h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, but you sang good, especially on that there "Good Riddance (Time of your Life)" - very proud was I. Yes, there was out-of-timeness, and yes, wtf was the drummerboy doing? But hey, it was only the 2nd gig and there's plenty of time for you to overcome this initial dodgyness, am I right?

Maidenhead? Is that in the bottom right?

Yes, but our first gig was better. So we're getting steadily worse. Nevermind. Well, at least we're chucking out drummerboy, or abandoning the band all together. (I have been invited to join Keirs deathmetal band, but thats a bit suspicious methinkst. hmmm...) Oh, well, Im not famous yet, but I'll get there. Just not with this band

Yup, that's roughly where Maidenhead is. Go down to London Village, turn right at the lights, keep going for a bit, make another right after Slough and then left at the roundabout. Simple.

Yangle - how about posting some band pics and MP3s on a website somewhere so that all your legions of fans can join in the fun without having to travel up to the freezing-cold northern territories of the British Empire?

Well, once I've got the pics back from this latest gig, I'll certainly let you have a gander. At me only of course, can't have you falling for any of my band mates

Dunno about MP3's though, that could just be embarrasing... we'll see.

Your my fan now then are you? Well, thats flattering. Wanna be my roady, allbeit from a great distance?

Looking forward to seeing these pics then. Don't worry about other band members in the photos - I promise not to fall for drummer boy

Hmmmm - Roadie? Think I've done my fair share of shifting heavy things about and sleeping in the back of a lorry at the fairground. Besides, if your band is mostly female, your groupies are likely to be the wrong gender for me to take advantage of

theres 3 lads and her. so mostly laydee groopies, of which i am one, as we were there for wishing good luck for her royal yangleness, not the others. they smell.

Lady groupies I can handle. Anyway - how big are the lads in the band? Need to make sure I can easily push them out of my way to get to the groupies. Or maybe I could set bear traps for them? Or if what you say is true, Jiggly, I could just throw odour-eaters at them and watch them disappear!

Oooo...bear traps, I miss those!
No, you could take all three of them with a hand tied behin ur back! Anyway, one has a girlfriend, one's "semi-gay" whatever that means, and the other doesn't stand a chance! Awww...bless him.

Anyways, if you get all my female groopies (which I will be highly jealous about) what do I get in return?

Uhhh.... the satisfaction of knowing that you've made Freddy very happy?

you guys are *so* rude. i feel left out. or am i the groopie?

Jiggly-no you are not the groopie! I saw them first!

Freddy-I want summat more substantial! Like a badge. or a bumper sticker, or summat.

firstly, ooh bumper sticker! if he gets one, can i have one too?

also, oi! how do you get the band first or whatever? your in the band! you get them first automatically! arg!

hey freddy, the only thing with bear traps and suchlike to remove male groopies and band members is that you have to watch out for the 'little dancing fool' TM called dave. very scary. he could foil your plans by jumping up and down and flailing his legs about. it has been known. yangle'll tell you.

Yup, he was weird and scary, but at least we have a fan. Allbeit a scary freak one! Argh!

Anyways, got photos back today so I will talk nicely to my mates with scanners, so you, Freddy, can see the wonder that is me.

Bumper stickers? Hmmmm - did you want one that said "I made Freddy very happy by sending drunken females in his direction?" In fact, I just received a load of WNEW 102.7FM New York and K-ROCK FM bumper stickers. And I put some on my car - now that I have a bumper on it again (my 3rd bumper this year)

Well you could get me a bumper sticker that reads "I made Liz very happy by getting her a bumper sticker with the car still attached"

If you did this for me, I would be paying you in kind for years... ahem.

Right, you want my drunken female groupies? Fair enough. I can see how this would amuse you...I'll see what I can do.

*tries to ignore pangs of jealousy, but fails*

If it helps, they're called Lee and Jennie. And me, of course. I'm Kathryn. Hi!

There are more of them then just Lee and Jennie, sexy as they are! Thre's Lizzy, Jo, Anna, Holly (she's a bint though!), the list goes on....

admittedly there are more male groupie, but I'll gladly loan you some of the female ones, when I know what I'm getting out of it!

Yangle, no need to be jealous - there'll always be a special place for you in the heart (and bedroom?) of Freddy.

Jiggly - thanks for the info. Bit worried now. Surely "Lee" is a bloke?

Always.

No, Lee is most definitly a girl. A damn sexy one at that!

Her royal Lee-ness has (as far as we know) always been a laydee. She's cool, all blonde and lovely.

But, hey, what about me??