h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have to admit you have me there.

The new codes are in:

Habitual Haition Herders have heinously hinderd Humananity however hate hawaiian hedgehogs.


Remember to repeat 7 times while eating a peanut butter sandwich.

I have succeded in saying it seven times, though the stay at the emergency room was less than enjoyable.

You have succeded where many men have failed. You are now intrusted with the honorific "Lambaster" and hence forth are permitted to where with pride the "Woolen Star"

You may now remove the woolen underware and walk unencumbered amongst your brothers.

I have no witty retort to that one. . .

erm...It is probably for the best. In regards to post in flash the secrect pens have been traced back to the kennedy administration.

Was the shooter on the grassy knoll really a sheep?

While the warren commision mentions no such thing there are several little none facts that could have led to just such a senerio.

While the kennedy brothers were having their little game of nuclear poker with kremlin they had a ace up thier sleeves. These allies were unknown to the american people becuase of a massive cover up since the first contact between our two species in 1947 at a remote location known as Rosswell, New Mexico. The accidental meeting brought about by a crash of thier inter-dimensional ship that carried the dominent species from alternit earth #33.342 At the time of the crash a deal was struck to exchange prime pasture land and the imagration of 3 million of their species from their over crowded world plus 1 million cuban cigars for access to thier advanced technology. By early 1963 all but 10,000 cigars had been traded and we had reverse enginered all of their technology. Then Castro uped the price on the cigars 3.7 cents each. This p****d of the kennedys who faked a few pictures of giant promotional cigars that were going to launch a world advertising campain for cuban cigars. They claimed they were russian missles and ordered a blockade. When that failed to force castros hand and lower prices bobby sent trained pigs to kill castro. However they ended up on the menu at The Bay Resturaunt. the last 10,000 cigars were not delivered causing the species now know as The Sheep to become really p****d off. This started a secret war whos first casultie was Norma Jean. We can only speculate on the second one but from all accounts this victem was killed in texas. This war has been waged in total secrecy now for almost 40 years. Now you to know the hidious truth behind " the sheep lie" "For eye's Only" more to come.

Have you told Gen. Duck about this conspiracy. .. I think he would profit from such knowledge.

WE HAVE TAKEN NEW ZEALAND AUSTRALIA IS NEXT WE OUTNUMBER AND OUTLEG YOU THE GOATS HAVE PROMISED COOPERATION THE LLAMAS ARE NEUTRAL WE ARE SEEKING TALKS WITH CROWS FOR RECON PURPOSES HALF OF THIS IS FICTION AND THE OTHER HALF A LIE BUT WE COULD BE LYING

Yeah, but we got salad forks!

ready the Barry Manalow cd.



Ready


Aim


play

Ready supplemental Yanni Barage. . .

Yanni oh no FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!! EVERYONE DOWN!!!

Fire mission successful, sheep now bald

Even at 2 klicks the yanni was horrendous. I have never heard nor would I ever want to such unhuman sounds. It instills unspeakable horror that a human could concieve such dreadful noise. Suggest future minimuim distance of 1 klick per 10 decibles.

Yeah collateral damage is pretty severe. . .all humans within ear shot are raiding music shops to destroy all available clarinets, but the justice was served

WARNING DO NOT PLAY MANALOW,YANNI OR UNDER ANY CIRCUM STANCES MIKE BOLTON. THE SHEEP REALLY LIKE IT. THIS IS A REAL WARNING. BAH BAH [PLEASE DISREGARD THE BAHS] THIS IS NOT A POST WRITTEN BY A SHEEP WHO HAS SNUCK INTO STARBIRTHS HOME. I SWEAR ON MARY.

They have infiltrated the lines. . .position plan bravo . . .BROKEN ARROW BROKEN ARROW