h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Effers< And for purely personal reasons, it'll be a relief not having to hear so much 'anti-American' stuff based purely on the fact of the having a Republican president, particularly after the one of the last 8 years>

Whenever goverments of any country do dodgy things the phrase: the yanks, the brits, the frogs, the taffs etc gets used to criticise what the politicians are doing rather than the people of a country.

When someone says: 'Bloody Americans always trying to spread democracy around the world by the bullet.' or 'The Brits - always following in on the Americans tail.' They aren't talking about the ordinary Joe in the street but politicians and the political machine.

I have found it fascinating how the huge shout to invade Iraq has turned sour now that lots of American soldiers have been killed.

I am trying to find out what an old female friend in Florida and a democrat thinks of all this. She was disenfrachised last time when alot of Demcratic voters didn;t get their voting papers so couldn't vote.

Have you ever seen the critic and playwright, Bonnie Greer on telly, 3dots. She was a regular arts critic on Newsnight Review. She lives(ed) ? in the UK. She always came across as highly intelligent and regualarly explained about how great swathes of working class, particularly black Americans could as little relate to the policies of Bush than anyone else in the world could. She was also sometimes on Question Time. I haven't seen her for a while.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/review/panel/1965403.stm

What facinates me as that traditionally so many people have failed to vote in presidential elections. But that appears to be changing.

And yes it is always good to get the POV of people who actually live in the country.

I do have a problem with this apparent unthinking and insensitive policy of pushing democracy everywhere left right and centre, at a rate of knots by Bush, and his way of expressing it in speeches. Perception by the rest of the world is important, because the US is such an incredible superpower. But the take on things from a US perspective would be good.

Maybe more Americans will feel safer to talk about things on h2g2 about political things if there is a change of atmosphere and perception. I hope so.

The name rings a bell but I coudn't say I remember hearing her views.

I would hope Americans would feel safe whenever about talking politics on Hootoo. It's anonymous and the best place to do it.

(3dots at present on this thread, I'd prefer to go back to just back to talking about the problems of dealing with bipolar, as I have it, rather than get involved with othr stuff lately, that if I'm honest is just basically deflection from things I'm *feeling* at present. For many of us it's a hellish thing to struggle with, and is *not* helped by not facing up to the *reality*. I feel better in general since I've been more upfront on h2g2 about it, and am able to share it with others who are fully aware of the reality and fact of it. Lots of people just do not fully understand the *hard facts and reality*, and that just makes me feel much worse.)

3dots it is absolutely not just a case of watching a few cheerful films or learning to play the Uke. I won't say making the effort to do certain things doesn't help. But sometimes just making the effort to do anything at all is all you can do. It is definite *medical condition* that affects brain chemistry. And cheerful films and ukeleles are about as useful as blowing candles out on a birthday cake and making a wish, at present. Others may find such type of things useful. But I know for me that it is properly tested and proven conventional pharmaceuticals that are the only thing that can begin to touch it, at present.

I'm feeling pretty angry at present about all the ignorance about it. Somebody started a question today on ASk about some unhappiness they have at present in their job, and asked for advice. I am posting here because I was enraged to see the person write.

>>(I should say that I really am not some sort of "flake" or nutcase - HONEST! - I have got a 1st Class Honours degree and a load of work experience and I am not someone who does not want to work <

The title of the thread being >Do you think I am MAD? (Job related)<

Firstly the title, then the disaparaging term, 'nutcase', used in the post and then the apparent linkage with having a degree; (For cluck sakes I have two of them). Having a certain intellectual/educational attainement is neither here nor there. Any sort of connection between the two is completely irrelevant as any intelligent person knows, nutcase or no. And what's with this cr@p, 'does not want to work'? What an earth is the nasty insinuation of this remark? All it does is created an impression of people with mental disorders being parasitic nutters that deserve nothing but being despised.

And then, in a subsequent post,

>I did think of going to see my Doctor, but have ruled that out as I would just feel so guilty being signed off work and then handing in my notice, <

Like as if it didn't occur that a doctor spends years and years training at medical school so that they can make a medical assessment of the best medication and treatment; it's not for a lay person to second guess what the 'prescription' might be, so they would not visit the doctor. Again this kind of irrational assumption makes me angry.

Feeling as bad as I do at present, I thought it better to sound off here with someone who also understands the HARD REALITY of dealing with this illness, and all the attendant ignorance about it that we have to deal with, that makes the whole thing 100X worse. And that's the reason for feeling so worthless in the eyes of others that you really go badly downhill.

I won't be posting on that thread, or have any interest whatsoever in knowing about any excuses or reasons for someone writing such stuff, ie they are young, naive, didn't think clearly etc etc. *I just don't want to know*. Just dealing with *my own things* is all I can do at present.

And I think bringing it here, to *this thread* rather than getting angry on that thread was the best and most sensible thing to do.

It's very good to be able to post somewhere where you know someone else really understands the *reality* and fully takes that on board how really tough it can be, and not just be viewed as some kind of work shy, nutter that deserves nothing but contempt .

NB. The only reason I am going into such detail here, is because of the context of this particular thread. I wouldn't dream of taking all this anywhere else.

JEllen I know you can't sort anything out for me, anymore than I can you when things are difficult for you. But I felt the need to let off a bit of steam.

No probs. I know it's as simple as films and ukes...I'll just and learn a few things.

Hi Effers, Hi Triple Dot. *waves*

I may have a go look see at that thread. I'm glad you found it first, because I think if I had just stumbled across it, I might have really lost my temper on it. As it is, I may just lurk. Yeh, it amazing how often I feel like I have to justify my existence by telling people I have a degree, or emphasizing that I am a capable artist. The stigma is so bad, what is one to do? Luckily I don't feel the full brunt of it, because most of my online friends, and RL friends, are cool about it. But I dread meeting new people for that reason. I hate is when the chit chat ends, and they ask, "What do you do?"

