h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the fog of war
You can easily forget
Which side is winning.

nt: car number plates

A pile of letters
Don't make sense to me but they
Can catch bad drivers.

NT: The Easter Bunny

pink monstrosity
bearing sweet treats for all, is
strangely comforting

NT: grey flannel trousers (slightly damp)

Unsure 'bout flannel
Is it like bathroom flannel?
In that case, always damp.

That probably made no sense whatever.

nt: A giant marshmellow man who invades poland.

sugary blitzkreig
on solidarity's home
well! they're solid now!

ps. grey flannel trousers were the 'dress pants' of the british (school uniforms and civil service) for many, many, years. As a schoolboy in Scotland, I knew all too well the terror that lurked in slightly damp grey flannel pants. a chaffing, and a rubbing, and an itching that is causing me to squirm even now, simply writing about it....

NT: the large piece of topping plus cheese that slides off the pizza, just as you're picking it up, that then lands on your lap (leaving a greasy stain) in a very non-strategic position, just as the doorbell rings, pressed by your very sexy neighbor for whom you've had the hots... and she knows you're home, because she saw the pizza guy deliver!

(p.s. and this has NEVER happened to me)

(p.p.s. and this will NEVER happen to me, because I am happily married and no longer care about the state of my pants in any area, strategic or not, unless so instructed by my darling, and very intelligent, wife)

ps. the 'they're solid now' thing... sugar exposed to air gets all hard & crusty... so...


probably didn't need to explain

I'm sure you're all very accomplished and intelligent

I don't like pizza.
And I don't have a doorbell.
P'raps I'm the neighbour?

nt : A Haiku-riposte from the Toronto Tourism Office

Welcome to visit
But please do not sneeze out loud
Unless wearing masks

nt: that ticklish spot behind the knees

Kasei

Can't look at it as
I cannot bend, but why it
tickles? I don't know!

nt: paint hand prints

digital painting
or leaning in the wrong spot
leaves a big hand print.

nt: the blue fuzz on the thingin the bottom of the fridge

I think it's alive
It might jump out and bite me
Must close the fridge NOW!

Kasei

Ooopps sorry....forgot new topic.

nt: the black rings under the eyes when you sleep with your mascara on

Kasei

Mum tells me to cleanse
Before bed, But I do forget
And then wake up smudged

nt: Toast that is curly at the edges

Toasty tasty good
Like it with vegemite but
Why it curls dont know.

nt: instructions on how to eat cake

How should one eat cake?
slowly, from a small side plate
with a dessert fork.

NT: instructions on how to eat pizza

With strings of hot cheese
running down your face and hands
You'll need a napkin

nt: that frustration you feel when the word your trying to look up isn't in the cheap dictionary your aunt gave you for christmas.

where is that damn word
oooohh! great horny toed lizards!
why can't I find it!!!!!!!

(sounds better in a Yosemite Sam voice) (he is always the archetype of unrelieved angst to me)

NT: the inadvisability of spilling coffee on your keyboard... oops!

Buzzing from caffine
SPLASH. Oh no not the keyboard!
Dont try this at home!

nt: Amundsen Vs Scott in the race to the south pole.

Amundsen and Scott
Were racing to the North Pole.
Why did they bother?

nt: The Fourth Moon of saturn and it's evil space toads.

Visit Dione
See the Evil Space Toads Live!
Saturn is Sooo Cool!

, for the uninitiated, is the fourth moon of Saturn

NT: the stupid little wheels at the front of big long dragsters