h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here's a superhero/villain with two strings to his bow:

'Building floor collapse man' and, more specifically (because we know now that's how the BBC likes things, 'London building collapse man'.

I don't know what he's got against provincial buildings, but there we are.

Superheroes have been a bit thin on the ground lately. Is there a convention on somewhere? If there is, Twitter Comment Councillor must have got special dispensation to avoid attending. So that he post some comments on Twitter perhaps? You'd have thought though, he'd be the ideal superhero to have at a superhero convention.

Maybe he just didn't get the email.

Maybe he has B.O. (should have used Lifebuoy).

Well, there's always Florida Man. Currently he's constantly belching.

http://www.myfoxphilly.com/story/25571187/embarrassment




(The headline is funny, but I do feel for this man.)

"...has no insurance"

Nuff said. Anyone who wants to repeal the Affordable Care Act or who thinks the present healthcare system in the US is just fine needs to take a good long look in the... ah, what am I saying. Those people are never going to change their minds.

Nope. You can't make appeals to empathy with people who idolize Ayn Rand.

The BBC obviously doesn't own the copyright on making up impenetrable headlines.

http://twitter.com/conor_pope/status/473018003404357632/photo/1

Good grief

"Cathedral trouser drop and punch man"

I... I have no words.

Alan Moore would have to write that one.

Nearly naked suspenders man.

As if that isn't bizarre enough, the story itself... well, forget Alan Moore. The only person who could write this one is William Burroughs on a bad trip http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-devon-27814790

"King was on prison licence after being released early from a sentence for going into a McDonald's wearing only a blonde wig, sandals and pink gloves."
Ah, so before he was Nearly Naked Suspenders Man he was Nearly Naked Blonde Wig and Pink Gloves Man? Sounds to me like he has multiple superhero disorder.

"He said: "He was walking towards the High Street utterly naked apart from a bright pink Alice band on his head and a white and pink suspender belt which left his private parts exposed."
What the hell's an Alice band, btw?

"He walked down the High Street towards Boots. The arresting officers spoke of women showing signs of distress but the CCTV shows the few people who were about to have paid remarkably little attention."
Well, y'know - Exeter. Y'know?

"King later said he did not know what he was doing because he had drunk a pint of cider in a pub which made him lose control of himself."
Presumably he was using his secret identity while at the pub and only changed into his Nearly Naked Suspenders Man costume when he left. And one pint of cider? Bit of a lightweight.

"Judge Graham Cottle said: "I would like to be able to explore why your life has started to unravel after many years of being a law-abiding citizen.""
So we would all, your Worship, so would we all.

Something else that's occurred to me on re-reading that post.

He must have been wearing his superhero costume when he left home, meaning he planned to use it. It seems unlikely he bought them on a whim. So should Parliament consider a new offence of going about equipped to be a naked superhero? Or wearing a suspender belt with intent? Won't somebody please think of the children?

Slurry Father made the headlines locally - he's in recovery.

I saw the headlines for that story but my attention was drawn more by Cow Slurry Fetishist http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cornwall-27643702

Ok... a few questions. I looked up Alice band so I get that it, s just an elastic hair band.

What I'm curious about is the suspenders. My first thought was they were the American style suspenders, over the shoulders to hold up trousers. But that led to the question of what they were attached to?!

Then I assumed it might mean mens garters for socks. But then I read the article and they refer to a suspender belt.

So, we're talking ladies' garter belt, correct?

That's right.

That's much less disturbing than my original idea. And much less painful.

It's the 'Nearly naked' bit that flummoxes me. If all you're wearing is a suspender belt and a hairband I think it's okay to go with just plain starkers. The people who make up BBC headlines must get paid by the word judging by how many they try to cram into each headline.

Well, someone at the Beeb is reading your posts, because shortly after you posted this, ie by the time I read the article, it was changed to simply "Exeter Suspenders Man...".

The headline on the story itself says Exeter suspenders man but the links to it still say Nearly naked suspenders man http://www.bbc.com/news/england/devon/

Our crusade to get stop the BBC mangling the English language must continue, for it is a righteous crusade.

Oh, yeah. I nearly forgot BBC's predilection for giving one story multiple headlines. It's always the sideline links that have the most "clickworthy" headlines.

"Our crusade to get stop the BBC mangling the English language must continue"

Oh, the irony

I blame 2legs. And this poxy keyboard.