h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Morning Natch
Found this yesterday re Ronaldo's transfer fee

comment by requiem7 (U11597450)
posted 17 Hours Ago

The offer was without conditions. So I guess it will be paid in one lump sum.

add comment | complain about this comment

A reasonable comment,no? How about this then?


comment by MUTI™ (U13929706)
posted 17 Hours Ago

The offer was without conditions. So I guess it will be paid in one lump sum.
---
Conditions means X amount after so many goals, X amount after so many games and X amount after so many international appearances etc etc

Somewhat fecked up his argument there

And now this
comment by Wasson (U1753292)
posted Just Now

Nani isn't getting playing out of badness, he must not be doing it in training and certainly is not doing it when he gets a game.

And now this
Ronaldo again

comment by TopWUM (U13699797)
posted 5 Minutes Ago

Macho - even if I can't stand the guy I think castration is a bit harse punishment for his CL performance.



add comment | complain about this comment

Harse punishment
Is this guy a 1940's Regimental Sergeant Major

Very Harse,glad he wasn't my manager when i was playing.
I got sent off in the last game when we needed a win for the second double in a row. No-one spoke to me for a bit after the game,but on the bright side,no-one wanted to cut my bollocks off either.

Areet Natch
My turn on the Guinness last night and lo and behold turds the colour and consistancy of tarmac.
Went to a school reunion and met up some old mates and one or two old flames.Managed not to disgrace myself or reignite those old feelings cos you've got to remember that they're all pushing fifty and under all the slap and fancy wrapping they all probably look as rough as me!

Even with all the

Areet Vim

I find Treacle pants are a thing of the past, always at least two packets of baby wipes in my house. 'Bidet in a bag' i call them, and i'll always have some in my rucksack for work. My mate takes the piss 'cos he's a 'real man' apparently, He calls them femiwipes

You held it down at the reunion then? (pun intended) I went to one a few years back and me and my mate started drinking at 1 o'clock in the afternoon and turned up a bit worse for wear. Good food fight,though some of them weren't happy...

Check out this link of a mad Russian geezer doing a roadside breathtest

http://www.theync.com/media.php?name=9323-drunk-russian-elderly-man

A'ernoon Natch
I reckon that the mysterious Redonionbag is a former Big Brother contestant cos they claim to STILL be asked for their autograph
and they have a link to a C4 summer programme.Doesn't mean they still are.
I'm still clueless as to who it is though.

I have to be careful at home,we keep a pack of those Parazone flushable wipes on top of the cistern.Wouldn't want to get them mixed up,pure bleach on your ring.

Areet Vim

Yeah, good shout with the Big Brother one could be that munter with the massive tits from a few years back, she was west country.

The Parazone sketch has already been played out around this way, it was in the papers a while back. Stupid bitch found them in a mcdonalds and used them on her baby
Then she tried to sue them saying it was their fault. Felt sorry for the baby of course as it had to go to hospital etc but not the Mother.

606 is boring me to tears, i know it's close season so i am gonna stick with it. If it doesn't improve when the season starts then i'm gonna give it a miss, too hard to find any intelligent humour on there.

Areet Natch

Has to be said The United board is just full of "who's going to replace Ronaldo" and pointless transfer speculation.Absolutely no humour at all.All incredibly tedious.

However a trawl through the fishing board can yield some entertainment(sorry about the piss poor pun). Keep an eye out for this guy
comment by Stool_Harvester (U13928217)

Dunno about you but it's been a very dull week all round.
No disasters that have spawned(another piscatorial reference)any poor taste jokes to liven things up.In fact no jokes of any sort of quality.

Wonder what Vimella and Vimto(my daughters)have been planning with
Vimetta(the missus)for Fathers Day.Nothing,as usual,probably.
Actually I do know,Car boot sale.Got a load of stuff to off load onto some unsuspecting fools.

Later mate

Saw the Russian guy drinking the breathalyser but WTF is it with that site
There were loads of pictures of mutilated women and I only looked at the thumbnails!
Sorry I just came over all Mary Whitehouse then.(not came all over her that would be too sick even for that site)

Areet Natch
Just saw your Deportivo Wanka post.
Athletico Felcher
Didn't Jimmy Rimmer play in goal for them after he left Villa

Howdee doodlee do Vim

Nice one mate,will have a look for Stool Harvester. name!

All been very quiet round here too,was enjoying the back garden last week but that seems to have died the death,hope it picks up again soon,can't beat a Natchattack in the sunshine.

Don't know what Fathers day will bring,my boy is 17 now so he might take me down the road for a pint as the management are bikers and are pretty good like that. Probably get some abuse orientated present like the huge mug he brought me back from his holiday. It holds about four cups of tea and it's got 'BIG MUG SMALL DICK' in massive letters on the side. I've taught him well,he makes me so proud

Yeah,pretty mad site The Young News Channel,not for everyone mind you, i go on there to read the comments as much as anything,can be quite funny. Russian bloke had me in fits

Jimmy Rimmer

Morning Vim

We had 'Just Like Led Zepellin' tribute band down the boozer last night. They were all about 17 and really kicked ass,i thought the drummer was having a proper fit! They done all the classics, you'd have loved it mate.

Not only that, Natch is now in my local on draught and the landlady gave me my own branded glass with my name on it

Happy days.

A'ernoon Natch
Yeah I would have liked to have seen that.
Only saw the real thing once at knebworth.F*ck me just realised it's 30 years in August.Chas n Dave were on the bill too
Zep were incredible though

Glad to see you've got something to drink again

Morning Natch
I see you've got your Bill Hicks pictures up.
It's not often I mourn the loss of an American but Bill's passing
was an exception.
It was a great shame he wasn't around for the Bush administration
I would have loved to have heard his spin on it.

I've got a couple of DVD's and my mum gave me a biography of his for christmas a few years ago.It had loads of his stand up scripts at the back.

Bill Hicks a one off,a truly funny American.

Still .

Natch
Here's some examples of Stool Harvesters work.I had to search hard for these cos his recent comments on the fishing board have been removed.

Thread about fathers day presents.
A signed Runrig stapler, 3 oxo cubes and a polaroid of Ray Mear's spleen for me this year.

The rest are just random

I've often wondered what would happen if I took the droppings of an adder, mixed them with calpol and injected the mixture directly into my eye-ball...........whilst fishing. Any ideas?

I pooed out beans.

Fished here 3 years ago and bagged up on minnows on the top lake on a clouded buzzer. Lads beside me were taking perch on wibblesnarf jigheads and one had an 8lb Pike to ledgered quail testes.


A couple of fluid ounces of pre-seminal fluid injected straight into the brain can render the patient mongtarded and will awake 3 days later believing they are a Barn Owl.

Have u ever woken up in the morning to find a peregrine has had its wing inside u?

Les Ferdinand missed a crucial away game at Leeds after getting a butternut squash lodged in his colon. Took a week for the vegetable to break down and be 'passed' and the resultant squash mud-pie was devoured by the lads in the dressing room.


The boy has watched far too much Vic Reeves IMO

Areet Vim

You're right about Bill Hicks
He would have had a lot to say on Bush and his administration etc. Another one taken too soon

I'm gonna post this and then go straight on to the fishing board. Stool Harvester seems to talk a lot of sense, and i'm sure we'll be able to tango with each other. He sounds right up my street.

Had my first proper drink with the boy yesterday 5 pints each of Natch and very nice it was too.

Evening Natch
Take a look at Youtube,there,s something to interest you I think