h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Currently listening to: The fourth episode of the radio series I found it is rather nice to listen to as I surf around. "And it shall be called... The Earth!" "... The Earth? What a dull name."

Yes, my mother's name is Anne. How did you know that? I really can't remember telling you of my parents real names! How on earth could Nate know that? I'm truly confused... Did she hire a detective? Scanned my brain all the way over the ocean? Looked at the statistics? It's true, you know, that Anne is the most used Norwegian name Actually Anne Hansen is, and that would be what my mother would be named if she hadn't kept her maiden name...

Nah, I guess I once told you, only I can't remember "I have a terrible memory for species..."

Ah, so you met the man of your dreams on WHS, did you? A blonde Adonis... A potential future husband, perhaps? I guess it would be nice to start out with his name, but that's not so important. First things first; How old is he? How much money does he have? (He probably isn't a multi-billionaire since he works as a clerk at WHS... An eccentric multi-billioaire?) And last but not least; Can he fix you discounts?

I'll stop babbling now. I'm very interested in these Norwegian lines you are studying It will be especially interesting to see if you know your way around pronouncation, I know...

Well, *Sigh* back to packing. It's for a good cause, though

Currently listening to: "It's a family affaiiirrr..." on the radio.

Ahh yes, my dream man
Name: Urr, Lestat?
Age: About 19-20 somthing
Wage: You're right, seeing as he works at WHS I don't think he's going to be a billionaire. I suppose it's possible.. *crosses fingers*
Discounts: Hang on a minute, I've got to have an intelligent conversation before I can go ask about discounts. Honestly Tilly, I know I'm not the most experienced dater around but at least I don't let my passion for books get in the way of common sense.

But he's tall, gangly, wiry arms and he has the loveliest hair I've ever seen Incredible how I can fall in love at the drop of a hat.

If a tall blonde creature comes looming at you from a dark allyway, saying odd burbly, 'acking' sounds do not mace the poor dear. It's probably me trying to say hello in Norwegian. I really should have bought a Norwegian phrase and pronnounciation book instead of drooling over Mr Charismatic, but I was distracted (When he told me I could get another book for £10, I stood in front of the shelves for 20 mins because I couldn't remember the name of the author I wanted to get )

Did you get my e-mail? I tried really hard with that, would you make sure what I said was legible and didn't contain any swear words or offensive terms I worked really hard at translating that, and I didn't have any help what so ever.. I've got some other useful/offensive/stupid phrases if you want to see them. I'm seriously considering bringing paper and pens, if not for you for me. Everything's so much easier written down

Don't worry about bad prounnounciation (Or in my case spelling ) I honestly won't care, plus me and my Mum are used to dealing with accents. What with my Grandad being Polish and speaking with a very heavy accent I'm used to it. Granted, not a Norwegian accent but I'm pretty good at understanding people

Can you please tell me if I talk in a typical British accent? I may put one on to annoy you, so beware

*looks uncomfortable* Uhm, private detective? Nooo, I swear.. I'd never do anything like that, you know me well enough to figure that out. *pulls at the neck of her t-shirt* Uhm, I've gotta go now, bye!

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: A documentary on the TV...

Yes, I've read and replied to your e-mail. May you tell me how you decided to use that, er, theme?

Aw, I know how it is to fall in love at the spot I had a small incident on the train from Eidsvoll to Lillestrøm some time ago. There was a man (yes, man NOT boy) who had these really great shoes Yes, that can be the first sign of attraction when I meet a guy - wether I like his shoes or not... But anyway, this bloke had really nice shoes - black and polished (I've never had a crush on any man that uses sneakers) and since we sat some seats apart I could only see his reflection in the glass of the window. I noticed he was smiling at me, so I smiled back; He winked at me, I winked back; He made some charming moves with his eyebrows, I did the same. It must have looked like a parroting competition

Well, he left a station earlier than me and looked at me as he passed... And I've never seen him again *Cue violin music* Of course I've thought about him, and I've gathered these potential reasons why he acted like he did:
A) He's attracted to me
B) He was mocking me and/or was really REALLY bored.
C) He was a weirdo that just like making lots of gestures as he see the forests outside the train window pass.

With my luck it was probably the last one *Sigh* It wouldn't be the first time...

