h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I see things are going from bad to averse, as usual.

Averse! Averse! My kingdom for a....





.... never mind.

Nice to see you, Lady Scott.

Yes, Richard III's kingdom was about as averse as anything can get.



A is a , of course, of course...

Horsefeathers!

As Spud used to say,
"I yam what I yam what I yam!"

Who's that yammering away?

Is it some dic-tater?

I really must ap-peel for some mercy, or we'll have mash hysteria.

Tuber or not tuber, that is the question...

I say - send them all up to Spudnik and be done with it!

Go ahead, chip away.

You say potato, and I'll say potahto.

I say, this topic is turning into a hot potato.

Eye see I'll have to consult with King Edward.
He's a chip off the old block and I should
get a crisp answer from him.

You people. I won't even bother digging for a pun.

Well you know what they say... a spade is a spade! Unless of course you're using a sharpshooter or a gardening rake...

I can see you've had a good grounding in the subject Michele.

Hey Paul, fancy a trip to Austin?
http://events.publicbroadcasting.net/kut/events.eventsmain?action=showEvent&eventID=162519

It isn't the trip I mind, but the fall that follows it.

I guess Red Dog isn't the only researcher whose fan club is dying.

I'm melting, melting. All my beautiful wickedness is melting away. What a world! What a world!

Bring on the golliwog girls!



The Triplets of Paulville.

For my next song, I'd like to sing a Tom Lehrer classic called "I hold your hand in mine," which accurately describes the mindset of a deranged mutilationist. If you wish for me to *not* sing it, throw fruit at me, the more delicious the better. I like ripe pears, peaches, and mangoes.

I didn't know Red Dog had a fan club, just a journal entry that he keeps trying to kill.

I just happen to have 3 mangoes on hand... and I still have one pear-apple left. Have you ever had one of those things? They're crisp like apples, but have a grainy texture more like a pear... sort of taste more like a pear.

I also have some overripe bananas and some strawberries... and a few apples.

But no I'm not going to throw them at you.

Oh and I saw a joke today that you'd love... lemme see if I can find the link...

Ok, I couldn't find the link I saw today (I was reading over Amy+'s shoulder), but it seems that joke is online in many different forms. This one comes closest to what I read today:


This chap goes to the doctor and complains about his leg. "It keeps talking," he says.

The doctor tells him to take off his trousers and lay on the examination couch. He then listens to the man's thigh through his stethoscope.

The thigh says "Lend us a tenner"

"Remarkable," says the doctor, moving the stethoscope down to the knee.

"Lend us a fiver," says the knee.

"Incredible," says the doctor, moving the stethoscope down to the ankle.

"Lend us a couple of quid," says the ankle.

"Amazing says the doctor.

"What's wrong?" asks the man.

"Well its very unusual, but I think your leg is broke in three places."

Cute!!!