h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He got side-tracked in Vegas on route
as the bright lights and shows were a hoot
but in playing black-jack
lost the quills off his back
and so nearly left bald as a coot.

He was saved by a show-girl he'd met
who was studying hard as a vet.
She thought it a pity
a parrot so pretty
should lose all those feathers he'd bet.

So she helped him to just disappear
through the kitchens and out at the rear.
They exchanged names and such
before parting with much
friendly petting and just the odd tear.

Is it really that wise, or that sage,
To keep poor o'Homer locked in a cage?
A bird of that joi-de-vie,
Deserves to be free,
And as a tour guide, just think of the wage!




......Next on BBC2 a rough (Parrot) guide to Bangkok.....

Now a parrot may be on the run
without worrying what will be done
to pursue him at length
or in numbers or strength
since each parrot looks like any one.

So he spent quite some time on the beach
reading books and with drinks just in reach.
As his plumage it moulted
that debt he'd defaulted
grew less as he forwarded each.

A Parrot with nothing to do,
May taunt his brethren up at the zoo,
He got them perturbed,
By singing 'Free as a bird'
By Lennon (and McCartney too)

Now the nights he enjoyed even more
with folk partying down on the shore.
He acquired some fame
at the board-walking game
which exceeded his exploits before.

SEF were you Edward Lear in a previous life?

A musician called SEF
Quoted parrot limericks with every breath
The two couplets in the middle
He often could fiddle
but finding scanning rhymes on the outside nearly caused his death.

Parrot Ahoy.......

Is it blue ?

Is it a clone ?


No, it's Homer !



Paddle faster, he's getting away

*discovers amazing secret.*

All the evil parrot clones will self combust after a week cause they aren't very good copies!

LOOK LOOK LOOK PARROT!

It's in Pattaya (horrible seedy Thai beach place)...

*SURFACES IN U BOAT, fires a net at Homer, it gets him*
parrot has been aprehended, lets get him back to spook.

Check the tag!

*checks tag*
it says:
Homer
Owner Spookacious O
Likes
dislikes fruit
if found please return to me, spook!
So is he your parrot spook?

but does it have the holographic symbol?

SEF - I am truly impressed with your limerick writing abilities. Seeing as how it's just you and me on the thread at the moment shall we deliver Homer to Spook or allow him continued exploits up the western coast? I've heard Alaska is beautiful this time of year.

While moulting Homer got a wild hair
to see a Kodiak bear.
It's off to the island
determined to find one
depite risk to life and limb there.

The Parrot is now playing at the World Snooker Championship at Shenfield. He is also one of announcers/presenters. He tends to get sick as a parrot when he is losing.


kat