The Banned - The Non-existant Band

All H2G2 welcomers, friendly people, and others, do not feel obligated to welcome the Banned to H2G2. We are a non-existant non-rock non-band, who won't be playing gigs near you very soon.

Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Arlecchino, and I don't play lead guitar for the Banned. My musical influences don't include John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Paul Simon, anyone named Paul for that matter, anyone who has Paul anywhere in their name (including first, last, middle, or maiden), and indeed, anyone who's name includes the letters P, A, U, or L. Also the Animals, Blues Traveler, Counting Crows, India Aire, Tracy Chapman, and Bill Clinton (who has been known not to play saxophone for us!).

martiansmileI'm Em and I don't play rhythm guitar for The Bannedcool. My musical influences don't include The Beatles, Lenny Kravitz, Santana, Greenday, The Foo Fighters, Badly Drawn Boy, Fuel, The Strokes, Muse, Kurt Cobain, Hole, Less than Jake, Queens of the Stone Age and Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tenacious D, The Vines, Weezer, and of course...Hendrix;-) Now, first thing we do, let's kill the lawyers.devil

coolI'm Uncle Heavy, the nonbassist of the Banned. My musical influences certainly don't range from Muse and JJ72 to Eels, Belle and Sebastian and the Kings Of Convenience. Nor are the Moldy Peaches the mutt's nutts. Portishead, Massive Attack, and DJ shadow aren't favourites of mine, nor are Orbital, Daft Punk and Kojak (hands up both of you who have heard of them). The less said of semisonic the better'.

biggrinHey ! I'm Harlequin and I don't play the drums for the Banned, my influences aren't Keith Moon or John Bonham (Even if neither of them play the drums any more sadface ) My musical influences however are Paul Weller, Ray Davies, Jimi Hendrix and Bart Simpson, all legendary non-drummers. Throw in some sixties R n'B, The Jam, Madness, Papa Roach, Linkin Park, Portishead, The Platters, The Drifters, Otis Redding, Diana Ross and the Supremes, Kellis, Macy Gray, Missy Elliot, Lil'Kim, Mystikal, Frank Sinatra and Tom Jones, and we are talking a wide musical taste. cool
Just can't stand Celine Dion though grr

Zed is our keyboard player, quiet, moody and mean, doesn't say a lot, in fact no one in the group has ever heard him speak at all. The reasons for this could be many, you may think he's suffering for his art, or he will eventually shout 'Eureka !!' on finding the perfect melody, but we've got news for you.... ZED'S DEAD BABY !! ghost Zed's influences are The Damned, Sisters of Mercy, The Meteors, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Elvis, The Dead Kennedy's, The Ramones, The Rolling Stones, Bob Marley, and the maestro himself..Andy Williams.

For those about to rock...stop it!! you're scaring us erm

If you'd like to schedule us not to play, please leave a message.

'The Banned' - Not a JWF Production.

Look out for 'Angels and Fools' The Banned's debut Album not available sometime soon !!!!

WHERE YOU CAN FIND US SEPARATELY!

Em- U129266

Arlecchino- U179295

Harlequin- U178893

Uncle Heavy- U129295

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The Banned

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