h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

what for?

being an idiot

being an idiot is commenable and one should never be sorry for it. being a tax inspector, that's a completely different kettle of smelly socks.

indeed it is

It's no use hiding your smelly socks in the kettle.

The taxman will find them anyway.

Beware the taxman when you die - hell tax the pennies on your eyes

JT

Awww, thanks guys

What? Happiness and love in the area? No!!!!

*picks up chairs, tables and other items with the magnetic power of my comically oversized gauntlet and tosses them into oblivion*

Ahhhhhh, much better.

*relaxes*

Theres furniture in the arena?

I brought some in just to create some chaos. I thought smashed chairs and splintered wood would create that suitable aesthetic for the decor as well as setting a destructive ambience.

I suppose wood would, wouldn't it!

JT

Yes, wood would create it. But the real question of course is: how much wood could a Wood Chuck chuck if a Wood Chuck could chuck wood?

Lots, I expect, but has anyone seen a Wood Chuck to know how big it is, or what it might taste like?

JT

or indeed what a Wood Chuck actually is?

I'm of the understanding that it is a person whose vocation it is to chuck wood in various directions. Why he should want to do a thing or why someone would pay for that sort of thing is beyond my grasp, especially when an oversized, magnetically harnessed gauntlet could do the same job in a more efficient way.

but surely a magnetic field would have little or no effect on wood which is a non-magnetic substance in most of it's forms.

Everything in nature is subject to magnetic fields in one form or another, to varying degrees.

Tony's gauntlet obviously generates a strong enough field to control even the most magnetically-challenged of objects.

Did you see the way he chucked that wood around earlier?

Hey - wood... ...chucked... ...perhaps Tony's a Wood Chuck!

JT

It is my understanding that everything that is of the Earth has some part of magnetics inside them as the world itself is polarised by the magnetics of North and South. This means that everything is, to a varying degree, and even in the smallest amount, magnetic - similarly I could, in theory, kinetically control human movement as the energy passing through us is electric, which has magnetic qualities due to the electron particles that travel in the circuit.

Then again I only have a GCSE in science so I could be wrong.

Yay, someone else agrees with me, thats good enough for me.

And no, I am not a woodchuck, I am the bringer and creator of all that is unfathomable and without reason, the instigator of disarray on a mass-scale, I am the subject of John Milton's writings in Paradise Lost...

I
AM
Chaos!!!

Perhaps Pinky will know when she wakes up.

It sounds like an American creature to me.

JT