Journal Entries

Long overdue update

So many things have happened so far this year. I don’t know where to start, but I figure I will just start at the beginning and go from there. Beware this is a long journal entry smiley - winkeye.

smiley - spaceEdgar, my friend from NYC, which I met shortly after I moved to the area, passed away right before New Years. He lost his battle with cancer, after fighting well past the time the doctors had given him. There are hundreds of stories that I could tell about him, given the chance, and maybe I will write a couple down soon. I drove all night to get to NYC with a small nap on the way at a rest stop so I could be there for the wake and funeral. He was surrounded by friends and family, but it was a big shock for his family to see all of the response from his friends. I don’t think they ever realized until that moment the man that he had turned into or the number of people his life touched.
smiley - spaceI made up my mind at the beginning of the year that while I like my current job, I can no longer stay here. The issue I have is with a coworker and it’s enough to out weigh the plusses about the job, so I talked to management and gave them notice that I would stay until I had my summer drill. I am more then likely going to be in school for a month and a half for the Army and it seemed like a good time to make the break. I also made the comment that if there were some major changes in the office down here (which actually looked promising at the time) I would consider staying. I think that Edgar’s funeral actually influenced this decision a bit, as I had been unhappy but willing to put up with it, and then I realized there isn’t enough time to put up with being that unhappy at a job. So I started thinking about what I want to do next…
smiley - spaceI have been taking classes for some time now in the pursuit of a tech degree to further my current career. When I originally joined the Army, one of the big reasons was to get money for school. I had a dream of being a teacher, and I figured if I went to school and got my degree once I got out, I would always be able to take a tech job if I found that I didn’t like it. I got out and applied to only one school, they put me on a waiting list, in the letter they said I would defiantly be able to get in the next semester. At the time I couldn’t stand the thought of waiting at home those few months…so I started replying to the job offers I had been getting. This of course led to me taking a job in NYC instead of going to school. Now, while I don’t regret that decision one bit, I feel that it is time to revisit that choice. I have decided to drop the plans of getting a tech degree and start going to school for my teachers degree. Oh, and before anyone asks, no I will not try to teach English (spelling and grammar included).
smiley - spaceLastly but certainly not least there is the latest development. I suppose I should give a little back story, but I will start with the thing first. I am engaged to be married. As a friend once told me, I never do things the normal way, so I picked the time when I was in the most flux to fall in love and go a bit insane (well a bit more insane). “Who is this girl?” you might be asking yourself. Or as some of my friends have asked, “Wait you were dating someone?” The answers lay in the back-story which I spoke of earlier. Why love is something that does not need to be explained, I still like to tell stories. Oh and there are no sheep in this one (well I hope not anyway). My family moved to Virginia (VA) from California when I was 2 years old. We moved from one house to another in VA when I was three or four. It was in this second house that the story really starts, but I didn’t want to leave too much out smiley - winkeye While in this house a couple moved in just across from us. The husband a Marine, had just got stationed at Quantico, from Hawaii and brought his pregnant bride and young daughter along with (which is just natural, because if he would of left his family behind that would be pretty weird). He was shortly sent out on a six month float, and his wife and my mom became fast friends. Diane (the wife) even started baby sitting me after school as my oldest sister was, lets just say having trouble at that point. It was shortly after this that their daughter had her first birthday party, which strangely enough was just four days after my fourth. Flash forward three years. Mac (the Marine) had now received orders to report to Camp Jejune, North Carolina (NC), and my mom decided to help them move down. Well she decides after seeing this new town, and also finding that the house directly behind the one they were moving into was for rent, that my family would also be moving down to NC. My mom figured if she could get my oldest sister into a better area that maybe the trouble she was finding herself in with lessens. Well this proved not to work, but the area was much friendlier and I spent the rest of my childhood there. It was no secret to either family, that one of my favorite people in the world was Mailie (the oldest daughter of Mac and Diane), and that she felt the same about me. My mom and her’s often joked that if they could arrange a marriage it would be between us two. Well the time came and I moved away to be in the Army, and could only visit from time to time. I did notice that every time I came back, that this young girl I grew up with was becoming more and more of a woman, but it in some ways felt more of a brother/sister relationship (I hope that doesn’t’ weird anyone out smiley - laugh). The last year I was in the Army, Mac retired from the military and moved him and his family to outside of Pittsburgh, PA. (No, my mom didn’t follow this time, but it has been a running joke that she would eventually find her way up there, and in fact Diane always keeps an eye out for nice houses smiley - winkeye ) Well I got to visit them in PA twice, once while still in the Army and once after I moved to NY. I noticed on my last trip that instead of feeling like brother and sister with Mailie that I felt something more, and quite frankly that scared the mess out of me. Her family is in a sense my family, and has been for such a long time, how could I act on a feeling that could literally cause a strain in that relationship. So I didn’t act on it, chicken that I am, and decided that I should stay away for a while so maybe that would go away. Well I did just that, making sure not to visit. Then I got the news that Mailie was getting married, my mom thought I should attend the wedding, and part of me wanted to be there…but I just couldn’t bring myself to go. It was just not something I wished to see, and I was worried that I being there would affect the event negatively. So flash forward a couple of years again, it has come now to the point I think I can actually call Mailie directly, and not have to worry about bringing any negativity into her marriage (in the back of my head that was a big worry, that I would say something, or be rude to her husband because I was actually jealous). Well I started talking to her, and I found out that things were not working out and that she would not be married much longer. That was a smiley - weird bit of news, and I really just didn’t know how to take it. Was I supposed to be happy or sad? I didn’t know so I figured I would be neither and just talk with her. That had gone on for sometime when she decided that she hadn’t seen me in way too long. She told me “Well if you’re not coming up to visit me, then I am coming down to Florida to visit you.” That she did at the end of January. Well the visit started off as formal and proper as possible, but feelings quickly came to the surface. I learned a lot about the other side of the relationship (her feelings all this time) during the visit, and some of it was pretty shocking to me. It seems that I wasn’t the only one that has been harboring feelings for quite some time, and was worried how it would affect the whole situation. I also learned that one of the reasons she said she got married, was due to the fact she never thought I would see her as anything but a pseudo sister. She said of the weekend, that we went from standing still to a 100 miles an hour (in terms of relationship), but I thinking about it I don’t think we did. I don’t think we have ever been at a standstill, but this is the first time we decided to get in the same lane smiley - laugh. So by the end of the weekend I asked the question that I knew was right. (Oh and another question that seems to come up from my friends, no she is not pregnant smiley - laugh)
smiley - spaceSo what does this all mean for this coming up year. It means that I have a lot of changes in the works. Right now I can tell you that I will not be married until at least the end of next year. That I still plan on leaving this job, which is the whole reason she is in Pittsburgh at this time and not down here with me. I have started my job search and been concentrating on the Pittsburgh area, as I would not like to pull her away from her family right now, but if worse comes to worse she is willing to follow me where the next job leads. I will be leaving this job, spending most of the summer in the Army schools, and then starting a new job hopefully in Pittsburgh. We plan to find a nice one bedroom apt, in the area and start adding to my savings so that after the wedding we can start the house search. Once I get settled in up there (we plan to have a BBQ at or near the apt at the end of September to kick off the whole thing) I will start taking classes toward my teaching degree. As I will not be able to go too fast, it will more then likely mean that it will still be a while before I get my degree, but at least I’ll be heading in the right direction. So think me crazy if you must, but know that for the first time in a long time, all of what I am doing feels right.

