h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Tries to remember all his best Martial Arts training and grappleing moves....



Bassman

I might just add, if I were taking this VERY SERIOUSLY I would have to smear vaseline over that special crotch piece, just for good measure.



Bassman

You're wrestling for your honor, too, Bassman,
especially when you're wrestling Batty.
You'll be honor at least part of the time
(and off'er the remainder)

( away from the groans that are sure to follow.)

Don't be silly Batty! Of course you have no honor!
Silly! ...*whispers to Batty...*Paul H just made a funny, but we don't want to encourage that sort of thing from him by laughing....bite your lip!

Paul H., tis I who shall be mudding it out with Bassman.
...no penalty for not reading backlog and/or forgetting what you've read...this place is sorta' like my Church, no rules.

...*begins stretching exercises...*

What are those creaking noises?



Bassman

Are you making fun of me Young Man?

*for all those Harry Enfield fans*

YOUNG MAN!!

Do you think I would dare.... Grandma?

s for cover....



Bassman

~~~~~~~~~ Flutters eyelids ~~~~~~~~~

You know I don't mean it babe



Bassman

No honor? No rules?

What kind of place is this?


(On second thought, better not answer that one.)

It's jusss the kind of place you'll find me in in RL!
('ceptin' for the honor part...I take that VERY seriously)
(and in RL there are rules, like no diving in the shallow end of the pooland I mean it too Young Man )

Oh Bassers, I know you love me...you needn't back peddle when you make fun of moi`......You know I give as good as I get. Besides...I am biologically old enough to be a granny...I just never hatched anyone.

......forgot what I was gonna' say......how unusual...

Well fellas...the storms are near...finally......
look at that...the grass actually is brown and hurts my feet.
If we get the rains like *they* say we will...I won't be on line as the power almost always goes out when there's a good blow. So, it'll be the dog and me and kitty makes three...I'm going to give Belle a little 'doggie-downer' as she had a traumatic experience
the day a tornado stuck 1/8 of a mile away & now she gets upset. I've made her a tent! It's true! her big round bed is in a corner or my bedroom & I've put a sheet over it closing the corners into drawers, tied onto a hanger in the closet & so on! You might wonder what led me to do such an odd thing...then again perhaps not.
When she's nervous she begs to get into bed with me & put her head under the covers. (BMan keep that pie hole shut)
So, instead of her taking up the entire bed...wa-la...she has her own lil' tent in which to hide her face. Just for storms you understand...*makes a note to make a tent of heavy blankets when the Winter winds blow...* Looks like I'll have my bed all to myself once again. Hey, that didn't use to make me happy......Granny you say? *wink*
G-day Everyone!

I could be a Gramps, except that you can't
have grandchildren if you didn't bother
to have children in the first place. I haven't
been able to find a way around *that* rule.

I have!
I have chosen children. They picked me. One young lady has five children...and they all call me Grandma Valerie. They couldn't say "Pandora"...

Aaaaaw.

Valerie is such a pretty name.
It reminds me of an old song.

(Actually, *everything* reminds me
of old songs .)



I love to go a wandering along the mountain track,
And as I go, I love to sing my napsack on my back.
Valerie, Valera, Valerie, Valera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hoo-hee-haw.

(Ooh, where did *those come from? )

Pie hole?

I don't know what you're inferring??!!??



Bassman

I thought pies with holes in them
were called donuts.

Guess as I get older I'll need to go Pan's route on getting grandchildren... only child I have is an antique retriever and she's fixed anyway...

Yes, Pan has figured out an excellent system.

I don't mind saying that, since this
is her fan club.

*Briefly pops back in and peers out from under a pile of back log*

Are you lot still here?

To hark back to children and grandchildren...

Pan is apparently willing to adopt my teenage mutant sulk-a-lot and is welcome to her if I can only persuade my offspring to divorce me as a mother!

Gee Gwennie.. maybe you should introduce yours to Michele's.. maybe they'll evil-teenager-ize each other...

I saw a sticker on a car bumper the other day that said:

If I'd known having grandchildren was so much fun - I'd have had them first.



Bassman