h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Might I suggest the tactical employment of Freebrez in conjunction with the woolite

alert to all troops: 1600 hour 7/6/01 - urgent do not eat the meat repeat do not eat the meat - meat packaged prior to 7/6 is likely to to be infected with "pissed off sheep disease"

in response to freebreese: Recent developements {the unspeakable sexual assaults of several store clerks by large male sheep while stocking shelves with freebreeze}have lead us to the conclusion that freebreese acts as a intense aphrodisiac. we advise using the utmost caution when working with this product.

That would nexplain the rather preculiar ambush. . .hmmmmm

Yes it would but did you check out the size of their weapons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and that explans the percular march home by the troops. . .

Indeed it do's indeed. What worries me though is the ones that had the big smiles on their face.

On a matter that has brought further concern to me: today I brought my children to the movies and we saw "Cats and Dogs" and to my amazement the story line was about a secret war being waged between cognitive cats and dogs who talk when out of human earshot. Sound kinda familiar? Could this be a special ops. program to condition the masses we know nothing about?

This is a plot to commo bw each other and gain human sypathizers . . .we need to return to monty python flying circus where the cat is killed in every episode to countermand this point

While not familiar with the dead cat scenes in mpfc i do know the dead parrot in the dead parrot gag was killed by sheep. there have been many such cover ups in history.I will soon release short excerpts from a historic account of "Sheep: The Second Sentient Species"

Further enlightment might be something we can all benefit from.

Excerpt from "Sheep" : The floral pasture soothing in it's visual delight seemed to call out all is well in this idlylic setting. Little did the unsuspecting herder know a long dorment intelect was brooding in his charges. -page 23 chapter 1 {sentience}

You speak of herders. . .they are defectors and traitors. . .they have been breeding our accursed sheep enemy. THey two must be barrymanilowed on site.

So let it be said - so let it be done. I will with post haste add this revision to The Book.

operation herd the herders has commenced

Its a good thing that we sent in the agent to spy on the herders.

Before he was found out he was able to pass on some good info. It seems he heard the herders, while he was herdding the herd one day, talking about the herd.

The info is still highly classified -Secret Squirl Stuff- but it should be out soon

I know the occurence that you are talkng about. We need to gather the troops, and herd the herders.

From a urgent memo recieved this morning it seems the sheep have on several occasion's made contact with dolphins. It seems they are trying to convert them to their cause. If it were not for the great actor "Flipper" this information may never have come our way.

I do not think the sheep will realize the potential of dolphins like we have, th sheep always get the fish all hairy, and a dolphin with a hair ball is a pissed off dolphin. No I think any sea based threat I think we need to look at is tube worms, though the threat is a far off one since they can't rise up to close to the sunlight. . .hey I said the sheep were dangers not intelligent.

Never under estimate the enemy.

I know, but you have to admit any enemy who chosses an ally who can't leave it's home 6 miles deep in the water leaves alot to question.