Aaaanyway... Smack me over the head or something if I suddenly should start talking with a "posh" accent, that kind only a majority of Americans (and English) dons when they act really, really British Or I may suddenly skip between lots of different pronouncations (even cockney slang ) I sem to do that when I get nervous (at least that's what Prof Petter have been telling me)

I've finally found my passport! Last time I almost missed my flight because I couldn't find that darn passport anywhere... And all because of the library who wouldn't believe that I actually was Tilde Clark even though I told them I was, my friend told them I was, I had a bag full of books with my names on them, and I even had business cards with my name on them

Anyway, I got to do the last few hings before I leave tomorrow

Toodles!

Currently listening to: The TV in the background

A man?! Wow, sounds nice! I'll never get anyone like that, the fact that you didn't (technicly) get him either cheers me up But shoes? How odd, I go for men with taste too. He has to be well dressed, charming, clean shoes, cape, cane etc. You know, just the bare essentials

You know I'm a cockney? Yup, I certainly am. Born in Guys hospital, well in the sight and sound of Bo bells. Down the apples and pears and all the rest, wot! Oh sorry, I'm getting confused too I think I'll stick to posh banter, wot! Jolly good old bean, this is where all those years of watching Blackadder pay off! Tally ho, pip pip and Bob's your uncle, wot! Ahh, that old George! Wot a jolly scoundral.. I'm too good at this

Hmm, my inspiration for the porridge theme was (oddly enough) this mornings breakfast. I saw that big bowl of steaming porridge and the image stuck with me all day. It's quite an inspiration to eat ones breakfast you know.. I have used the breakfast theory many times in my work. I really should shut up now...

I'll see you on Monday, I've got to go and watch 'Swordfish' now Have a nice flight
Ta
-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Hi. Still there? I sure hope so.

I came home at midnight, so I didn't get to do all the million things I should have done as soon as possible. I glanced over my mail account... 216 new messages! And they were mostly junk mail... Just my luck Anyway, I have to be quick.

Well, it was very nice meeting you and your mother. I tried to tell about it to my classmates, but they still back away with a nervous look in their face and say reassuringly "Of coooouuurse you did..!" *Sigh*

Well, I didn't steal any of Michael's underwear, mind you. But at least I got tickets... And not just any tickets: The sucker that cancelled his tickets had ordered nothing more than the Queen lounge!! The best, finest, private balcony just next to the stage! I sat so close I could have leaned over and ruffled Michael's hair and more I didn't, though. Tine had me locked down in my seat, so I shouldn't "interfere with the cast"... At least Michael gave us a wink and a wave

And what was best, afterwards, by the Stage door, I managed to have a my photo taken with Michael (I will make my mother scan it and I can send it so you), and he, Michael Ball, GAVE ME A KISS!! I only just managed not to giggle and faint. Ahh... I still haven't washed my face (Which is why now flies are starting to gather )

Well, I got a million things to do (and mum even wants me to sweep the floors) so I better get cracking =

Toodles!

P.S.: And may I say I'm green with envy of your dialect

Currently listening to: Heh heh.. my happy mutterings I'll tell you why later..

*talks in the most impressive dialect she can muster* It was a pleasure to meet you, Tine and your mother. Hang on! Your friends don't believe you met me?! I knew I should have bought a camera! I knew it! Well, at least we have witnesses

Sorry about the Selfridges thing If you have a look at my space you'll see I realised how badly I miscalculated the distance. Sorry! And the museum wasn't up to much either, ah well, it was just an exscuse to meet really

I'm so happy because: We went to Brighton yesterday, only for the day, I was in a sulk for the first part of the day. My Mum dragged us off the beach and pulled us around the shops. I was still sulking at 2 o'clock but then I managed to find somthing which cheered me up considerably. A bag with my favourite charecters on it! I never thought I'd own anything with her on it, but my Mum forked out the money (Ok, half of it) and I got a new bag! An Emily Strange Bag!!! If you wanna see it go to: http://www.emilystrange.com/beware/accessories/flightbag.cfm

I've never been so excited about a bag before! Plus my Mum bought me 2 stickers to go on my folder one saying: "people are strange" the other says "I love monsters"

Speaking of monsters: My Mum's found out about me having a crush on Anthony Hopkins. She has her suspicions but it was confirmed when I started squealing that we were in Hopkins Road Trust me to give the game away. You know what the first thing she said to me about it was? "But he's sooo old..."
How rude! I don't make fun of the fact she had a crush on the blonde one in 'The Man From Uncle' or whatever it was.. I was pretty darn annoyed!