PS My brother once paid me the compliment of saying that he just thought of me as his sister, not as his "mentally ill" sister.

Dot, if you still want to talk politics, feel free to start a thread on my page.

Hi JEllen, yeah I felt able to barely bear to read any of it at present, the way I feel. I just get *so* angry, and get stuff out of proportion. I'll just post it a bit here now and then about things. It's good to have this thread for this. I can't properly explain, but it's like a reassurance somehow.

Yeah 3dots. You're a cutie....Thanks!

I'm trying to stay up till bedtime. If I nap now, I'm bound to wake up at 3am. Did I tell you I decided not to try Lunesta? Too many side effects. I've ordered some hypnosis CDs instead.

It's a shock for me to feel so down again because I've been so up for so long. And it's been so good to be off the anti depressants for a few months, the first time in years. And when this happens I get so bitter about having this condition. I forget how absolutely brilliant and priviledged I felt back in April/May to have it. It's so bad at present I can't even look at the photos I took back in the spring, but I must force myself this week to carry on with the garden photos for my gallery.

It's good to have this thread, because I can't stand the idea of people thinking I wallow in this thing. I do everything I can to fight it. In many ways that's the worst of things for me. The utter humiliation of thinking others will think I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I actually avoid contact altogether with people rather than have them think that about me. So if I can be a bit honest here about things it really helps.

I'm seeing my parents this week. Oh Christ..........Row time......

I'm assuming you mean arguments, not rowing your boat!

I'm getting too tired to post, but I'll be back soon with more comments. Hang in there.

JEllen


to you too.

I'm hopefully going to see my psychiatrist next week about changing meds, (he's on annual leave this week). I made an appointment today.

Also I phoned the people up today, who are judging the film thing I sent off to a while ago, I told you about). There is a delay in judging she said. But she remembered my film, and said how much she liked it. So whatever. At least someone liked it. I'll let you know.

I see my psychiatrist tomorrow. But I doubt I'll change any of my meds at the moment. Good luck on your visit next week.

I'm very keen to back painting again. I know my sister must be impatient for me to finish her abstract.

I spoke to my psychiatrist today on the phone. Goodness me he's so lovely and very bright, or so it seems to me. I thought you might be interested to know what his opinion is. He said the latest thinking is that when the mood change hits a bipolar, like when its clinically obvious, as I told him in my own case, suddenly I can't taste food flavours properly and I really can't see colours properly, compulsive thinking, and I'm crying a lot, that you hit it really hard as soon as possible. He suggested to take the antipsychotic, olanzapine and to take zopiclone every night for sleep. He said zopiclone, is NOT addictive. And that olanzapine should help because it is *also* antidepressant. I told him I hadn't slept properly since early May. He said that was probably a big factor.

He absolutely agreed with me that its best to take a short term approach to things and prevent long term dependancy on things like antidepressants, if at all possible.

I have a lot of respect for him because he seems to understand that when dealing with bipolar you have to be *realistic*, and it's always cost/benefits.

I'm seeing him in a couple of weeks.

I've gone into a fair bit of detail here, as I'm interested to know how it compares to what you are told. But I have to say he is one of the best psychiatrists I've had in a long while. He seems really genned up on the latest drugs and treatment regimes, but also completely ordinary, respectful and chatty with me on a human level, and quite open to discussing the plusses and minusses of any of the many treatment options. It's so nice to be able to talk honestly with someone about how it is, and for him to listen to me, but then just say, 'Well I'll just tell you the way I see things; but you always have a choice'.

I take a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant. Luckily I can go up and down on my antidepressant as necessary -- during a depression, of course I take more, and if I feel manic, I cut down to almost none. It works very well, and I am glad that my doctor trusts me to tweak the antidepressant like that. He's a very nice doctor, and as you say, it's a partnership, not a dictatorship. He seems to know his stuff. He gave me some samples of Lunesta in case I change my mind about taking it. For now, I am waiting to get those hypnosis cds to see if they help.

Let me look up those meds you mentioned, so I can comment on them.

Olanzapine is known as Zyprexa here. I used to take it on a regular basis, and did okay, but not as well as I am doing now. BUT I still take a little bit of it if I feel manic. Oddly enough, it never made me very sleepy, maybe because I was on a low dose. If I understand correctly, Zopiclone is marketed here as Lunesta.

Yeah what you do is what I used to do. But now I've managed to come off the anti depressants the doc is trying to help me carry on with that. I am now finally able to sleep something like normally on 10mg of olanzapine (zyprexa), and 7.5mg of zopliclone (lunestra) per night. And I take 50mg lamotrigine each day as a mood stabiliser.

I dunno......

What a stupid bloody illness........

Hey JEllen they just rang to say I came second in that film competition, with my Underwater film' about the Thames road tunnnel, with my new camera. It will be shown on saturday and sunday this weekend at the Thames Festival, I'm very excited...but being a typical perefctionist, I'm cross I only came second... But it was a competition for the whole of London....(Look out for me at next year's Oscars )

I'm a bit scared with the sudden excitement.......

Wow, I'm very impressed, that's great! Absolutely cool! I know how hard it is to make a good film -- I remember from my film student days. You should be proud.



Don't be too discouraged about your latest low mood, it will swing back up. It's just the waiting for the upswing that gets you. I hope the excitement about your film will give you a real boost.

I'm doing really, really well today. Upbeat, focused, good mood. Even my therapist commented on it.