h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good about your brother and grand nephew

But yeah this creative thing can be irritatingly elusive sometimes can't it. I got a new video camera a few weeks ago. I've been putting off reading the manual.. Charged battery up yesterday, and want to use it to film a road tunnel running under Thames for film competition. Deadline 1 August. But I keep putting it off. Still doing garden photos though, except nothing today - it rained all day.

But it's always good to have a deadline.

You will use those paints. I'll be nagging you about it... And yes sleep is good - ultimately its rejuvenating I think.

Good! LOL I can use some nagging. And I'll nag back about your deadlines!

Well I'm going filming at some point tomorrow, with the new camera. A good friend is helping. I'm driving. He's filming. I'm the director, he's the crew. 'Funny' he said, 'directors don't usually do the driving' ...Trouble is he can't drive..

I spent to day playing with the camera and the dreaded manual, I'm getting there. It's actually fairly straightforward really..(I have to say what a sane thing, art making is. I've got seriously fed up and depressed lately with all the religious stuff in the news here, and it doesn't help my sanity sometimes posting on the Dawkin's thread; so I'm taking a sensible break from it.)

So I hope you're feeling a bit less down. And don't panic, the creative thing will come back again. I decided not to nag you about painting, even in jest. It doesn't help, I know.

Keep on trucking...

Ah, going filming sounds FUN! Have a great time.

Me, I'm going to settle down for a nice little nap. Thanks for the reassuring words about creativity coming back. I'm sure it will.

Been working on a budget. Can I stand the excitement?!

A budget?

A household budget?

Whatever - it sounds thrilling.........


I've been working on my film. The filming itself went great, (except there's a slight problem with the movie tripod, which I've had to send back to Germany where it came from; I got it through Amazon UK. You'd think we Brits could build a bloody tripod...)

Anyway have spent hours over the last few evenings on the editing, and it will only be about 2.5 minutes long..... But it's all about a scarily narrow Victorian road tunnel under the Thames, which people tend to drive through at a ridiculous speed, hence the film is speedy too. But for the competition it could only be a max of 5 mins in any case. Whether or not it gets selected, I'm very pleased with it.

Cool! (your film)

Yes, household budget.

It's almost 6am and I haven't gone to bed. I'd better go to bed soon. Hard to break the hootoo habit though.

Hi Effers, I'm still trying to lick this depression.

Hi JEllen. Have just awoken. Sleep is *still* a problem.

Have you thought of trying 'lamotrigine'. It's the mood stabilizer I 've been on for some time now. I no longer need anti-depressants. My psychiatrist said it actually has an anti depressant effect in itself. Things have vastly improved mood wise for me, not to mention artistic output, since I switched to it. (And yes I'm well aware that this prolonged 'up' may not last) But you should maybe speak to your doctor about it. I'm never going back on tegretol/carbamezapine as a mood stabilizer that's for sure. AFAIK lamotrigine, or whatever name it has in the States, is a fairly newish drug. Just a thought.

And yes I fear depression returning all the time. I had it bad last winter for months and months, My real sympathies to you. It *won't* last forever. I know everyone says this. But it's a fellow bipolar saying it to you.

Thanks for good cheer. And as for that med, I may consider it in the future.

Are you feeling any better JEllen?

And I've been meaning to ask you for sometime if you get problems with 'anxiety' at all. I get it a lot. A kind of generalised anxiety that comes and goes. It's hard to really pin down what causes it. But its pretty unpleasant - a kind of dread. I know its quite common for bipolar people to get it badly. And it causes a lot of problems with trust and judging others sometimes.

Hi Effers, I am in fact feeling a little better! Yay!

I am trying a new diet, a gluten free one. We'll see if it improves my mood and/or sleep habit.

Yes, I have some anxiety, and take Gabitril for that. I don't have it as bad now though that I am not working. Back when I was trying to work, in retail, I had the most excruciating panic attacks.

Hi Effersm, how goes it? Things have been so darn quiet, both online and off.

Blame the typo on Micio!

Sort of okay...I think..

Up and down and mixed....

Sort of my usual default really, or variations on a theme of.

I think the sleep problem may well be indefinite. This lamotrigine is really good in a lot of ways but it does tend to make it hard to switch off compulsive 'thinking', and relax properly. As with all these medications, it's swings and roundabouts.

Hope things are still better for you.

Yup, I'm mostly doing better, but have been a little revved up. I must be careful not to get manic.

Went out tonight for Chinese food, it was yummy.

Hi JEllen,

I saw you posted on that 'films that make you cry thread' on Ask. Thank you for understanding about that curlew film I mentioned. It's ridiculous because this morning I've been crying about it again. And it's so many years ago I saw it. It's what these things represent though.The emotional side of me is every bit as strong as the so called 'intellectual'. And sometimes I don't know where I fit in. And trying to integrate those two parts of myself is quite difficult. And there's this thing I have about 'birds'. They are so magical in some way for me. I won't start on about another bird story, 'The Snow Goose' by Paul Gallico, which was read on the radio once. The results were the same. A friend ended up slapping me on the cheek, because I actually started laughing with all the crying. I wasn't *feeling* laughter but I couldn't control it. It was the weirdest thing...

But in some ways, I'm pleased to be such an emotional person, underneath all that 'thinking' stuff. It just feels so *real*. And I just don't care sometimes, what others think of me being like that.

Can you relate to that?

Yes, I can definitely relate to that. Back in high school I took a personality test, and was split evenly between the thinking and feeling categories. (I think the test was the Myers Briggs one) I have really strong emotions, which is why I'm able to lose myself in movies so easily. I just become the characters.

And I've done the whole crying so hard you start laughing thing too. Luckily that was years ago. Hope it doesn't happen again any time soon.

I'm bouncing along on a mild mania. Not too bad.

Have cut back on my antidepressant, and am feeling more or less normal, whatever that is. Watched Atonement again tonight, and had a good cry. Why I buy such sad movies I'll never know. Okay, I do know -- it's really well made and the bookcase scene is sexy. Still, need lots of Kleenex.

I still haven't watched Atonement yet. (The bookcase scene, sounds intriguing, ). Yes I enjoy sad films too, (but as I mentioned on the crying film thread, there are limits). I feel a degree of reassurance when I watch films that have 'loss' and 'poignancy' in them. That's often real life after all. And all the sugary happy ending stuff, can get quite depressing sometimes, depending on mood I find. i find it a relief to see sad things acted out. It makes me feel less alone with my own feelings of loss and sadness in my life that I feel about various things.

But yes I agree, such a film has to be well-made, and certainly not just unrelenting clear cut misery. It's poignant sadness, I often go for rather than out and out misery. And I like my films to be complex in all the emotional stuff.

>feeling more or less normal, whatever that is. <

Yes, what the hell is that like then?

My mood is fairly low at present, and doesn't really come across in my postings I think.

This time of year is always difficult for me, as i see nature declining and daylength shortens. It kind of colours the things in everyday life for me, much as spring colours things in a somewhat artificially optimistic light. But that's an improvement on last year, when I was even depressed during spring.

I watched 'Heartbreak at Bended Knee' last night, about Sioux Indians, and the ending of their hunting culture as their lands were taken from them and they were forced to settle on individual owned patches of land to grow crops. It was so alien to all their cultural traditions and way of life for thousands of years that it was a pretty tragic film. Have you seen it?

(BTW I'm not in any way talking about this to be critical of the US, we Brits have done the same all over the world, and it was us lot the started the whole thing off, in any case. I'm just mentioning it as a film that had me feeling pretty dammed sad, but quite interesting because of all dilemmas it threw up for the characters and how best to cope with a very difficult situation).