h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, Shea!

Didn't realize you were still here.
Or did you leave and then come back?

There's plenty of pie if you want more.
Voltaire's might be coaxed into
having some when he gets back from the
latrine (this was his 47th trip
there, the effect of drinking all that
coffee ).

Sorry I can't dance with you. My dancing
is really, really wretched (though not as bad
as Elaine's in "Seinfeld"). The only good thing
about it is that I usually don't do it *with*
anyone else, so there's no danger of my mashing
my partner's toes.

I suppose the only tango I could dance would
be Tom Lehrer's "Masochism tango."

YAY!!! I love this flashing music!!!

VOLTAIRE!!! WOW... I wish I knew more about you, but you fit quite well into my future studies... Nice to meet you!!! "Candide" was interesting...

::Wearing the "Pumpkin pie. That's right dammit, I'm a fan of Paul's" pin proudly, looking at the fan club she's started::

Hi guys! Having fun??
::Liking the flashing music::

I'm having LOADS of fun!!! YAY!!!

Hold on, I'm gonna *try* to get
some of these s to dance.
They're not usually very graceful
in motion, but maybe they just
need practice . Here goes:

CHA
*
CHA
*
CHA o
CHA
CHA
*

(Okay, you sluggards in the back, let's try to
speed it up, or the next pie will be you!
Come to think of it, we may have to do that anyway.
Oh. well.

Hold on, I'm gonna *try* to get
some of these s to dance.
They're not usually very graceful
in motion, but maybe they just
need practice . Here goes:

CHA
*
CHA
*
CHA
CHA
CHA
*

(Okay, you sluggards in the back, let's try to
speed it up, or the next pie will be you!
Come to think of it, we may have to do that anyway.
Oh, well.

Obviously, this will need a little
more tinkering.

I think pumpkins are meant to rumba, not cha cha...

I thought s did the mashed potato ...

Hi Paul!

s are soooo special...

I think I need to get out and stay up late.

They keep getting more and more special
as Halloween approaches. Then, after that,
a lot of them turn into pies when nobody's
looking. I once had a pumpkin that lasted,
intact, for a whole year. It lasted through
the winter, spring, and most of the following
summer.

But enough about pumpkins.

Any more , anyone? I won't try to
inflict any p****t b****r on Shea, nor
any c********e on Ottox. (Translations for
those who can't read asterisks: peanut
butter, and cheesecake.) I think
is a neutral substance for most of the guests.
Virtual has zero calories, so it
won't make you fat...

Did you Shilak(sp!??) your pumpkin!??/.... woah...

Do you mean "shellack?"

I didn't have to coat the with anything.
It survived without any extra help.

----------------------------------------------------------

And now, for something completely different.

A minute ago, one of my co-workers asked if
I would ever want to work in the enws media.
I said no, not even if you paid me a million
dollars (actually, some media people DO get
paid that much, but the answer would still be no.)

This is the kind of dangerous stuff these people
have to do:

BABA WAWA: Hewwo, this is Baba Wawa interviewing
Osama Bin Laden in a cave in Afghanistan.
Oh, Osama, what a pwetty stalagmite.

OSAMA: Keep down, Baba, the Northern Alliance
is lobbing hand grenades in here. I may
have to run further into the cave.

BABA: Wiww I have to wun with you?

OSAMA: (Rolling his eyes) Allah, give me
strength! No, Baba, I want you to stay here
and get blown up......

BABA: Bwown up! That wiww be wonderful
for the watings!

(Two objects get thrown into cave.)

BABA: Ooh, wooky, wooky! Those nice soldiers
have thwown a couple of pineapples in here.
Are you fond of pineapples, Mr. Bin Laden?
(Osama Bin Laden tuns further into the cave...)
Mr. Bin Laden, we have to finish our interview!
(She runs after him. Two explosions rock the cave.)



BABA Angel: Hewwo, this Baba Wawa, finishing
my interview with Osama Bin Laden....

OSAMA: Why bother? We're both dead, now.

BABA: I can use this interview as an audition
tape when I apply for a new job in Heaven.

DEVIL: Ha, ha, ha,ha, ha,!

Hee hee hee.... you so silly!!!

And only FAN CLUB MEMBERS get to read that!!!

Ok, lurkers too...

And visitors to my personal space,
'cause it's there, too.

.... I feel I've lost some specialness....

Have you checked down behind the sofa?

Dragonfly

No, wait, there's nothing but unmatched
socks down there--plus, maybe, the Boogeyman,
but don't worry about him, he's too depressed
to bother anyone.

Poor dearheart... why's he so down!??

Because he can't scare anybody any more.
The things that happen in the real world
are so scary, that nothing the Boogeyman
does has any impact. Some people just
think he's funny now.

Laughing at a boogeyman can have terrible
consequences for him....

I used to have a cat that would probably be frightened of him... I'm sure little children still fear him!!! COME ON!!!