MB kissed you?! Well, aren't you the lucky one! I would rather have the underwear but that's just me being creepy

I'm seeing Vicky today. I can tell her about our exploits with the lifts and the search for the cows, not that she'll believe me "Of course you did Nate, and then you flew away into your space ship.." It was all true! Even the part about the spaceship..

Me and Vicky have a very warped sense of fun (hence the Museum visit) In 2 hours I'm going shopping with her, for back to school stuff and then I get to go to the dentist with her and once we're finished there we're coming back here to watch my taped Anthony Hopkins interview and then maybe we'll rent some Monty Python videos It's hardly surprising we're single...

Last night I decided to be artistic and scribble all over myself I drew a rather nice Celtic knot on my hand (I think I'll go over it in Henna) and then a salamander on my ankle (I think I'll wash that one off) and a rose thingy on my arm (It looks more like a strangled chicken ) My Mum had a fit when she saw them, but I ran away into the garden She didn't have shoes on so she didn't follow me (fussy woman, I wasn't even dressed )

I sat outside cleaning my sword this morning (I told you about me buying a fencing sword for 20p at a carboot fair) It must have looked really odd, me sitting with a sword, scraping the dirt off it and polishing the blade. The fact that an oddly dressed girl was sitting ousisde, spit shining a weapon must have really shocked passers buy... excellent

I went rather heavy with the eyeliner and white eyeshadow I look a bit like this now => No joke, I look quite dead. It's somewhat disturbing when your Mum comes in to wake you but ends up taking your pulse. I think I'd better go wash my face..
Ta

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: Tine and Daniel smooching on the sofa Yep, we're back to normal...

Daniel is staying over for dinner. Last time he did that, Tine came to me afterwards to tell me that he was utterly horrified over the way I eat pancakes What? I drizzle sugar over it, roll it and then eat it with my fingers. Could someone please tell me what's so horrifying with that? You never get a grip on them with forks...

Ah. You bought a bag. I see. That's... Um, interesting. I'm happy for you. Congratulations with your new bag.

I know how it is when your parents/friends/passing milkmen say things like "But he's so old..!" But then Tine found a guy (Daniel) who was even older than my crush, so people moved over to her

Yes, he kissed me!! His lips, my skin, the whole deal... He giggled a bit before he did it, I don't know if that's a good sign or not And when I told him (no my mum actually did, I couldn't utter a word) that I had ravelled from Norway to see him, he exclaimed "Oh Blimey!" I've shocked Michael Ball. I can die a happy girl

I'll be right back, dinner's ready

Yes, I've just eaten dinner. I didn't horrify Daniel this time

Talking about henna, Tine got one on her shoulder. And here's a surprise: I did so too! As a celebration of the best kiss of my life, I got a gotic kind of "M B" on my left shoulder. It actually looks quite like a real tatoo. I pray it will hold out until school starts so I can scare the wits out of my friends "Hey, look what I've gotten..!"

You must have looked very eccentric cleaning to sword I only think of what you've told me, and still I can't stop sniggering

Oh shoot! Now my father wants me to wash the dishes. *Sigh* Talk to you later...

Toodles!

Currently listening to: Victoria going upstairs to 'spend a penny' so to speak I thought I'd do a quick reply as this girl is famous for spending hours on the toilet *evil snigger*

Uh oh, here she is. I'll put her on *unwillingly* Now listen to everything she says, you don't want to miss one of those pearls of wisdom Ok, enough messing about here's Johnny, I mean Vicky:

hello Tilly!!
how original of me!! first of all i owe you an apology! i now beleive nat that you are real and most deffinatly not a fifty year old pervert! i admit that i was wrong which really doesn't happen very often (Nate: you're telling me!) how rude interrupted!! anyhoo plaese accept my apology (Nate: I taught her how to do those )hope your trip to London was fun and your obession with Michael Ball long continues!!! (Nate: I didn't tell her about that, I swear!!)

Me again! I eat pancakes the same way, what's so terrible about it Maybe we haven't been told that we look like pigs, people are just too nice..

