h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, I need somebody to hold the camera

Are you two, plus Lee (assuming she isn't a she-male) and Jennifer free Saturday night?

Erm... well, I can confirm that Lee really is a girl (although, yeah, technically we aren't *that* close ) and Jennie... is also one.

Saturday night? To do what? Is this gonna be one of those scary 'meet up with a guy you met online' things. Cos that's a little... odd... But if you wanna be hypothetical I'm entirely up for it (as you might have noticed ). Actually, since I'm not even in the country... well in the England country anyway... But I'm burbling. What was your plan?

*mwah*

Well, I thought Yangle could get the band together, set the bear-traps and play a gig. Then I could abduct the groupies and you could be ready with the camera?

Ah, that sort of Saturday night! My favourite! I have a whip, if it helps to subdue the men groopies and band dudes.

Much fun to be had - can it be a video camera? Cos that would get all the *action*....

Aaah, I see you've done this sort of thing before. Camcorder is fine, but whatever kind of camera you're going to use, make sure it's water-proof, or more to the point, chocolate body-paint proof.

*Pangs of jealousy.*

Right, I'll contact the lads. This is very rock n roll you know, especially with the body paint...

Jennie is the ginger one by the way, to divert to previous conversations.

Cool. i get dibs on jennie

Lol! I though it was ur plan to kill all gingers? or is it different when theyre your sex slaves?

perhaps it's something to do with her being a laydee. ergo, less likely to have ginger leg hair when wearing shorts.

What makes you think I won't bury the body after I'm finished with my sex slave?

Ahhhh...thats a good point.

Well, if you're just going to kill off all my geroupies I dont think I'll let you borrow them. Thats not the way to win fans you know, going around killing them!

I'll let you take out your vengence on some other ginger people I know though. True they're not a laydee, but still.

yes, ginger#1 or #2? (here's our graham with a reminder...)

so many ginger people, so little time. and anyway, if you did that to jennie, i wouldn't be able to get bakc my copy of 'wilde'.

You gave Jennie orlando bloom of ur own free will? You fool! Youll never get it back u know!

Freddy-please dont kill all my mates? as a reward I'll pay you in kind? will that do?

actually, i said she could borrow it... but i haven't personally lent it to her... so it should still be safe in my room if *you* haven't lent it out... *phew*

But Yangle, think of the publicity: "Mystery Serial Killer Linked To Project Trowel".

People would flock from thousands of miles to be a part of it!

And that would keep me in gingers (and groupies) for a while!

Do you really want to be kept in gingers? I mean, I know I have a fetish, but I inderstand I have a problem!

People would reallt flock in there thousands to be part of mass murder? People really are thrill seekers these days aren't they? Hmmmm....

Ok, go for it. You have my permission to increase my fan base!

Cool! Can I be your publicity manager, too?

I'll get you on the front page of Kerrang, NME and Murder Monthly!

Been thinking about the ginger thing. Y'see, most of my girlfriends have been brunettes, perhaps with a couple of blondes, but gingers have so far escaped my clutches. Coulda been in luck on Friday night, but said red-head decided she wanted a girl-only night out, then was highly offended when I refused to come meet her in a club about an hour later (I'd organised alternative "entertainment"). Maybe red-heads are far too complicated for a simple mind like mine.
Anyway, back to the slaughter - did you see that film "Urban Legend" earlier tonight?

urban legend? freaky film. saw it ages ago, as i knew instinctively i would not be able to watch it on tv in wales.

ooh, nme. i had such a fab teenager-y collection of them when i was younger. the architypal pile on my bedroom floor. so cool. way back when they were newspaper-y things too. god, i'm old.

so, how many millions of laydee-friends have you had? cos it sounds a little like you might be a ho. no offence. i myself am an asspiring ho. i'm working on it - i have 3 weeks till our may ball and i need a date, so am endevouring to be a ho in order to pull then. any tips? i feel i've forgotten how to pull as i was with my last boyfriend for 14 months, which is ages!!!

oh help.

ps that's *aspiring*. not asspiring, which coud be something else entirely. sorry.

Oh, not *that* many. If we're talking about notches on the bedpost, then I guess it's probably be about, er, seven, maybe eight.
That's not terribly high or low, is it?