h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today I got the opportunity to tick off one of those little life experience boxes. The list of things that you ought to try once, but only once, in your life.

Have a car crash on the M25

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There was me, bright and early this morning, heading off to Canterbury for my Step-Mother's funeral. I did the A23 and the M23 with no problems at all. I turned onto the M25 and life was still OK. The traffic was a little heavy, but nothing unexpected for 8:15 in the morning.

I don't know if you know the vagueries of junctions 7 to 6 in the anti-clockwise direction - well it is a bit weird. The slip road off junction 7 and onto the M25 becomes a fourth lane for the motorway. Then within a mile or so there is a sign that says that this lane is going to become the slip road off for junction 6, and would you please all move over pronto. But there is problem here, in that the road at this point is cresting a hill, and it's not clear just how long you've got to make the switch - it's actually a good mile and more. So if you don't know the road you could be panicked into making the switch too early.

Well there's me tonking along in the second lane at just over 60. There's traffic going past me in the third and fouth lanes at 70+. There is a car in front of me which is not going that fast, and there is f*ck-off sized red German truck in lane one with his indicator on wanting to move into lane two.

This car in front is moving only marginally faster, if at all, than the German truck and I'm stuck with almost all of my car in front of the truck, but sadly not all of it.

Because the truck is German, the driver is sitting on the wrong side of the vehicle and can't fully see me. He starts to pull over. I just happen to check over my shoulder at that moment to see where he is, and I see him coming.

I've no time to do anything. Impact is happening now.

The front corner of the truck hits my car just about level with my back wheels. It, being f*ck-off sized, pushes my little Peugeot around from the back, and the car spins in front of him.

The passenger side of my car slams straight into his front bumper and we're moving forward, well him forward, me sideways, at about 60mph. What ever the two of us did with our various controls cause me to spin out on the other side of his lorry and onto the hard-shoulder and into the crash barriers.

It's at this point that that things get a bit hazy.

- I'm pretty confident that I span twice.
- I clipped the barrier at the rear with the drivers side of the car.
- I didn't spin out and hit him again.
- I did impact straight backwards a second time into the crash barrier, and do it rather solidly.
- There was a moment in time (it felt like an age) when I was in 5th gear, but travelling backwards and along the hard shoulder, looking in through the winscreens of the cars going past me, and at the drivers' horrified faces.
- I came to a standstill pointing more or less in the right direction of travel (off by about 45 degrees) and part in lane one and part on the hard shoulder.
- The engine stalled.
- There was a little green Peugeot in lane one who's driver had seen all of the fun and games, and had slammed on his brakes so had stopped, and didn't hit my protruding front end on the main carriageway.

The car started perfectly, and I limped it 200 yards up the hard shoulder to where a shocked German trucker had parked up his rig. The trucker comes haring down towards me saying, "I don't speak English too good. Are you all right? Is anyone hurt? Are you OK?" (Umm... that English sounds pretty good to me My German consists of the single phrase, "Ich bin ein Auslander" (It's a PWEI song.))

I use his phone to call the police to report the accident. The call is answered by a wonderfully reassuring sounding young lady. She couldn't be more helpful. The upshot of the conversaion is that they will send out one of the highway patrol vehicles to check us out.
These guys turn up in about 10 minutes, and they help us both sort out the exchange of insurance and registration detials, and what have you when you've had a collision with a foreigner. Me and the German shake hands and wish each other a safe journey. He's waved off by the highway guys, and I go sit in the back of their 4x4 and have a warm for a few minutes whilst I get my senses back.

One of the Highway chappies takes careful look at my car, and comes to the conclusion that as all the wheels seem to be pointing in the right direction, and none of the tyres are damaged, nor is there any bodywork protruding into the wheel arches, that I could if I wished continue with my journey. They'll help me back onto the carriageway, and if everything feels OK with the way that car handles, then off I can jolly well go.

I say that I'll give it a try. And blow me, it works fine. The car is running hunky-dory, and I continue on for the next 70 miles to Canterbury, and on to Susan's funeral.

So, what's the butcher's bill?

I'm fine. I'm without a scratch. My neck hurts a little, but I'm pretty convinced that that is because I'm dog-tired right now, and that it will be fixed with a good night's sleep.

The car... not so good. Shall we say that what little residual value a 12 year old Peugeot 306, in poor to average condition, with 133,000 miles on the clock went phut! today.
- the passenger side of the car is well and truly stoved in, with gashes and chunks of red paint transfer
- most of the rear bumper has been crushed into the car somewhat.
- one corner of the rear bumper on the driver's side is broken and hanging off.
- the side indicator on the driver side has been smeared down the side of the car.
- the driver side rear wheel arch is a little more compact than the original design specifications would have you believe.
- the main framework of the car has been bent out of shape such that none of the doors fit any longer. There's a 1cm gap around the front and the top of each door, and an overlap with the frame at the bottom and that rear.
- the boot wouldn't open until I gave it a bit of a heave. (I wish I hadn't done that, as it now won't close, nor ever will again I suppose.)

