h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mayday mayday - I have just come to must have been unconscious. how long I have no idea. There are patches of wool throughout my house and hove prints on my desk. My security has been compromised {I pray that is all} View with suspision all and any posts in the last 24 hours. please someone check on the general.

Measures are being taken to resecure the front...kick you feet and grab an and this will soon be solved

I have just recieved your reasignment papers and am glad to see you will be joining us at the north east comand center. I await your arrival with much encouragement. Please ackknowledge your safe arrival.

arrival pending, am at family reunion, wait id that a sheep I see behind taht tree.. . .warnign the sheep are advancing on our rear positons. . .suggest sending of reinforcements.

Enjoy leave will hold down the fort till your redeploy.

I have taken collateral damage. My wool socks have been unraveled.

get that man some new socks stat

The directive you sent to supplys hastened the arrival of my wool socks. they seemed to have screwed up my reqesition however as along with the socks I was issued 7 wool thongs. I pray these are not part of the new uniforms.

suggest switching to lycra thongs. . .they are more versatile and much sexier.

You are right I have been really getting some stares at the gym.

and they have no wool, that makes them less itchy

That would explain the dramacic decline in cortisone requesitions.

I have just witnessed a commercail for Serta Mattress featuring "Talking Sheep". They have infiltrated wall street.

I have seen this before, they tried it once with a purple wool suited man in a dinosaur suit. It will fail

The purple dinosuar was a particully nasty strain. Victims were mesmerized in a state of near comatose. This aberation is now on the wane.

Same thing can be said for those accursed teletubbies

Mr Rogers, Barny, Big Bird, Capt. Kangaro they were all benign nuisanses compared to the most vile, obnoxious, ghastly tela-tubbys.

And now Lambchop has stepped up. . .down with the sheep.

The rumers still pursist to this day however in the Sheep Communitie that Lambchop was a puppet of the Human Regime.

The rumers still pursist to this day however in the Sheep Communitie that Lambchop was a puppet of the Human Regime.