the tables and after a few ended up legless underneath the tables.

At least the tables had legs...

not necessarily in that order

There was a karokee going where they sang to 'My achey breaky heart' to the delight of the rest of coach party. As many moons ago in the early 90's, a mysterious country and western singer would come to the Commercial Hotel where the locals begged him to sing 'My achey breaky heart' for every night that he appeared. This lasted for for five years and it stopped when the mysterious country and western singer did not come anymore. Some say he was abducted by , some say he became a mutant and joined the X-men but more reliable sources say that he is receiving therapy after been made to sing the same song for 25 hours every week. And now he is a politican.

Understand that the pay's not THAT good... but the expenses are GREAT !

He now has four second homes all fitted with drawbridge and moats, a fleet of cars, a fleet of runabouts all got from a group of passing Ferengi's from Deep Space Nine. To win the election he got a powerful draught from the Ferengi to be put in the Ayrshire water supply to get people to vote for him. And a large number did, even though they did not know why they voted for him.

he was photographed with some ever so cute duckie duckies

*imagine smiley of a big fat smiling duck living in a chateau*

They are fed the finest smoked caviar and drink champagne out of a glass slipper. Then they are told bedtime stores from presenters of 'Springwatch' and all the other wildlife programmes.'

A duck, a duck....

a kingdom in exchange for a duck

saieth the republican

I have built replicas of you all out of lego. Lifelike, ain't they?
I hope you like them!

That eagle needs hair !

Wothy of a place at the Tate Modern. Many art critics here are rambling on to themselves of the beauty of the birds and what is the artist trying to convey. Then they finish off with a collective head banging contest to see who can bang their heads together the longest.

thickest hair wins

Now they are listening to 'I remember you' by Frankie Field which is having the art critics screaming for it to stop whilst waiving their hands in the air and running around in ever diminishing circles before they disappear in a puff of smoke.

Field? U field? I field?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RhMoC6kjMQ

fielders

Then followed by The Who with the Magic Bus (but to me it sounded more like Dubai The Magic Run)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&v=bl9bvuAV-Ao

This is a very dangerous song and you must be clear of all sharp objects and be surrounded by cushions incase you get the urge to bang your head against the all. It is was one of the unknown sideeffects of listening to too much Who songs.

The wearing of frilly shirts will henceforth by banned on this thread. Fringed jackets are acceptable

Singing is dependant on the virtuousity of the performer

*Davic Bowie impression*