I really embarrassed myself today! There was a busker begging at the side of the street, I actually stopped and fumbled about looking for change. Then Vickys Mum yelled at me not to so skuttled off leaving the homeless man looking all expectant and hopeful I felt so guilty until Vicky's Mum told me how evil these people are, and they're a big organisation out to get us all

You can die happy now, Micheal has made you the happiest girl alive. The only thing that could top that would be proposal of marriage, which I don't think is gonna happen anytime soon. Sorry..

I'd better go, Vicky's pulling at my arm, I think I'd better get my sword out
Ta

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: The theme of 'Boston Public' playing on the TV...

Tell Vicky I have accepted her appology It's good to get a second opinion on myself not being a 50 year old pervert. And, ah, so you didn't tell her about my obsession, did you? I guess my brainwaves are simply so strong she couldn't help picking it up... I get that a lot.

I had a similiar incident like that "disappoint-busker" incident; Last night at the airport a woman walked up to me looking important with a clip board and asked "Sorry, could I ask you some questions..?" I had just opened my mouth to either accept of decline very politely, when Tine drags me away by my arm and says fiercely "No!" When I first had stalled by the lady, the battle was kinda lost and I felt a bit guilty for running away...

Marriage, hm? Mrs Ball... Mrs Tilly Ball That would have been something, wouldn't it? Too bad I can't get married in any civilized countries at the age of 15, but some day, maybe

Gotta go watch the tape of Dave Allen's comedy I bought for my father. If I should die laughing, remember I can now be identified by the henna tattoo on my arm and the grin on my face

Toodles!

"The purpose of life is to fight maturity."
-Dick Werthimer

Currently listening to: Vicky tapping away at her mobile phone keys. Yes, she's still here. The sign of a true friend is one who lets you mess about on h2g2 because the urge is oh so strong

I'll just put Vicky on for a bit, and then I'll write a bit more later:

hello again Tilly!! i am very glad that you accepted my apolgy. hope your having a great time doing whatever you are doing and i'll pass back to nate....................

Hmm, that was interesting I'd better go now, we still have 30 mins of Monty Python to watch. It's the flying circus...
Ta

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

I'm baack! Sorry it took so long, I was halfway through writing a reply and I had to get off immediately So I couldn't post it...

Just for the record, my experience with the homeless man was much worse. I was so embarrased and I felt so guilty afterwards. I was getting told off for giving to buskers by Ed's (Vicky's) Mum, I looked like a real dunce But it was 90° outside and he was wrapped up in a pink blanket, so he was in all likelyhood faking it. And I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better

Me? Tell Vicky that you have an obsession with Micheal Ball? No! Would I do a thing like that? On second thoughts, don't answer that *ponders* Hmm, Natalie Hopkins.. Mrs Hopkins.. I quite like the sound of it. What do you think? I like the sound of Tilly Ball, has a certain ring to it Does this make us sound sad? I think it does...

I watched "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest" last night. I found the book and was hoping to see the film, Vicky didn't like it (she has a thing about crazy people, can't stand them) In my opinion (Like anyone asked or cares ) It's a really good film, it could be one of my favourites. And unfortunately, I have developed a crush on, none other than, Jack N What is it about older men?

Looks like I'm going on holiday tommorow (I'm not quite sure) If you don't hear from me for a few days, you'll know what happened. I'll know by tonight, if I'm going anywhere it looks like I'm going camping Which means bring plenty of paper and books, I hope I don't die of sheer boredom. Think of all the people who will miss me! *waits for Tilly to reply* Hmmm, we may be here a while..

I'd better go. I went to bed at 3 last night, I need to get some sleep Speak to you soon(ish)
Ta

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: 'NYPD Blue' on the telly...

I've just come back from my little niese's birthday. Martine is now 5 years old, and can't get enough of Barbie I have nothing against Barbie, but all that ooey-gooey pink and ribbons and fashion and big eyes and impossible body I think I read somewhere that if Barbie really had excisted, she would not have had a period (because of her small waist), have fallen forward quite a lot (because of her big bust) and not been able to lift her head (because of her big head and slender neck), so I guess it isn't easy being a doll Now, I had a Ken doll, at least he was better proportioned (although certain parts of his anatomy was, er, 'nuff said ) I had a really nice tuxedo for him too.

