h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yeah! Fred's gonna be a slobbering sniveller!

And then he'll get an irresitible urge to walk around in a silly white cap day and night. Who'll take him seriously then? Has to be a blue cap with a white tassle if you want to become a WD!

You hear that, Fred? And guess who just happens to have a blue hat with a white tassle.

Hi ho, Arthbard! Looks like we got him!

No one beats Arthbard's octagonal habedashery!

Hear that Fred? Hm. Guess he's off-line.

Yeah. He's off-line. He's off-line cause he's scared. He knows he can't compete.

He's at home slobbering and snivelling, trying to take off that white cap, trying to get his mum make him a blue one.

Only she can't do it, because he just keeps asking, "Mum, I need you to smurf me a smurf."

Ah, yeah, that's right. I forgot that part of the illness...

And when Fred realises he's the only smurf in the world who can't get a , and not to mention when he realises he won't be able to yodle *at all* -

Hehehehehehehehe!

And when he realizes that there's a lack of female smurfs and Smurfette just doesn't like him "that way."

Poor Fred, not even a lady smurf to comfort him poor poor Fred....



NOT!

He'll be too busy hiding from Gargamel to take over the world.

But Azrael will find him and gobble him up alive!

Yes! Excellent! No more Fred!

No! It's not exellent!

Fred *can't* be gobbled up alive! He's *dead*!

Well...He can be gobbled up dead, then.

Is that possible, you think? Will Azrael care about a dead smurf?

Sure, why not? As long as he doesn't smell too bad.

Well, I guess he'll smell of drunk smurf...
OK! We got him then!