It's a pity I can't afford a new car at the moment. Heigh-ho...

Er, you know how you say that you can nearly always tell by the subject line of a thread that it's a BH journal, GD?

So this all happened in the middle of the rush hour? You must have made the traffic reports. Sorry to hear about the car, but if you're going to have a prang, it's good to have one with plenty of witnesses and an airtight case against the other driver.

I'm very glad that there weren't any other... consequences.

Traveller in Time glad you are alive
"Sounds like a pretty exciting funeral.

Hope there is enough public transport around. "

Glad you're OK, GD, blimey.

I don't think I ever want to tick that particular box

Jules

Oh dear look at that, me old spare never used personality just got muddled up!!

> "things that you ought to try once, but only once, in your life."

No, I'd vote for zero.

> "will be fixed with a good night's sleep."



Though I expect we'll hear about it if it isn't.

'prancing pilchard' *snigger*

Get lost

Having once been in a mini that went across what could have been two lanes of serious traffic but for the lights 400 yards down the road. I can appreciate what you went through GD and am glad you are OK.

Take care mate.

As if going to a funeral wasn't enough to cope with. Glad you came out of it OK, GD!

Glad your ok GD! It sounds really scary.

I assume you didn't have the sort of insurance that gives you a courtesy car while waiting for the other bloke's insurance to cough up the cash?

...so how was the funeral?

GD - when I read the thread title I had an image of the pallbearers dropping the coffin, followed by a punch-up with relatives who dislike each other at the wake.

However, I'm more convinced of driving angels than ever and I thank goodness that your particular one was paying attention and not slacking off.

Cars can be replaced, people can't.

Thank you to whomever was watching over GD

I'm convinced that the reason I came through this OK is becuase I happened to chose the split second before impact to look over my shoulder to check the progress of this here lorry. I had enough time to register that it was about to hit me, and that there was nothing that I could do about it - so relax, do nothing; it's not your problem.

I'm also interested in the lack of visual memories that I've got of the incident. I've basically got only three of them - impact; the going backwards down the hard shoulder; and stopping - that's it! I suppose that that is down to the fact that my brain for those few seconds must have been overloaded with information about a new and unusual situation, and couldn't take it all in. My memory of motion, and of impacts is far clearer than the visual memories.

As to insurance, there's not a lot of point making a claim. I'm going to tell the insurers obviously. But I can't see myself taking it any further, as any loss adjuster is going to take one look at the car and condemn it.

I doubt that the car before the accident was worth more than a couple hundred pounds as trade in. Certainly it wouldn't have sold to a private buyer - there were loads of small things wrong with the car; and when you drove it, one got the sense of a load of big things that might be about to go wrong. No, the plan had always been that I'd run the car up until its MOT in May, which it would fail, and then it would be scrapped. As all the mechanicals are 'working' just was well as they were before the crash, I don't see any reason to change the plan.

Surely they can offer you a settlement? And you can ask for something for stress, time off work, worry/sleepless nights/nightmares/strained neck/panic attacks - come on GD. You might end up with a cool grand in your hot little hand.

Enough to buy you a nice little runabout, or downpayment on a newer model.

I'm really freaked out at the thought that you're driving round in a prospective-MOT-failure.

Don't forget to tell them that you were on your way to a funeral.

But the thing is GB, I feel fine. I can hardly claim for personal injury if I haven't got one. And I'm not in the business of faking something like that.

I've now found the company who hit me. It was one of these lads - http://www.speditionpriess.de/priess_site_eng/spedition_02.htm - ain't the interweb just wonderful

Glad you're OK mate.

I've had a few prangs down the years - though the last was about 10 years ago - yet one of them I can still replay in my mind - that was about 25 years ago.

If you don't claim from the other insurance company, the accident will be considered to be your fault and may affect future insurance prices.

My mum's accident a couple of years ago currently counts against her, despite the bloke being sucessfully prosecuted, because the other insurance company hasn't paid out yet. I only found this out when I tried to add her as a named driver and they told me that.

Personally I think you're mad not to claim - every single claim I've ever made has *always* resulted in me getting more for the car than I paid - including my 14 year old Fiesta last year. Even if it's only £200, that's £200 more than you've got now. If you really don't want it, send it to me!

This is a great example of things I always put into my "let someone else do" file. I'm really glad you're ok.

Mina's right. File for the insurance.