The wall, the government shutdown, bad grammar, and pizza-eating snails
Posted Jan 22, 2019
"Who should we blame for the govenment shutdown?" The Senate Majority leader said.
"That should be 'whom,' dear," said his wife. "Anyway, Let's turn on the news. They
always ahs the right answers."
"The Demnocrats are to blame, even though they weren't in control of the House until last
week. We just like to blame them for everyhting at Floss News"
There, you see?" said his wife. "You're a Republican, not a Democrat, so you won't have to eat
crow this time. I'm running out of recipes for it anyway."
She switched to another channel. "It's obvious that the Republicans are to blame. They should
stand up to what's-his-name and override his veto."
"But he just told me not to cave!"
"Dear, we're in Kentucky. There are 5,000 caves. There's one under this house, and I think the snails
have been taking all our pizzas into the caves with them."
"Fine. Let's blame the government shutdown on snails in caves."
"Could we blame pizza instead, because they're a foreign food?"
"What's-his-name likes pizza a lot, especially those double-crust ones from Pizza Cottage. You would
just upset him, dear."
"So, this government shutdown can't be resolved?"
"Only if we put up a wall to prevent foreign snails from entering the country to steal everyone's pizzas....."
"Well, how likely is that?"
"Not very, dear."
Posted Jan 16, 2019
It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I caught a glimpse of Carol Channing's true greatness. It was a video of a scene near the end of "Hello, Dolly." She was mesmerizing. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Okay, I've loved he anyway since the early 1960s, when I picked up a vinyl recording of her revue "Show Girl."
(re-issued as a limited-edition CD. All 1,000 copies sold out)
Her baritone voice is surprising, given her kewpie-doll looks. A couple years after "Show girl," she took the stage as Dolly Levi in "Hello Dolly," and three or four years after that she earned an Oscar supporting=-actress nomination for singing "Jazz baby" in "Thoroughly Modern Milly." In fact, that movie is what she's mainly remembered for as a movie actress. She was also in "First traveling saleslady" in 1956, though Ginger Rogers and Barry Nelson topped the bill.
She was a few other movies after "Milly," but let's not talk about them, all right?
Her true home was on the stage, where she was famous for Lorelei Lee in "gentlemen prefer blondes." I prefer her rendition of "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" above all others. She also replaced Rosalind Russell in a touring version of "Wonderful town." I've never heard her version of that role, but she can't have been worse than Rosalind. (If the people running Hollywood aren't crazy, then why did they think Rosalind could top Ethel Merman in "Gypsy"?
Carol devoted herself to stage work for decades after that.
I think she was wise to do that. She was wholeheartedly in love with the role of Dolly. Love should lead the way in what all of us do.
Looking for things to brighten my mood in winter's darkest hours
Posted Jan 12, 2019
January is an ordeal. After the busy Christmas season, there is suddenly nothing to really prepare for, except maybe the tax season (Do you look forward to paying taxes? Me neither!). I always plant seeds in little pots on my windowsill in March or April, but January is too early. I don't want the plants to come up in February and get long stems because there isn't yet enough light.
Mornings are nice, because I get sun exposure at the front of my house. By three p.m., the day is already almost over, which is depressing.
Sometimes I drive to a Mall that has Rainforest cafe. If I eat lunch there, I can pretend I'm in a tropical forest. It's good for an hour or so.
Or, there's always a movie set in Spring or Summer. The last scene in "Mary Poppins Returns" features a festival in a sunny park, complete with balloons and a song by Angela Lansbury. "There's nowhere to go but up" is the title. it's literally lighter than air, as the balloons pull dozens of people up into the sky. They all seem to be happy, which I appreciate a lot.
Another option would be to borrow a DVD of "South pacific" and play it. Or perhaps "Epic," which takes places in a delightful forest peopled by enchanted beings. I have my eye on "Wonder Park," which arrives here on Mach 15. Too long to wait, but maybe I can enjoy the summery trailers.
I wish we could go directly from mid-January into Spring, but that'
s noti n the cards.
Our green tea is flavorted with broccoli, blueberries, and chia seeds
Posted Jan 6, 2019
It will be interesting to see how many researchers click on this entry . No, there is no food producer daft enough to ruin the taste of green tea by adding these other tastes . My satiric purpose here was to combine these "superfoods" in a very silly way.
Lily Tomlin in "Spiderman." Julie Andrews in "Aquaman." What gives?
Posted Jan 4, 2019
I never would have expected that Peter Parker's Aunt May would be voiced by Lily Tomlin. Somehow, Julie Andrews was not the first actress I thought of for a role in "Aquaman." (Okay, I was okay with Meryl Streep as Mary Poppins's cousin in the latest Mary Poppins movie. Meryl seems to pop up just about anywhere she pleases. And Angela Lansbury as the balloon lady at the end of that movie was welcome.)
But I'm not saying I didn't like the unexpected casting. Aunt May never seemed all that spunky. Lily Tomlin has changed all that, in a refreshing way.