Discuss this Journal entry [14]

Latest reply: Feb 27, 2006

No huricanes...

are alowed to hit FL on Monday...I don't want to miss my flight dag nabbit

Discuss this Journal entry [7]

Latest reply: Oct 19, 2005

I live in a world of change

My travel is never set in stone, one week, the plans for my travel will be one thing...the next it will change. Like originally I was supposed to do some work in Barcelona, Spain and Venice, Italy..then it changed to just Venice, Italy...then that got changed a couple of days before my flight to ummm we don't know when or that has changed to Civitavecchia, Italy (a port just outside of Rome)...I hope this one doesn't change again...Last week I was in the North East for the Army and to visit some people...Mid month of Oct I am scheduled to go to Chile for a little less then a week...and then end of Oct Italy for about a week...second week of Nov up by Amy P in Cali next week NYC (got tkts to the Daily show yyyaaayyy) for a couple of days...should be fun...but as always nothing is set in stone so who knows where I really will be smiley - laugh

Discuss this Journal entry [20]

Latest reply: Sep 27, 2005

Stuck in the Gulf....

Well I just had an interesting week of work. I came into work on monday and was told to get my bags packed grab some equipment. I boarded the plane a few hours latter bound for NO (New Orleans). I spent the first couple of days down in NO getting a medical exame and then I headed for Offshore Water Survival/HUET training. Getting dunked into a tank upside down in a helicopter simulator was pretty fun. Next off to the helipad to catch my ride out to a oil platform. The oil platform was 100 miles off the coast so there wasn't much to see on the way exept for clouds and water. Once on the oil platform (actualy I found out it was a crane platform supporting an oil platform but I wouldnn't of known smiley - winkeye ). From the platform I got in on a rope basket with a metal ring at the bottom that lifted me and my gear from the platform over the water and onto a pretty big boat. I went abourd to fix their Sat Comm system. got that up and running but do to helicopter schduleing I had to stay out on the boat for two days. I wasn't sea sick and the food was good so I wasn't to worried smiley - laugh. Another basket ride and helicopter ride leaves me here at the NO airport on waiting for my plane back to FL. Not to bad of a trip should be to Spain. Going to be a busy couple of months of travel smiley - run

Discuss this Journal entry [19]

Latest reply: Jul 23, 2005

On the road again....

I just hope I didn't run anyone over the other day when I drove through Harisburg, PA on my way to my annual training...I was driving north on 15 then over to 83 to 81...and I was like wait I have been here before...vrrrrrrroooooooooooooom smiley - winkeye

Discuss this Journal entry [8]

Latest reply: May 30, 2005

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