h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The BBC is getting in on the act of creating new superheroes!

Nursery finger trap boy
Manchester baby circumcision death mum
Cyclist bus death driver
Fugitive TV baby death father
Tesco syringe loaf man
Naked statue climb man
Ski trip death girl
Ditch dumped men
Mystery church collapse man
Politician threat arrest man
Death notice mistake kit man
Mother screwdriver killer
Bed fall death wife
Uranium shoe man
NY leg sever crash woman

I'll have a pint of what you've had

Oh, it's far to early for yet. I haven't even had breakfast!

Seriously, those are all bono fido BBC headlines. And not even the most of the collection. This one "Bridge fall murder attempt arrest" had me scratching my head until I read the actual story http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-20336887 It's like they took a bunch of words, threw them up in the air and then just picked some off the floor at random.

Yahoo News had a good one recently. "'Favorite' singer surprises girl with cancer".

I bet that was quite a surprise.

I saw one very much like that a few days ago. It might even have been that one, my memory is so bad these days.

Oooh! I've just spotted another new superhero courtesy of BBC news:

Naked urinating airport man tasered!

I saw that one yesterday too. There have been a good few others since I began this thread. Maybe I should start recording them... and copyrighting them so that I can become mind-bogglingly rich when someone licences the name for a film character

Wasn't 'Nursery finger trap boy' a short-lived ITV kids drama, sometime in the mid 80s?

I think it was, and Uranium Shoe Man was a black and white 1950s sci-fi TV series

Today I was in a café which had a telly playing BBC News 24 with the sound down. Mainly, I was reading, but I did glance at the screen from time to time. At one point, they were interviewing a poet in a graveyard. He was declaiming a lot and gesturing at the headstones.

TRiG.

it could be.... it might* be.... Graveyard declaration gesturing poet man!

I've just found a superteam:

Who are the McCann tapas seven?


Geggs

I don't know, but whoever they are they should be freed. Free the McCann Tapas Seven!!!

And while we're at it...

Free the Heinz 57!

The McCann Tapas Seven? Quite big, in the early 70's, albeit mainly on the London muisc scene... I believe it was legs larry smith on drums (bonzos), and a couple from the temperance 7, plus... nah, can't remember who they had on guitar

Ah, I think I can help you there - it was the guitar player from the New Vaudeville Band

yep! that was it! and the bassist was from the Alberts, I think...

I heard a rumour that John Dowie was rejected for the position of lead singer for not being retro enough, and it's not widely known Bob Kerr's Whoopee Band came about as a direct result of several other musicians who had being turned down at Tapas 7 auditions getting together in a nearby pub afterwards.

Bob Kerr's Whoopee Band
!!!

"Pushchair baby rail track fall probe"

It's like a fiver-year-old with a jigsaw puzzle who doesn't realise that the pieces (words) are supposed to fit together to make the picture on the lid of the box (a sentence), and they're just picking random pieces and then trying to bang them together with their fist.

It's like reading beatnik poems.