Certin parts of the birthday party was a bit laughable too. For example, Daniel dropped Tine off because she was a bit late, and they kissed goodbye. In the same instance all the minors started crying "Yuuuuuuk!!" (Okay, I admit I joined them because it was just so fun seeing the couple embarassed ) I also had an interesting conversation with a 6-year old called Agnetha.

Agnetha (reading the henna tatto on my arm): "M... B... What does MB stand for, Pille?" (she nicknamed me Pille for some odd reason )
Me: "Michael Ball."
Agnetha: "Why do you have his name on your arm?"
Me: "Because I... I'm in love with him."
Agnetha: "Oh. Is he your boyfriend?"
Me: "Er, no."
Agnetha: "Have you kissed him?"
Me: "As a matter of fact, yes."
Agnetha: "Oh! So you're gonna have his baby?"
'Nuff said... No, she didn't actually say that last bit, but I suspect she got ideas of the kind... She looked at me very, very strange for the rest of the evening

Jack N? Jackie Nicko? Yes, I think he's a very fine actor, but... Nate, I'm your friend and I will always support you, but... He's so... so... Nasty! What do you see in him? Good actor, yes, but the man himself is so... Beyond words. But you're in luck, because all the tabloids tell of how 'into' he is in minors, if you catch me drift. And prostitutes. Especially combined

At least you're attracted to scandal celebreties. I'm all too boring to do any of such I go after shoes...

I've watched many movies of him, and I think he is very good. At certain kind of roles. He's simply hilarious in 'Witches of Eastwick' , and thrillingly psychotic in 'The Shining' That's all I can think of at the time.

Well, have fun on your 'maybe-trip'

Toodles!

I seems I have 2 minutes and 2 mins alone to use the computer. I got into a fight with my Mum (completely my fault) and my Dad has removed my internet privialges. Shame... I shall surely die

Leave Jack alone, he's an excellent actor! The very best.. well, one of..

I have so little time to write this so I promise to write more tommorow. I'm too tired anyway 6 hours in a car doesn't do much for a girl

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: The kids nextdoor playing outside. It's quite funny watching them. The oldest one keeps on falling off his bike, smashing his head against the tree, getting up, shakes his head and he then promptly does the same thing again I think I'd better stop watching them, the mother is starting to stare at me. And if I want to get a babysitting job with them, I'd better not laugh whenever one hurts itself, bad for business don't you know

Ahhh, here I am again peeps. Isn't it nice that I could drop in Sorry about that old chum, it's my fault really. Should be more polite to the old mater in future...

Yes, I've noticed that the male barbies (the Kens as they call them) are very well endowed Christ! I went and got an old Barbie of mine last night, and I had a good look. Boy are they big or what?! I used to have a barbie wig And instead of putting it on the Barbies, I'd put the wig on the ken doll, and dress him up in Barbies clothes. It was really very funny, him staggering (or that's what I made him do) about in 6 sizes too small high heels and bursting out of a cocktail dress. I think I was having an identity crisis at the time..

I'm starting to sound like a Ken pervert now aren't I? I'd better talk about Barbie for a bit to even things out. I really do hate Barbie dolls, they think they're soo blooming great I used to be somewhat of a sadist towards mine, making them jump off high ledges and planting them head first in the flower beds I was a thoroughly eveil child..

Wow! Yeah! I never thought of that! It's well known among minors that when you kiss a boy (or in your case a man) you instantly have to have his baby. Tis true, I'm well informed. All the kids in year 3 say so...

How can you stand to be around small children? I hate it I'm a good sport and I crawl around on the floor with them, watch Barney, do my baby cry (I can cry like a real baby, it's spooky but highly entertaining for young children) and then play some stupid game which I always loose becasue they keep on changing the rules, all with some stupid happy grin on my face And the worst part is they like me for it! It's not fair..

