h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here's a challenge - whose VOICE makes you drool and in what context?

The surest vocal turn-on for me is (pre-Grease) Olivia Newton-John in 'Sam' - OOOWWWRRRRR ! ! !

I didn't mean to get launched on a
discussion of all the women that turn
men on. I was just talking about Kim
Basinger when she was in her prime.
She's an actress. Actresses use their bodies
to advance their acting careers. So do men,
if they have the right equipment. The
public knows this, and acts accordingly.


What female voice turns me on? Julie Andrews!
Still. And her body's not bad, either. I saw
her in "The Princess Diaries," and I challenge
anybody here to name another actress in her
mid-sixties who looks as young.

Bassman! John wants to know where you got the picture of Felicity Kendal from! (She's another one of his favourites!)

I like Richard Burton's voice...and his eyes...and his smile...

Shame he's no longer with us...

I've always really liked Stephen Fry's voice too...I can't think of a female voice...errrrrr....Penelope Keith or Joanna Lumley!

As far as male voices are concerned, I think Richard Harris's is best and Isaac Hayes and Barry white run a close tie for great bass voices!

I have a secret drool for Sigourney Weaver too!

I always liked the voiceover done on the first Cadbury's Caramel advert... "Hey Mr Beaver, why are you beavering around"

I later found out that it was "Nursey" from Blackadder that did it - it somehow lost the effect then!!

There used to be a show on the box called "American Gothic" that featured a school teacher with a deep Southern drawl - her voice totally did it for me



Bassman

Don't you just hate it when the real person doesn't measure up to the image in your mind!

I suppose so, but it's always great when they exceed your expectations.

When I went to the last meet up, a lady walked in, a little younger than myself, who I thought was a total babe - it turned out to be one of the researchers I'd been chatting to for some time. A very pleasant surprise



Bassman

I'm happy to take things for what they are - there is a female secretary that works for a friend of mine that I regularly chat up when I call for him. She has a really mysterious, slightly husky voice that just tightens the muscles in my nether regions.

I asked his wife if she'd met her and what she looks like (that way you get the real answer) and she says she'll not draw a second glance from anyone and was most definitely hired for her secretarial skills and not her looks or mammaries! Good business practice but not good aesthetics, wot?

You're really lucky to get to meet the researchers you talk to - I just get to chat on-line But that's good too as I can be more adventurous than I would be IRL

One of my work mates would refer to your friend's secretary as a "Spanner"



Bassman

My hubby didn't measure up to the image I had in my mind when a few years ago I came home with my first pair of spectacles!

John told me to try my new specs on, so he could have a laugh I think. I did and before he could make a rude comment, I managed to peer at him and say "God you're ugly!"

I used to speak to the husband of one of my work colleagues who he had a lovely deep voice and knowing that he played rugger imagined him to be tall, dark, muscular and....

The first time I met my friend's hubby was such a disappointment! He was shorter than me, skinny, wearing specs and a three-piece suit. Mind you, I'm a sucker for a well tailored three-piece suit and white shirt (just as much as I am for black leather or jeans!).

Sadly, I've yet to get to one of the h2g2 meets although I have met a couple of friends who have visited me at home.

I hope to be meeting up with a couple of h2g2 researchers when I visit my parents in the New Forest at the end of July.

By the by Bassman...wot's a 'spanner'?

Someone wot tightens yer nuts?


Our department ran some software to look for undesirable content on computers and it threw out our standard building specification There were scores of references to 'hardcore' and 'erection' !

(Note to moderators: Hardcore is a term referring to filling material under concrete floors that discourages riding damp and erection is the action of lifting or building a structure. Thank you!)

Many maintenance maintenance manuals for generators and equipment were also flagged for 'greasing nipples' and the like...

We have a vibrator in the Standby Altimeter on the 737 sim. It stops the movement from sticking!!

(In fact, it just replicates the noise from the similar device in the real Standby Altimeter, which is an air pressure driven instrument. The one in the sim has a dirty big electric motor in, which is much less likely to stick or seize up)



Bassman

A psychologist friend (well, ex-girlfriend actually) showed me documentary evidence that earlier in the 1900's (sounds so long ago?) it was standard practice to treat 'hysteria' in women patients by manual stimulation of their clitoral region. The patients experienced release and became more positively inclined (Freud was a dirty old man!?) Due to the 'strain' of performing so many such 'treatments' the poor psychologists / psychiatrist were forced to invent the electric motor driven device know known as the vibrator. It was one of the first electrically driven utentils invented, if not the first!

ROFL! What a good story WR! (The unsuitable content software and your psychologist friend's tale)!

As a married man, you must know that the latter doesn't always work, especially when a woman is in the throws of PMT!

The only thing that works when there are women with PMT around is digging a dirty big hole and jumping in it. It also helps to fill the hole in on top of yourself as well.



Bassman

Not if she's in charge of a JCB it isn't!

Pardon the ignorance - whats a JCB

Your igorantz is pardoned WR.

A JCB is a big tractor type vehicle and an earth moving digger with a big shovel on the back!

Aha! What my eldest son used to call a dig-dig!

Out here PMT is also called Mad Cow Disease - but I suppose that has different connotations for UK residents

I know a few jokes about this subject but presently can't recall any - I'll get back to you when I do.

What's the difference between a woman with PMT and a mad cow?




One bellows a lot and needs putting down, the other one's a mad cow!!



Bassman