Journal Entries
Love is the Drug
Posted Oct 13, 2003
And just like Class A narcotics, the come down is a bitch and in absolutely no way is it worth it.
Ever.
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Latest reply: Oct 13, 2003
The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum
Posted Oct 9, 2003
Or: The joys of working in a Government Funded Department. Part 73 of a lifetime series.
(Please note: The department described in this piece is entirely hypothetical and in no way should it be assumed that it is meant to resemble a real Government Department IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER.)
Those with a nervous disposition with regard to the use of their taxes may wish to look away now.
Let us assume the following. There is a Government Department responsible for prosecuting criminals. Part of its remit, naturally enough, is to inform and deal generally with witnesses and the victims of crime. The Government has identified that witnesses and Victims of crime get a bit of a rough deal at court because trials keep being put off for various petty fogging reasons (witnesses not attending, defendants pleading at the door of the court, vital evidence missing, defendants not being brought to court from prison because the prison governor didn't think we were serious, prisoners being sent to court in vans who also have to call at the Palaise de Justice, Lyon and the Supreme Court, Gdansk thus meaning he might arrive just a little after the agreed start time of the trial, that sort of thing.)
To combat the problem, the government introduces an entirely hypothetical initiative - The Witnesses and Victims of Crime Initiative. In order to get it started, you might want to take a sample from the Courts of what happens at these trials and work out were the problems were.
Let us assume that in one of the Pilot areas, by all demonstrable measure, performance is found to be perfect for two of the four months sampled, and the next best thing to perfect for the other two - a total of three aborted trials in four months across a total of twelve courts are directly attributable to to the failure of this department and it’s staff.
Lets assume that the Government have employed a Management Analyst (cost £200k) to analyse this problem. He says these figures are excellent, but of course the rest of the country won't like the standard being set as low as this excellent performance. And of course, if performance is already that close to perfect, it will be very difficult to prove what a huge success this new Government Initiative has been.
The solution of course is simple. You artificially rig the figures to show that the number of failed cases before the initiative was *much* higher.
Do you think they'd believe it if I wrote it as a comedy?
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Latest reply: Oct 9, 2003
Oooh, luverly jubbly.
Posted Oct 6, 2003
The Blues Project is finally on the front page. Makes me all warm and glowy inside. Or something.
A1095248 appears to be where they are at at the moment, but I have a sneaky feeling that may change in the not to distant future...
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Latest reply: Oct 6, 2003
Another weekend done...
Posted Oct 5, 2003
And pretty good it was too.
Started Friday night by popping down the road to se the excellent Roy Mette. Who yet again played to a pub load of air and eight paying punters, five of whom were personal friends of his. As usual he took it good humour and played a blinder.
Saturday - busy busy busy. To London, and shopping. How dare they re-locate Forbidden Planet without telling me? Though the new premises are really nice, I must say. Then to the Barbican and the Skin Two Expo, where i spent just a little bit toomuch money but i guess i can do without eating for the rest of the month, eh? 
Then to the cinema to see Hayao Miyazaki's much lauded 'Spirted Away'. And the plaudits are fully deserved and Miyazaki-sensei's positon as not only the greatest animatted film maker in the worldm, but also one of the best film makers full stop is once again re-inforced.
Sunday. After that weekend you want i should do something on Sunday? Gimme a break.
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Latest reply: Oct 5, 2003
Well...
Posted Sep 29, 2003
Just a quick note to welcome what appears to be a very large list of friends. I never knew you all cared...
I'm sure some of you don't really exist and that some of you are only figments of my imagination (which makes me a very sick puppy indeed).
If you throw me food I may well persuaded to do 
s. 
Discuss this Journal entry [35]
Latest reply: Sep 29, 2003
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like
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