What do you mean by 'I'm in luck'? I'm not a prostitute and I'll be damned if I'm a minor It's quite funny really, in the film 'One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest' Jack plays R.P.Macmurphy (however it's spelt) who has been convicted of rape. But what he did was sleep with an underaged girl.. coincidence? Hmm, my Dad said that Jack looks evil. He said "There's somthing about that face..." which I totally resent

Gah, my trip was really nasty I got sunburnt (how am I going to look like a vampire now) and my hair had some sort of reaction to the salt water and is now sticking up like Lisa Simpson's. It's quite depressing

I've gotta go now. My Mum wants me to tidy up the spare room! Nooo! It's not fair! It looks like a bomb hit it, why me?! I'll be here cleaning up that room til I'm 67 It's not fair... *has a tantrum* No wannna clean up... *sulks*
Ta

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: Michael Ball singing 'I'm Gonna Be Strong'... "Our love is gone, there's no sense in holding on, 'cause your pity now would be too much to bear..." Aah, I love that song!

Well, it was my first day of school today. We're having an easy start; Today we only talked about what we had done in the vacation, tomorrow, we're going to an art gallery (I think it's called "The World Seen From Above") I went there earlier this year and I strongly objected to going there again, but well... No one ever listens to me
It was nice seeing Prof. Petter again (No! I still don't fancy him ), although he has shaved his head again, so now I think he looks rather like some David Becham-wannabe Chances are, he is. And I got good news; Our former Religion-teacher quit (she couldn't cope with us ) so now we're having Prof. Petter instead! I have a feeling my grades will rocket... No, not because I'm having an affair with him or anything, it's just that I work much better and harder for people I like The former Religion teacher we had, I hated her and she hated me... Therefore I had gruesome grades in that class
I have a feeling this is gonna be a good year; I have Prof. Petter in English, History, Religion, Geography, Social studies... Yes, I have it made I've also heard we're getting new Art-teacher. This will appearantly be an aknowledged artist

A funny thing happened today as well, I was having a 5-minute break, talking with Prof. Petter (I'm starting to sound like I'm obsessed, aren't I? ) And we stood there talking a bit long, so when the 5 minutes had long passed, Brit, the other teacher, saw me and started telling me off, but when she saw I was there with the teacher (which means he was also late for our class) it seemed like all my sins were forgiven instantly Ah, these hypocrites called teachers

A transvestite Ken doll? I've done that. Also, when I was a kid me and my friends had a game where all the Barbie-dolls were prostitutes... We were a pretty weird bunch of kids

Well, I really can't stand kids It's harsh to say so, but some kids are simply so obnoxious I have completely come off the idea of kids. Babies, I adore - their job is simply to eat, laugh, cry, sleep, s**t and generally look adorable, but when they come to the age when they always want to be right, always want to do whatever they're not allowed to do... I have only known one kid that really was adorable even in that age, and that was a kindergarden girl I was assigned to take care of at school. She greeted me each day with a giant hug, and always demanded that I told her stories and taught her songs ... There's an exception to every rule, I guess...

I'll stop blabbering now and go and rest in whatever shadow I can find... It's so terribly, horribly hot in here

Toodles!

"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
-W. Edwards Deming

Currently listening to: My shocked hyperventalating! Woah, hang on here matey! You're back at school? Woah, I've got another 2 weeks or somthing! *laughs* Ha! I'm going back to school 'after' you! Wow! Sheesh, this is unexpected.. I'd better go and lie down

Seeing as you're back at school, I want to know what (If anything) you told your friends about me I don't want any nasty comments or anything like that, just simple praise and flattery will do

Our Religion teacher left as well We are all so happy, she hated us especially me and told us we did so badly we were going to get terrible grades but ended up giving me an A Well, she was insane..

I've managed to find the only song by Kid Rock I've ever liked So now I'm listening to 'Cowboy' online, boy do I feel like R.P.McMurphy *develops a swagger* Your grades will rocket eh? Now, how am I supposed to believe that pretty lady? My oh my, and with a teacher. Weel I neva, tsk tsk. *tips hat* Ma'am..

ANOTHER David Beckham? *promptly drops her cowboy accent* Noooo, please god nooo! One is enough! When will you people get it through your heads?! Why must I have to hurt all the people you hold dear, just because they like the England squad?! First it was Marius* now it's your teacher! Even if the similarities were a coincidence I still hate him for it

*Have you told him that he shares a name with Armands maker? Or did you make 'Marius' up as an exscuse for me to have somthing to yell at?

