h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I thought the answer to that question was:
'You can reason with a mad cow!'

Oh, hi Gwennie!

You two must have recently taken out new life insurance policies that you want to cash in on!

I'm not going to argue about how awful women can be whilst in the throws of PMT because I'm the world's worst! The older I get, the worse my PMT seems to get and now my teenage daughter also joins me in our crabby fest so that my hubby, son and all our family pets cower in corners about the house.

Mind you, once it's all 'over' butter wouldn't melt in my mouth and I can't understand why everyone is giving me a wide berth. I also find myself having to apologise to John for the hell I've just put him through.

John's suggested that I take medication but why should I when I have so much fun? (It's the only time of the month that I can really be myself!)

*raises head cautiously. reminds himself to note Gwennie's really nasty comments, add twenty eight days and lay low for a week. starts reading sgolkcab*

Once I found out where my better-half hid her pills, I was able to plan my life a lot better... Now I can be scarce at the appropriate time and give her space do be whatever etc. she needs to be. My step-sister once commented on her brother-in-law (who has four daughters): 'Poor man - all on his own against ten ovaries!'

I can't wait for the who discovers what cycles men go through that make them insufferable and then I can make up jokes about that!

That's decidedly sneaky WR! However John doesn't have the benefit of checking my pills as I don't need the blighters because I had the snip shortly after Chris was diagnosed as having autism.

Mair (for Bassman's benefit - she's my 15 year-old teenage mutant sulk-a-lot) asked me in all seriousness whether the male menopause was a fact or myth and why did women complain about men never growing up. I pointed to my better half, slouched, surrounded by motorcycle magazines and remote controls in the depths his embarrassingly scruffy arm chair that I'm not allowed to tidy and said, "What do you think?"

Not at all sneaky, Gwennie my girl ... it's called SURVIVAL - twenty three years of it!
Not BC pills - I've been shooting blanks since Michelle was born! Low-dosage HR is what I'm talking about...

Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry!

I can't speak for other guys, but I am
apt to be insufferable when I first get
up in the morning. Once I've had my
, I'm somewhat *less* insufferable.


I don't know about male menopause, but
I think a lot of the widely-used blood-pressure
pills and anti-depressants lead to impotence.
My former boss went berserk after his blood-
pressure medication resulted in impotence.
He talked about beating the doctor who prescribed
it.

Hot, humid weather makes *everybody* miserable.
There are more flame wars online, more angry
motorists on the road, and more impatient
shoppers in the checkout lines.

We can't ban summer, though....

I am like a bear prematurely woken from hibernation before my first morning !

I find if I'm out in the sun at all for any length of time, I get ratty - so now I've taken to wearing a hat / cap. Perhaps if men and women went back to wearing hats again, they'd be less brain-fizzled?

Perhaps UV really means ULTRA VICIOUS !

I also require gallons of or in the mornings before I'm more civil to the world.

Now regarding that hot and humid weather! I'm the complete opposite to present (male) company. I love the sun and heat as it always makes me feel G-R-E-A-T and incredibly randy to boot! Mind you, it has to be really hot and humid before I remove my thermal vest! It's such a shame that I'm no longer allowed to sunbathe and I do really miss it (the sunbathing).

Poor John was prescribed beta-blockers for his migraines a few years ago and they had awful side effects. At one time his neurologist wanted to prescribe a drug that might have given John breasts and make his hair fall out. Needles to say, John declined the medication as on top of possible side effects, he would have had to have his kidney function checked every six months!

John thought I'd finally cracked this morning when I went into apoplexy at today's weather forecast on BBC News 24. Behind the weather forecaster, as a heading was 'More like summer'. Only the British would use this as a heading in a weather forecast! I know that it doesn't seem amusing now but at the time I was crying and had stitch from laughing so much.

By the by WR...Have you ever watched a British television comedy series entitled 'Men Behaving Badly'?

If it's the one about two guys living downstairs and two girls living upstairs - YES!

I remember one comedian say of summer in UK: 'We had a short summer this year ... it was on a Wednesday as I recall!'

Men Behaving Badly is one of my family's favourite programmes. T'was Garry and Tony's behaviour that prompted Mair's query as she wanted to know whether grown men really acted like that in RL.

Yes, that just about sums up our summer, especially here in the NE of England. I'm looking forward to and hoping that the weather is lovely when I spend a week with my parents back 'down south' at the end of this month. It usually is...

Go generate some Vitamin D !
Of course there's much less sun so for the same effect, you have to expose more skin!
DOM!

Were I to expose more skin, I'd probably frighten the sun behind the clouds and be lynched by the other holidaymakers!

Well, I suppose I could roll up me twousers a couple of inches, apply a knotted 'anky to me 'ead and stretch out in a stwipy deck chair on the sea fwont pwomenade!

Be daring - roll the trousers up to the knee!
You could even roll your sleeves up too!

Steady on there WR, you'll be encouraging Gwennie to unbotton her collar next



Bassman

Must learn to spell unbutton....



Bassman

Hey WR - look what I had a play with for an hour on Monday morning....

http://a1276.g.akamai.net/7/1276/734/35e70aa543c9c1/www.harley-davidson.com/PR/MOT/2003/VRSC/images/img_family_VRSC.jpg



Bassman

*Wonders how one unbottons anything*

We have just had two whole consecutive days of warm weather! (It's rained all day today though! )

Warmer weather makes me wish for leggings worn with skimpy 'strappy' (as the locals call 'em) tops and men wandering around the streets without shirts on to be made illegal! At this rate I'll be wishing the summer away before I go blind!

OK OK, I get digital dyslexic every now and again.

As for going blind - I think I'm half way there. The thing that gets me is when you pop into a large supermarket and head towards the chiller cabinets for a milk shake. All the young ladies twin thermometers tell you things aren't as warm as they were



Bassman

Aaah - the twin thermometers! Not always just an indicator - sometimes a thermostat / mood indicator too!
It's always a pleasant sight to behold - I could never stand the padded bra unless it's there to uplift the twins in a low neckline situation. I'm an ardent fan of the natural look most days - nothing like a gentle sway or bounce to raise the mood, wot!

Checked out the H-D silver dream machine - ironic isn't it that a century old American motorsickle brand needs a German sports car firm to get the recipe right? If I had one of those, I could sell it, pay off the morgage completely and still have enough to buy a new Beemer cruiser and an off-road machine with the change!
Makes you think doesn't it?

Twin thermometers? Good one! I've never heard 'em called that before but then again I don't suppose I would have...

At least female 'attributes' don't shrink in a cold environment!

So you chaps must really hate these fashionable t-shirt bras that are currently in vogue then! They're seam free and heavily padded, sometimes with a gel and have plastic straps and back so they can be worn with skimpy tops. Not that I own one of course!

My hubby has recently discovered browsing the motorcycle section on the UK E-Bay...

*Hides her debit card in an attempt to prevent John for bidding for and obtaining yet another 'project'*

Have you a similar facility in SA WR?