Would you please pass on this message to Prof.Petter:

----------------------------------
Dear Mr (I refuse to call you Prof because this isn't a friendly letter) Petter,

It has come to my attention that you, with your recently shaved head, bear a resemblence to Mr D.Beckham. I want you to do somthing about this, or I will be forced to take action and beat you up. It's nothing personal but as I am intending to harm a young man named Marius for liking the England football squad, I may as well sort out everyone else with similar problems. I hope your resemblence to Mr D.Beckham was a coincidence and you will correct this immediately. If you wish to discuss this further please pass all messages via my secretary Tilly *ducks a blow from Tilly* Also while you're at it, would you please make sure that my secretary recieves all A's from you and a kiss at the end of each lesson.

Yours Sincerely,
Nate Wood
[Friend & Employer of Miss T.Clark]

----------------------------------

Gah, I'm so tired. I didn't get much sleep last night so I'm whacked But then again, I've got another 2 weeks to sleep Ach, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be mean, that's uncalled for. But you did do it to me, so I'm just continuing the tradition

I'm so happy I wanna dance and sing! Exscuse me while I go and get delliriously happy! "Always look on the bright side of life... If life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten! And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing..."

I'm going to go and get all my stuff ready for school, even though it's 2 weeks away! Sarahs back off holiday so I'm happy about that too I'm soo easily amused..
Ta

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Gah, I feel like I'm going through a second childhood. Wait a sec so I can fetch my teddy bear... *Places Burly by screen* "...Oh you pretty Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang we love you..."

You know, this teddy bear must be the costliest bear I've ever owned - he cost well over £40, and I bought him this last time I was in London. He's so nice though - a lovely blonde, handmade, old fashioned bear, that kind with a long snout and moveable limbs He has obtained a permanent seat next by my pillow, and he is oh so huggable... The clerk told me the maker had named him Burl Hicks, so I still call him Burly

Ah... er... *cough* I'll grow up now I'm a 10th grader now, and I have a long and tough year in front of me, the teachers count on me, and... Oh, dash it! *Picks up Burly and gives him a long hug*

WHAT?! You've got ANOTHER two weeks of vacation?! But that's not fair! You've got nice tea and Michael Ball, while we only have skiing champions and the Nobel Peace Prize - you're well off as is! Why should you have a longer vacation?!

Oh. That's right.

You started your vacation later than us - you haven't got any LONGER holiday, you just make up for the late start. Ah. I can live with that

- No. I still want to at school later than this At least till the heathwave is over. Ah well.

Yuk! We let Missy run aroiund in the garden because there wasn't many neighbors around, and now she has dragged in a dead mouse There. I've picked it up and thrown it in the garbage. Missy is very confused how I did that put-it-in-a-paper-towel trick She probably brought it in to impress me though, "Look Tilde! I've caught a mouse for you! I'm a mighty hunter!" and what do I do? I take her hunting trophee from her. I wonder who is the most cruel... And another question: How on earth could she catch a mouse? She is so lazy and spoiled, she can't even catch my hand when I wave it slowly in front of her. Weird cat

Could be Prof. Petter's likeness to Becham was entirely coincidental: In this heat wave even I would wish to have a shaven head - And now that I've let mum cut my hair, it isn't far from it Which I'm really okay with, except I depend on my forelocks, which is now way too short - I find myself nervously tugging on them in a vain attempt to make them longer Well, I mostly use my trademark hat these days, so I manage.
But back to Prof. Petter: I cannot deny his loyalty to English football though. He has an album somewhere with pictures of him and Becham - Please don't beat him up. For me
Like you could - this man's a former footbal pro (and he got some nice muscles too )

I'll return to my shadow-seeking and bear-hugging activities

Toodles!

Currently listening to: The distant sound of my CD player upstairs.. DaftPunk 'digital love' if I'm not mistaken

*in strong Scottish accent* Ach! I could beat up that wee jessie Petter any day. His football talents are useless against my Hutchinson blood! Besides I have a sword You love him ya big girl.. *realises that isn't the best comparison* I have every right to beat the wee bairn into a bloody pulp, he does after all support England.. oh, and stop talking about his muscles!!

*snigger* Hee hee, you have a teddy bear! Ignore me, I'm just jealous. My childhood toy is somewhat mangled Me Mam put him in the tumbledryer and he sort of, shrunk. He's half the size of what he was now... I've had him since I was 7

Is being a 10th grader the same as being in year 10 over here Ach, I don't get your Norwegian yearing thingy system. If it is the same, then you're just going into year 10 over here, same as me.. hmm, I really don't get this

Gah! Thanks to my IM contact Robert (the fabled Bob) I've got a desire to draw 60's stuff! Him and his warped sense of fashion have turned me into a Biba drawing maniac I really hate him now.. as I was kicked off the computer I turned to my faithful companions pencil et paper, and all I could think of to draw was 60's fashion! So I braved a trip to the library and bought a copy of 'The Fashion Book' and 'Vogue, 20th century fashion.' I also made the mistake of asking "Do you have any books on The Commedia Dell Arte?" I stood there explaining for 40 mins, the ins and outs of Italian Drama in the Renaissance So I gave up, checked out my books and run and hid in the car.

I've sat upstairs for the past few hours, drawing panda eyed dames in funny dresses, Twiggy and people with knee high boots. Why? Why you ask? All because of a little man who quotes Friedrich Nietzsche at me, shows me sick sites and knows who Lestat is Nah, I love him really... uh oh, shouldn't have said that

Maybe the mouse was already dead? Maybe you should get the mouse stuffed and mounted as a reminder of the time Missy found a dead mouse and brought it into the house. I've never had a cat, shame, I'd praise my cat for senseless killing. Me? A? Why yes I am..

I'm going to go and draw Kate Moss now, how hard can it be? Sticks with bumps are easy enough
Ta

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: Myself singing a dirty (?) song from my childhood. I found the lyrics on some nostalgia website, and now I can't get it out of my head! I'll translate some of it here:

D'you remember the time when the mute sat and sang
And the fingerless played on the grand piano?
And a half-dead man sat on the bus and sang
"Do you wanna join me in my grave when I die?"
No, I cannot because my name is Nikolaj
And I was 25 years old when I was born
And my mother's a budgie and my father's a tin soldier
And they were both born in a tomato.

Okay, that translated into a very weird and utterly bizarre text It sounds a lot more catchier in Norwegian (example: budgie = 'undulat', tin soldier = 'tinn soldat') - THERE! I've even translated it nice and correctly, Mr Moderator
And it's really the next verse which is the dirty one, where people do unmentionable things with the unmentionables they don't have We were kids, okay?! It didn't have to make sense, as long as it was catchy, dirty and was great for singing on top of your lungs as you biked from school...

*Sigh* Yes. A 10th grader is the same as being in the year 10. It's the exactly same system, you see? I've been 10 years at school (actually, no, there was some muck up when I was a 3rd grader) and so have you. Now, breathe...

*Hums* "And they were both born in a tomato..." Arrg! I'll never ever get it out of my head! Why is it when I had totally forgotten that song for 7 years, it returns and get stuck in my head now? *Clutches head*

Trying to explain a librarian about Commedia Dell'Arte? Been there, done that And why is it that when the real problem is that she is ignorant, I always act like she is deaf? I keep talking louder and LOUDER AND LOUDER!!! "NO! You don't "SEE"! Commedia Dell'Arte! -ARTE! Ever heard about HARLEQUIN? No, I'm not talking about those romantic novels! The CHARACTER! Colourful suit? SLAPSTICK? Aw, c'mon lady!"
No, I'm not actually aggressive enough to talk like that to anyone. I just keep it inside... Brooding... Until one day when I cannot take it any longer

And I've just found out that I unconciously collect small Pierrot (No, rather call him Pedrolino) ceramic figurines. When I was cleaning in some attic, I found out that through the years I had bought several small white Pedrolino figurines, probably from the same producer. Pedrolino caressing a rose, Pedrolino sitting in a chair, Pedrolino weeping softly... I really had no idea that it was such an ecstensive collection! But that's just me being odd...

60s fashion? Sure... I found some real cool boots the other day - I can't use them because I tend to fall over a lot. And the other day I found one of my mother's pictures of the Monkees Weird... And have you heard? Someone told me that we're about to relive the 60s The last few years we've been through the 80s and 70s, so why not? I still hope we'll soon get to the 30s - a bit of Fred Astaire here and some Gene Kelly there... My dream world

Well, I'm getting more and more tired, which is probably the reason of all this babbling I've written here

Toodles!